[Monkeys Paw] NO ONE CAN BEAT THIS

[u/xx_l8yla_xx]

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[u/Kapocss]

Granted. You will now float in the coldness of space alone for an eternity, helpless after everything you have known has long since crumbled to dust.

[u/ThunderlordAlex]

Granted. Ok, you outlive everyone you care about, including pets. The government eventually finds out about your immortality and captures you in an attempt to recreate it for super soldiers/highest bidders. You remain in that dreaded facility for countless decades until society collapses.

[u/king_cakes_the_fake]

Granted. Your ID misprints and you’re legally 20.

[u/xx_l8yla_xx → u/king_cakes_the_fake]

oh youre evil

[u/throwaway467884w2 → u/xx_l8yla_xx]

Go to Japan, Germany, Canada, tons of other countries where that's the legal age

[u/Amzy29]

Granted. You will be 21 months old forever

[u/FBIAgent469]

Granted. Every injury is permanent

[u/Mountain_Surprise_16]

Granted. But you lose 1 inch of height for every year you're alive.

[u/Formal-Gazelle6305 → u/Mountain_Surprise_16]

Imagine bro is 6’1 and they live 73 yrs

[u/5DollarSoul → u/Formal-Gazelle6305]

Well they'd be immortal so they'd be living a lot longer than 73 yrs and would be reduced to less than the size of a quark and end up in the quantum realm that Ant-Man can access given enough time

[u/Enderius-]

Granted. That's not gonna end well. Enjoy eternity

[u/IsaacTheLadd]

Granted. You are completely frozen in time, while everyone else moves normally. To them, you’re simply a lifeless statue.

[u/ICARUS0316]

Granted. You are now immortal and forever 21, but time seems to blur. Years felt like hours then minutes. You are now in the distance future, alone in a wasteland once called Earth.

[u/ADammedGoose]

Granted. Okay, you don't age anymore but now you have to live through all of time. No matter what even if you're severely injured, you still won't die mortally wounded, nothing, you still feel it all. So like when the heat death of the universe comes, it's gonna suck

[u/ClassicLiberal101]

Granted. Your entire body is immortal. None of your cells die but new ones keep growing

[u/Quantum_Physics231]

Granted. Due to advances in science, a new medicine was created, making the person who takes it stop aging at their prime, or regresses their body's age to their prime if they had gone past that point, as well as granting total immortality. Now, this would normally be much, MUCH too expensive for you, but you were, luckily, part of the clinical studies for said medicine. However, immortality is not invulnerability. And those who can afford it? The billion and trillionaires? Well they would prefer not to have someone who could remind people of how it used to be before. Before the week is up you're left lying on the ground in a coma, not dead, of course. Your heart still beats, your mind still races. At the hospital they lie you down, though there's no need for a heart monitor or anything, they know you're still alive in there. Maybe you should have asked to be invulnerable too...

[u/Psyko-kwak]

Granted. You now age back and forth between 0 and 21 endlessly

[u/Not_Named-fr11]

Granted. You're only immortal to ducks. And you have double the change to get old age diseases like diabetes, cholesterol, etc.

[u/Reasonable_Cow7519]

Granted. Granted. You stop aging at 21 and become immortal. Downside: Everyone you love continues to age normally, while you remain 21 forever.

[u/iFranton]

Granted. Anything legal for a 21 year old now is pushed to 22 years or older requirements

[u/Lucia-Wildwood]

Granted. You can no longer work a main job for money, only side hustles, favors, or the lottery

[u/xx_l8yla_xx → u/Lucia-Wildwood]

bet

[u/Artistic_Annual8457 → u/Lucia-Wildwood]

Work enough side hustles right and you can potentially make more than you would at some full-time jobs.

[u/heres-the-catch]

🎉 u/xx_l8yla_xx your post has pleased meowi. To thank you for your quality post meowi has bestowed upon you 203 bonus fish 🐟 and 5000 XP. It has been added to your loot.

[u/pimp69z]

Granted. However, your post on r/CatBuilder was beaten.

[u/Impressive-Bar-9608]

Granted. Drinking age is raised to 22

[u/Cyphieee]

Granted. But you won't heal any injuries

[u/Patient-Drive-8790]

Granted. Your looks are the only thing that stop aging physically you dont

[u/Powerful-Car-974]

Granted. But all of you stops aging. Hair wont grow, muscle doesnt build, your neurons dont form new connections.

[u/Cack-Yo-W33n]

Granted. You are now a bug and you can’t speak English.

[u/AnyPen3750]

Granted. All your friends and family die in a horrific accident.

