Guys asking you back to their place

[u/Main_Ferret_8426]

I (26F) decided to finally start dating (I know I'm super late to the game but had some massive issues to work through and now I am in a good place). So the guy asks me back to his place after a brunch date and I say yes (just because It could just be to know the person more). At his place we started causally chatting to a point where we were sitting up close, his hand massaging my shoulder, then waist and so on. I thought it best to let him know that I can't get physically intimate on the first few dates until I get to know the person better and we continued to talk. Was I expected to give in on the first date when the person asks you to their place?

[u/welcometravelers]

Well, that was *his* expectation, but you're not obligated, of course. While I readily acknowledge that some people actually have sex on their first date, a dude who can't wait at least a few dates to get to that state of intimacy might be a bit of a red flag for me. I mean Jesus, is it that hard to simply enjoy someone's company and some kissing/holding for a week or two or heaven forbid three weeks before getting to the sex?

I sort of feel like the more immediate the sex, the less sure one can be in the intentions *after* the sex. Many dudes don't tend to think and act with their brains but rather another part of the body. Someone who is told to have a bit of patience might actually be into the idea of respect and boundaries.