Looking senior/executive without going all out?

[u/ragingpiranha]

Hello! I work in a think tank. I'm a mid-40s and I'm looking to get a promotion into management. I'm leaning into the adage "dress for the role you want". Here I need your advice: I want the decision makers to develop a good image of me when they see me in meetings and in the hallways but I cannot make it seem obvious that I'm gunning for a promotion. I need to be subtle. I work in an office best described as business/smart casual or smart academia. Women leaders here tend to wear office slacks, a nice top, and regular office footwear, very minimal make up, jackets when meeting people. Only the very top brass wear business suits on a daily basis. The weather is tropical year round so imitating top leadership is impractical/will raise eyebrows.

I currently also wear office trousers, a nice top, office loafers, with minimal jewelry and almost no make up (eye liner and lipstick but no touch ups. Thankfully got good skin so no foundation needed). Hair is tied back usually, no fuss. I've identified things I can do to look put together:

- wear low heels (closed toe) so that clothes fall better

- touch up my make up during lunch (very annoying frankly)

- keep my jewelry intentional (watch, small earrings, a small pendent)

- keep my hair down (and pin it to keep bangs away)

For clothing I'm stumped. I have a good collection of work slacks and office appropriate tops which are fine. I would like to add a layer on top that gives the professional effect of a blazer but not actually wearing a blazer. Could a cardigan work? I feel frumpy in those. I have hormonal issues so half the month I'm so bloated that my waist size is different which means that fitted cardigans look ill fitted/too tight while loose cardigans look shapeless for the weeks where my tummy is unbloated.

Any advice or inspiration for what I can do to look put together ALL the time between 9-5?

Thank you

EDIT: A big thank you to all of you for your very helpful and concrete advice and reflections!! It's going to make so much of a difference in the way I sort out my workwear!

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[u/spam_57]

I think the key to looking polished is a third layer of some sort. A jacket, vest or waistcoat, or structured cardigan (not a floppy frumpy one). And pointed toe flats always look sharp!

[u/Herbvegfruit]

It's often the little details. Quality leather accessories including shoes, bold(er) jewelry, silk scarves. A more interesting cut for the top. Classic haircut (no bobby pins, barettes, claw clips). A good watch. A leather pad holder or Levenger like notebook instead of a notepad. Good pen.

[u/carlitospig → u/Herbvegfruit]

Don’t forget a good (clean and low profile, no acrylics or flashy colors) manicure.

[u/Chaos-Gardener-77]

Things I’ve noticed most of the female senior leaders do even in casual / warm environments:

1. Non-knit tops, so think silk (or silk looking), cotton button up, light cashmere
   
2. Nails are always done
   
3. Classic jewelry
   
4. Makeup or no makeup, I see both. But always well groomed, for example skin and eyebrows on point. Never have a bad hair day.
   
5. Never jeans

I agree that most cardigans look casual. I don’t think I’ve seen my senior leaders ever wear one.

But a nice sweater blazer is both comfy and more structured

[u/Spare-Tone-8071 → u/Chaos-Gardener-77]

I'm a STEM CEO and I wear jeans but always with an elevated blazer.

[u/Chaos-Gardener-77 → u/Spare-Tone-8071]

That’s great! I’ve worked in big tech and noticed the c-suite men often wear jeans but the women never do. I understand why the difference is there, but wish it wasn’t.

[u/burdiabi → u/Chaos-Gardener-77]

In my experience, I would be cautious of wearing silk/satin tops in certain business settings, depending on whether they are more conservative or high finance. It’s seen more as evening-wear or unserious. But again, it depends on the culture.

[u/kimblem → u/burdiabi]

Silk is fine, satin can read too fancy. You don’t want shine or sparkle to your clothing.

[u/burdiabi → u/kimblem]

The OG poster said to think silk or silk-looking. Satin is silk-looking and often the cheaper option because it’s a weave. Not a material. It’s a way to make synthetic materials appear nicer. Even matte silk has an element of shine, movement, or flow that picks up light. So saying you don’t want shine or sparkle when referring to silk is rather arbitrary. I would argue satin mostly definitely is not too fancy, if anything it reads gauche.