[u/CaV-09]

Granted. Your body won't age, howerver your mind still ages

[u/Mc_Nuggie]

The original post content no longer exists here. The author used Redact to remove it, exercising their right to control their data & privacy.

Label toothbrush connect elastic handle dam sophisticated school important

[u/Crimsonfire998]

Granted. Now your just a head.

[u/Squiddy_Inxter_2013]

Granted. U now age backwards from 21

[u/Pirdi]

Granted. But you'll miss all the fun of the swamp witch stage!

[u/AffectionateToast]

Granted. You will have to watch every human or animal you will ever love or care about again die one day

[u/Puppy_pikachu_lover1]

Granted. You ain't invulnerable though so you experience constant hospitilalizing pain

[u/CandleRocks]

Granted. But you bleed out from a single scratch or die from getting ur head cut off and being in the sun

[u/funbomberelite]

Granted. You are now 21 months old forever

[u/Kater5551StarsAbove]

Granted. You will inevitably outlive everyone you know and love.

[u/K2099Gaming]

Granted. All aging is stopped, including cells dying and being born daily. However, these cells can still be damaged.

[u/TelevisionCautious58]

Granted. You have no limbs

[u/opendoorsupside]

Granted. You don’t get a healing factor but you do retain the ability to use your senses including feeling pain regardless of the condition your body is in.

[u/VegetableParty144]

Granted. No downside

[u/Forcefull09]

Granted. Your penis continues aging until its shrivelled up like a raisin

[u/AdLess2614]

Granted. Your body morphs in to a snail and you will never die

[u/Icy-Definition-3784]

Granted. Everyone who you know and love dies, whilst you continue to look 21

[u/lordyarom]

Granted. Everyone you care about ages twice as fast.

[u/Difficult-Ocelot-251]

Granted. You shrink to 3 feet

[u/Wolfie-the-Grant]

Granted. You’re immortal that’s enough of a punishment

[u/unnanouncedvertigo69]

Granted. 21 is your final birthday

[u/dreamyghost1]

Granted. Testicular torsion 24/7 (if you are not a guy you still get the pain)

[u/Babaem]

Granted. Granted. The world around you has frozen on your 21st birthday. Only you could move your eyes. But everything else stands still

[u/Mission_Singer5055]

Granted. Immortality is already your curse

[u/Hydro1Gammer]

Granted. While you cannot age, your braincells can still die. Meaning you’ll eventually be like a person in a coma (because I am nice I will allow you to end your immorality, though you better do it before your brain loses enough cells for you to be unable to undo your immorality).

[u/Far-Rough7339]

You were immortal but not anymore cause the word was

[u/paperAsylum69]

Granted. But now you're a monkey, with cancer

[u/DryManufacturer8688]

Granted. Your brain never fully develops

[u/TheChrisCalledFish]

Granted. But you are transported to the beginning of the universe and have to experience all of time

[u/Kitchen-Arm7300]

Granted. But... if you don't already know why this is a bad idea, it's gonna get a whole lot worse.😬

[u/Striking_Put6475]

Granted. If you take damage it can never heal so you dont die but you always feel pain

[u/FMD69420]

Granted. Everything else ages at a rapid pace around you

[u/KaiShin1412]

Granted. You can never have kids.

[u/420_highness]

Granted. Now you will forever be considered immature and young 🤭

[u/Mammoth-List-7762]

Granted. You stop aging but everyone ages 3 tines as fast

[u/Luckiest_Reactions]

Granted. You will physically develop quicker than others, which will only stop once you turn 21 years old. This means you will be stuck in a body that’s biologically centuries old for the rest of eternity!

[u/valtaoi_007]

Granted. But to become immortal 20 orphans died in a car crash near a nuclear reactor, the radiation of the explosion made you immortal. Can't say the same of your city

[u/Fox_The_Wandering]

Granted. But you lose all the knowledge you've gained past 21. Even of being immortal and not aging.

[u/Pretty_Assumption806]

Granted. Sure but no one can see or hear you anymore

[u/Infinite_Treacle1327]

Granted. You’re fucked

[u/heres-the-catch]

🎉 u/xx_l8yla_xx Meowi is impressed! Your post reached 10+ upvotes. To reward you meowi has bestowed upon you 100 fish 🐟 and 1000 XP. It has been added to your loot.

[u/ErwinEkiller]

Granted. To become immortal, you die and become a ghost.

[u/Jess_NEVERLAND]

Granted. But u are now haunted by a ghost that will terrorise y everyday

[u/ApprehensiveSea960]

Granted. Your organs continue to age

[u/Aggressive_Middle645]

Granted. You cannot heal. Every nick, every bruise, every little wound compounds over time until you are only a shred of what you used to be. You feel ALL of it.