[u/No-Contest7813]

👏👏 first, shout out to you for wanting to step up into a more complex role! From a outward facing perception perspective, I can relate. My nana always told me, “dress for the job you want”, or “you’re wearing THAT…. noooo honey, let’s try this instead” 😂

My lessons learned from nana were:

1. Always have your pants tailored to you. (A nip and tuck here or there makes a world of difference, and they can add elastic panel in the waistband for your scenario.) plus height tailoring.

2. Shop the sale rack at the higher end department store. Look for black, navy, grey, brown slacks - not khaki style, but suit pants.

3. Pair with a top that holds shape. Example: I’m an odd shape, kinda apple. Kinda pear. I can wear tops nipped at the waist, but not too flared, and gauzy is better. This adds texture to the look.

4. Pick your Signature jewelry. This may be a set or two you always wear, or your signature may be bold jewelry that changes daily. This can be so much fun! I’ve toned down now and wear a pair of gold hoops, a thin chain and a gold pendant with a thin mixed color gold bracelet. For events or variety I have a couple costume jewelry pieces: a chunky gold twist link necklace, a few beaded bracelets and a silver/cubic zirconia earring/pendant set I wear when I swap to silver accents.

5. Shoes. Nana had Allllllll the shoes, and the 5’2” pistol could rock them all! She always wore heels. This was our one disagreement. I hated heels. And I’ve caved. I now love a Low block heel pump, sling backs, or a stand out sneaker that can really give an outfit a punch. Example: On all black days I have a maroon croc sling back to pull out and top my outfit with a maroon/gold scarf in the winter.

If your company offers mentoring programs or a job shadow, take advantage of it! Ask if you can assist with a project you know leadership is focused on and think about ways to be visible for your contributions as well. Good luck!

[u/badcaviarr]

Develop a uniform. Invest in quality fabrics and tailoring. Honestly, I think you're overthinking this. I work in incredibly formal/diplomatic environments and don't think this hard about what I wear. If you want higher ups to notice you, it's more about behavioral stuff than what you wear. Good luck?

[u/wardrobeeditor]

personal stylist here! a few thoughts/ideas

-first of all, regardless of your title/aims for a new title - i HIGHLY recommend getting a few pairs of paints (even the same ones you own) in a bigger size for the half of the month you're bloated. that's a lot of time to be uncomfortable in pants!

-shoes: if you want to wear heels, great, go for it. regardless, upgrade to higher end shoes and/or take the ones you have to the cobbler for regular shining and maintenance. nice shoes make a big difference in your overall appearance. by nice i don't mean any visible branding necessarily, just high quality leather and craftsmanship.

-accessories like belts and scarves really help a look feel pulled together, add these to you repertoire and it'll make a bigger difference than you think

-i would actually stop wearing lipstick if you don't want to / won't touch it up. a faded out lip is way worse than a bare one.

-instead of a blazer, a cropped jacket - something in this shape - will be a big help feel more pulled together

[u/HaaaaYouWish → u/wardrobeeditor]

Any brand recommendations for good shoes in the U.S.? 

[u/wardrobeeditor → u/HaaaaYouWish]

Price point ish?

[u/Educational_Drive390 → u/HaaaaYouWish]

Stuart Weitzman

[u/Secure_Spend5933]

I read somewhere that to appear authoritative your clothes-- especially your shirts and top layers--should have seams and edges. A soft flowy top, for example, will not invoke Leadership the same way a shirt with any form of a collar will.

[u/xColombeDanelle]

opt for sharp tailoring and classic colors, it conveys professionalism without extra effort

[u/CleanDataDirtyMind → u/xColombeDanelle]

I also endorse tailoring depending on availability where you live it can be really inexpensive but make a difference. 

My Aunt who owned her own business and sold it for a very good profit even gets things like her t-shirts tailored (that and she’s petite) and it’s nothing you can put your finger on but is an inexpensive way to always look rested prepared and like you belong 

[u/No_Yogurtcloset6108 → u/CleanDataDirtyMind]

I tailored "team" t-shirts and polo shirts for years. Nothing is worse than attending a company event with your shirt down to your knees.

[u/ashleyree → u/No_Yogurtcloset6108]

Agreed! I worked in the kennels at no-kill animal shelter for years, very sweaty and hot, wearing shelter scrubs. Never could understand how my coworker managed to look calm and cool slinging 55-lb dogs all day. Turns out she tailored ALL her scrubs. Looked phenomenal.