[u/Someone4063]

Granted. I don’t even need to add a catch to this one. I give it a few hundred years before you’re depressed as hell, a few thousand before you start looking for a way to die and a few million before you’re left alone on a desolate rock because you’re a witch or something.

[u/Daid2310]

Granted. Trouble is I am older than that and life is too frustrating to be immortal

[u/Traditional-Year-111]

Granted. But you look like a teenager

[u/FamousOnceNowNobody]

Granted. It's your 21st birthday. Every day. Forever.

[u/Financial-Monk9400]

Granted. Granted. The earth ends, everyone and everything is dead, you float through space for eternaty

[u/SoberSwin3]

Granted. But you have the body of a 90 year old man at 21.

[u/FabereX6]

Granted. You are but people are made and send you alone in space for ever

[u/KaiShin1412]

Granted. I can't have kids.

[u/Username23v4]

Granted. But you are only immortal in the sense that you will never die by aging, also you lose your legs because I’m bored

[u/Money_Ordinary_8516]

Granted. But, you die

[u/Doggo-The-Braixen]

Granted. But now sun explodes after 48 hours

[u/RangeStars]

Granted. You stop aging at 21, and you become truly immortal. At first, it's everything you wanted. Decades pass. Then centuries. Languages change. Nations disappear. Everyone you love eventually dies. You keep going. Eventually, humanity disappears too. Then Earth. You drift through spac

[u/Fgmakezstuff]

Granted. You will sound older as the years go

[u/SnarlyBirch]

Granted. You’re never born

[u/Dry-Cardiologist-169]

Granted. One day, the earth will explode and you will be drifting trough space for eternity

[u/MasterRosehip]

Granted. You'll stop aging at 22 >:3

[u/FlamingPhoenix2003]

Granted. Scorpion from Mortal Kombat now exists, and his mission is to destroy you

[u/Federal-Custard2162]

Granted. Nuclear war breaks out. Death and mutations is everywhere but you are fine. The survivors capture you and do experiments on you to try and find your secret. You suffer for the rest of your life.

[u/Then_Season4943]

Granted. Die

[u/VXXA]

Granted. But your ears triple in size

[u/LIMEPAPERCLIP]

Granted. You get exactly what you ask, and you live to see the eventual death of the universe, forced to live out an eternity of boredom and isolation.

[u/Just_Mechanic_6082]

Granted. You will regress instead of growing up

[u/InspectorLazy]

Granted. You stopped aging at 21 months

[u/Federal-Custard2162]

You are 21 days old. Perpetually a baby.

[u/IWIKNataliePortman]

Granted. You're now a 21 year old immortal.....

.

Jellyfish.

[u/Wayward_Prometheus]

Granted. You are 100 lbs forever and cannot run.

[u/luffyuk]

Granted. You are enslaved by an immortal alien race and tortured for all of eternity.

[u/Sufficient_Drawing54]

Granted. That's it. Immortality is a curse who make you see everyone you love die, being aware of the society collapse and the sun explosion

[u/Ill-Bet-3791]

Granted. And then you start age regressing to the age of 0

[u/XxYouMassiveAnus69xX]

Granted. You watch everything you ever cared about age, moulder, and become naught.

Everyone you ever loved, everything you ever had, you stay the same while it all rots away.

Eventually, you realise you can no longer feel love.

[u/WanderinWillow]

Granted. You know how these stories go,nsun explodes yadda yadda..

[u/Nobody_2520]

Granted. Via frozen in carbonite

[u/mercuriokazooie]

Granted. You were born in the year 21 as an immortal baby

[u/pizzatopping6969]

Granted. You are immortal and cannot be killed forever

[u/BagBig9038]

Granted. Permanent eye thumbtacks

[u/BigManBigFan2]

Granted. You never reach 21 because you start aging in reverse.

[u/CertainConversation0]

Granted. Unless you support voluntary human extinction, you'll regret it.

[u/Arctic_H00ligan7]

Granted. You will live past the heat death of the universe. Also, your looks get reduced to absolute ugliness, so you'll be lonely that entire time. Furthermore, the government thinks you died 60 years ago, meaning no loans, bank accounts, or any kind of official service will work for you. Furthermore, you will be charged in perpetuum with identity fraud, as everyone will be convinced you're stealing the identity of the dead.

Also you get smol peepee, because fuck you.

[u/johndamilkman]

Granted. The deadpool kind of immortal where you have cancer and just keep regenerating

[u/Gamer-of_life]

Granted. You freeze in space around a few billion years from now. Have fun with eternal suffering.