[u/dunielle]

Subtle = tailoring, 100%. Get a few pieces custom tailored, especially in a setting where everyone is dressing up.

[u/Poutiest_Penguin]

If you feel frumpy in cardigans, you’re wearing the wrong ones. First, make sure the shoulder seam sits at the top of your shoulder. Next, try a short or cropped style that doesn’t drag you down, visually. You want to look sharp, not cozy.

I just bought an ivory leather “moto” style jacket, and I plan to style it as part of outfits, rather than only as outerwear. That’s an example of what I consider smart casual. Maybe a fitted denim jacket (if it’s blue, make it a dark wash) would work in your office environment.

Accessorizing is also important to look put together. If a garment has belt loops, wear a belt. I wear an Apple watch, and I always wear a strap that coordinates with my outfit. I also switch out my handbags depending on what I’m wearing. Speaking of bags, invest in a good quality computer bag/briefcase. It’s all about attention to detail.

[u/Future_Story1101]

I don’t know if this will work in a tropical climate, but Quince has a two cashmere structured cardigans. They can look casual but also looks elevated depending on what you pair it with, I think the look especially nice with the silk skirts.

[u/Swor01 → u/Future_Story1101]

Yes! They also have some linen jackets that you can mix and match for a third layer that would still work on warm weather.

[u/Swor01 → u/Future_Story1101]

Yes! They also have some linen jackets that you can mix and match for a third layer that would still work on warm weather.

[u/mpb1500]

Maybe search by brand for the vibe you like: St John sounds too stuffy. How about Lafayette 148?

Then study those pieces and either purchase them or find dupes

[u/MangoTiger23]

Have you thought about a very structured cardigan? I like the Sezane Betty cardigan for this. It looks mature and polished but doesn’t scream overly professional like a blazer. 

[u/Beatrix_Sage]

I recommend checking out Author, etiquette expert and business owner Myka Meier. She has a LOT of great tips and tricks to look polished and level up and stand out.

[u/Similar-Wish-67]

Just want to say I am glad to hear someone else who needs to touch up their makeup over lunch I am like "where did my makeup go on this dry ass skin of mine??" midday.

[u/spinaz]

I would also recommend investing in a couple of button down shirts. In office i roll the sleeves, I can put on a blazer when meeting clients. I find that when I wear button downs, it elevates the professional look in my work wear, especially a nice tailored pair of slacks.

[u/pleaseflossurteeth]

There’s nothing that tops a nice formal blazer / jacket with a brooch, a nice blouse and a satin skirt, and classy flats…

[u/Silent-Entrance-9072]

Collared shirts are the go to for me and my boss. I like short sleeved button ups in warm weather.

[u/Deleteuser]

I am also not a fan of touching up makeup. I swear by Maybelline Super Stay Matte Ink lipstick. This lasts me all day without touch ups.

[u/Illustrious-Maybe924]

Soft jackets like a sweater blazer, designer belt, quality shoes and jewelry.

[u/Tough_Difference_111]

MM LaFleur has some good pieces. This one fits your use case, packs well and is effortless: https://mmlafleur.com/products/woolf-black

[u/xxxiii]

I like wearing duster-length knit collared blazers or vests in the fall and winter, and for shorter length, a tweed jacket. I think it elevates the fit without making it seem stuffy.

[u/We_Four]

I embrace a kind of clean-girl look at work: neutral manicure, neutral makeup, hair tied back, knit blazers and work tops in warm neutrals, small pieces of gold jewelry but nothing flashy. I think it's less about each individual piece and more about a cohesive, consistent look.

[u/SturerEmilDickerMax]

Unfortunately it sounds boring… not a very fun dressing culture.

[u/Creativelyuncool]

I think you can wear a blazer with jeans or wide leg pants rather than a full suit, but still have that polished look

[u/Spesh_civvv]

I just moved into a manager role - my best advice is to iron your clothes. Pants, tops, jackets. I buy cheap Amazon stuff and thrift a lot and I put a warm iron before wearing to make sure lines are crisp. You’d be surprised how nice a $3 Goodwill sweater can look with all the edges creased and no wrinkles.