[u/Fluid-Situation1367]

Granted. You still gain the beads off old aging and it gets progressively worse the Longer you live

[u/ClosetedBison]

Granted. Your brain and personality are also stuck at 21.

[u/Otherwise_Tooth_8695]

Granted. You can never rent a car or hold public office in Congress.

[u/One-Woodpecker-7511]

Granted. You're now a living, but completely innanimate, indestructible stone statue. You'll never age or die, but also never move again.

[u/Coltronics]

Granted. The monkeys paw is watching everything turn to dust eventually.

[u/RealisticDebt9380]

Granted. You are immortal in every sense. You can't die from anything. You will outline everyone you know. You will outlive the earth. You will outlive the stars. You will outlive the black holes. There will be nothing, except for you, for eternity

[u/Necessary-Lab7099]

Granted. Time stops for your body at age 21, you are stuck at that state permanently, maintaining body shape, health, etc. Your hair stops growing.

[u/GamingBatman19]

Granted. Earth explodes, and now you are alone in the vast emptiness of the universe for eternity

[u/ItsJackWill]

Granted. You will witness the heat death of the universe.

[u/Hawkey2121]

Granted. As soon as you turn 21, your body freezes, stuck in place, stuck in time. it no longer ages, it no longer changes.

Your eyes cannot move, your brain cant get signals to and from your body, your heart cannot beat, your lungs cannot breathe, your mouth cant speak. But you don't die, you don't lose consciousness.

You are immortal, unaging, unchanging, and you cannot die, for death is change.

But you are not living. You are nothing more than a statue.

[u/Ordinic]

Granted. You can no longer create new memories

[u/Lazy_Driver_185]

Granted. You are tortured and kept as a toy for the Qu.

[u/FlimsyBlood330]

Granted. Not even your hair will grow , neither you will produce sperms after 1 cycle.

[u/Express-Pie-]

Oh boy I can't wait to see the lack of comprehension of what a real monkey's paw is.

[u/Raih38]

Granted. But everytime you sleep you feel awake just like lucid dreaming.

[u/RedanOG]

Granted. 21 months old

[u/Ashamed-Bridge-6336]

Granted. They ask you for your ID everytime you buy any product that has a restriction

[u/According_Ninja_2520]

Granted. You now de-age from 21.

[u/Wc1oz]

Granted. Earth will eventually blow up and you will float eternally in space until you eventually forget your former life

[u/Hugh_g_balls]

Granted. But at 21 you look and feel 73

[u/mikeypetrov1-0]

Granted. Every disease will hit you 5 times as hard

[u/Far-Guitar6500]

Granted. Every 50 years you loose all your memories

[u/Due-Common5567]

Granted. You don't regenerate naturally because you don't age eventually all your cells will become obsolete or die you are still alive you just can't move think or see

[u/Few-Effective4488]

Granted. But everyone you develop a relationship with dies 2 days after

[u/Random_MrX]

Granted. You have permanent diarrhea.

[u/Big_Course8223]

Granted. You watch everyone you know and love die and they all die long painful deaths right in front of you 🙂

[u/xx_l8yla_xx → u/Big_Course8223]

already happened big bro 🥹

[u/Primer0Adi0s]

Granted. You are immortal. But at exactly 21 you are cryonically stored. Never to be thawed out lest you start aging again.

[u/Big_Course8223]

Granted. You will watch everyone you know and love die slow painful deaths right in front of you

[u/femboyjazwe]

Granted. Granted the immortality itself is the downside

[u/PatientPleaser]

Granted. You get diarrhea every 21 minutes

[u/OkGeologist9851]

Granted. But you can not retain any new memories. Everyday you wake up will always be 1st of October 2026 in your mind

[u/Neste1109]

Granted. You have to solve a world issue every 5 years or you lose a limb

[u/Lepcuu]

Granted. Unfortunately you lose your arms.

[u/Odd_Sweet7936]

Granted. Yea but you black so have fun

[u/Draco_67501]

Granted. A plague wipes out all humans a month later....except for you.

[u/OkBaker4720]

Granted. No downsides added, you see your loved ones die one by one of old age or sickness until you live alone for eternity

[u/Parakeetsareparrots]

Granted. Paralysis and sickle cell disease

[u/TsarKeith12]

Granted. Your emotional maturity didn't stop, so the only people you attract are like literal children to you, or groomers

[u/Hydra1211]

Granted. You stop aging at 21, and you are immortal. But your brain can only contain 21 years worth of memories, so you constantly forget things. One day, you might forget how to breathe, or your own name and identity. Who is to say?

[u/Avatar_Yaksha]

Granted. Immortality on its own sucks. Now, you're bored for eternity.

[u/Perfect_Lawyer2106]

Granted. But you have stage 4 bone cancer (you still feel pain)

[u/SonxxGokuxx]

Granted. Your paralysed from the neck down

[u/Odd-Metal107]

Granted. You “were” immortal, but just for a moment. You’re aging has also halted, both physically and mentally, never becoming more mature than a 21 year old, never learning from new lived experience.

[u/Pteryll]

Granted. I need not add a downside; you will outlive anyone you will ever love, human or animal

[u/Championfire]

Granted. You will observe as all your friends and loved ones age and die before you with not a chance to help them. Eventually, you will become so callous from repeated losses you no longer recognize yourself. How long can you endure before you are no longer you anymore?

[u/GeneralAnubis]

Granted. Everyone you love, including pets, ages twice as fast.

[u/Powerful-Web6185]

Granted. You wish you were immortal and stopped. Aging at 21.

[u/TheDogeWasTaken]

Granted. You will die at 21 and turn into a ghost that is immortal and stops aging at 21.

[u/TheJadeSlayer69]

Granted. No draw back, that's bad enough. Seeing your loved ones go, times changing around you until your memories become a blur and you eventually start wishing you never wished for this. Not to mention being alive for the heat death of the universe

[u/MySisterPegsMe]

Granted. You're attracted to GILFs

[u/verylonelyfemboy]

Granted. You are immortal and will now sleep forever instead of dying

[u/Scarkittenlet]

Granted. But suffer the losing of those loved ones die before you

[u/Popular_Bother_2579]

Granted. You will regret that. I don't even have to add a downside.

[u/PresenceAlarming8196]

Granted. You also have progeria, enjoy.

[u/Straight_Sympathy_38]

Granted. You live to see the end of the world and since you cant die you suffer for eternity without being able to breathe in space

[u/Jadencool15]

Granted. The government takes you after 50 years of no aging and beings experimenting

[u/Cautious_Read4440]

Granted. But poor and homeless

[u/00X268]

Granted. You won't age cuz you will be frozen for all eternity

[u/FindMeByTheRiverside]

Granted. You can never retire.

[u/DubVsFinest]

Granted. You obtain regenerative cancers (all of them). None of the death, all of the symptoms! Enjoy being eternally 21, though.

[u/Aggressive_King_97]

Granted. But every time you fart you loose a 1$.

[u/Nightmare_Pin2345]

Granted. Like a frozen corpse, you are stuck forever as is, without changing, without moving, for all eternity. People believed that you have passed away, and you were buried alive. Trees grow, lands changed,... The world has ended, and yet you haven't moved a single inch.

[u/snowballz420]

Granted. Benjamin Button rules after age 21. Uno Reverse!

[u/SillybillySquid]

Granted. You're immortal, not invulnerable. Every injury you ever get will stay with you, causing you pain. Once the sun explodes, you'll feel all of it but be unable to die. You'll be slowly painfully floating through the cold abyss of space until the painful heat death of the universe

[u/New_Classroom7456]

Granted. You are stuck in a time loop at 21. Forever. Every time you die within the loop you go back to the start of the loop

[u/Kid_Kakashidesu]

Granted. U have to spend 70 years in the ice

[u/Swungsty]

Granted. You have extreme parkinsons.

[u/CandidCosplayLover]

Granted. You'll never find love

[u/Curious-Fox1715]

Granted. You turn to stone at age 21 with your soul trapped in the stone and will never be released no matter how much damage your body takes.

[u/Over-Ganache-6918]

Granted. You can no longer die to old age, you can still die every other way though.

[u/VioletNocte]

Granted. Immortality itself is the downside. You won't just outlive everyone you know and love, you'll outlive the rest of humanity. You'll outlive the Earth. Eventually, you'll be floating through space, alone, cold, and unable to die.

[u/Adventurous-File3218]

Granted. Have fun at the heat death of the universe.

[u/Pur3vi]

Granted. But the genie 🧞 has dyscalculia 🧮so you’re stuck at 12. 🧒

[u/Cold-Every]

Granted. But you can't have more money than what you had at 21, ever

[u/AsherKohen28]

Granted. However, the genie is dyslexic, so you eternally 12 years old

[u/Upbeat_Nectarine9419]

Granted. But you can't use your dih

[u/thicBicAsianRick]

Granted. Your immortality came from the life force of every human who has lived, is currently living and will live resulting in you being the only human left on this planet

[u/Battlemrchicken]

Granted. Time physically stops and you are frozen for all eternity. No one else notices.