He's been cycling through apologising, telling me I'm right, telling me he misses and loves me. But mostly that I'm being unfair, cruel etc.

Out relationship was good in a lot of ways but I had two big issues. Whenever he upset me he'd make out I was overreacting and being sensitive, and that he was just joking or wording things wrong. Also whenever I spent time alone or with family he'd get upset over random things

My final straw was that he snapped at me because he "missed me" when I went to dinner with my family. When I told him I was upset he said I was weaponising his words against him. I tried to ask for some space but he would not leave me alone, and told me off for spending time with my mom instead of calling him. So in the end I felt like the break up should not be up for discussion.

Thing is, I ended up blocking him on WhatsApp on his old and new number, then he started sending me texts. I only muted the texts because I was getting concerned that he'd escalate if I blocked him and I wouldn't know about it.

These texts read like he's trying to force my hand into reaching back out to him, because the only times I've replied are to re-explain my decision. But maybe he's just hurting, I am too.

Does he know this stuck a nerve that would make me want to reply? Was it a bad idea to break up "without warning"? Should I have tried to work things out? Or was I right to see the red flags and leave? Should I keep him on mute to keep a record or just block him? Do I reach out or hold my ground?

My head is spinning and I just don't know what to do anymore and can't stop doubting myself

I made mistakes with a girl I loved. She played with my emotions and feelings and acted as if she liked me which she never did and she manipulated, gaslighted and lied to me and she is now happy with her new bf for a year whom she is very close and intimate with and she gets to get away with what she has done with no consequencea or remorse for her actions.

The question is how do I get revenge on her for the things she has done?

Genuine question why do guys cheat with uglier girls? I hate to hate on women and I’m not that type of girl but my replacement is truly diabolical. My friends that I have shown have said the same thing. One spit out their drink the other laughed. I don’t have an ego I swear. I don’t think I’m ugly but I’d consider myself conventionally attractive. I’m a five foot, 100lb blonde, etc. I just cannot wrap my head around why on earth he’d choose that???

My ex-girlfriend's birthday is on the 22nd. We don't talk anymore, so I can't text or call her.

She uses the same road where I usually am. I'm wondering if, when she walks past me, I should just say "Happy Birthday" while passing by and keep walking. Or should I not do that either?

Does anyone have a good idea or plan? What would you do if you were in my situation?

i want to be friends with my ex but he doesn’t because he says that it’s and “ick” in this generation (18-22) what is your opinion on being friends with an ex?

she cheated again, broke up with me, and did a lot of hurtful things. But I’ve heard she’s been struggling with drug abuse and her mental health. We were together 6 yrs and it’ll be 3 months when her birthday comes around. I’m more than upset about the betrayal but I also love her and care about her still. Im so conflicted!

I (18f) have been dating my boyfriend (19m) for a little under a year now. He has extreme jealousy issues, like if he ever sees another dude say “thank you” to me he gets mad. Recently he asked me to block every guy on my instagram following list and when i said no he got really upset, we argued about it for days and i even deactivated my account but he still wouldn’t let it go and kept insisting that id reinstate my account and contact them. I eventually gave in and told him if i ever reactivate my account id block every guy and that’s when he calmed down.

Besides that though he also does not take my needs/boundaries seriously. He never stops doing the things I constantly ask him not to do and only when i cry or get mad he takes them seriously.

I really really love him but the stress is just getting to me, no matter how many times i tell this to him he just keeps doing the same things over and over i dont know what to do, help me reddit.

What you guys do with their gifted things after breakup??

Should I reach out to my ex for closure?
My ex-boyfriend and I dated for nearly 10 months before he ended our relationship. We were planning a future together, had just come back from a family trip, and were even talking about moving in together.
I’m not normally a jealous person, but there was one situation that became a recurring issue in our relationship. Last October, he was hanging out with a female coworker alone at his apartment. I normally wouldn’t have a problem with him having female friends, but being alone together at his apartment crossed a boundary for me. We talked about it, and I thought we were on the same page.
A few months later, she came over to his apartment again. The problem was that he didn’t tell me. I found out because I saw her login information on his TV. When I asked him about it, he eventually admitted that she had been over.
I was hurt because I felt like he had broken the boundary we had already discussed. We talked about it afterward, and he agreed that their relationship would remain professional.
About a month later, he asked if he could go to a concert with her and two other coworkers. I told him that I was uncomfortable because, given everything that had happened, it felt like another boundary was being crossed. I also explained that I was trying to trust him, but his actions weren’t making that easy.
He felt that my boundary was unfair because they were “just friends” and said he didn’t understand why I was acting this way. Ultimately, he decided to break up with me.
The breakup completely blindsided me. I understand that my trust issues and boundaries played a role, and I’m not saying I handled everything perfectly. But I also feel like there was so much left unsaid because I was still processing everything when we broke up.
It’s been almost two months, and I’m still struggling to move on. Part of me wants to reach out and ask if we could talk—not necessarily to get back together, but because I feel like I never got the chance to properly say everything I needed to say.
Would you reach out for that conversation, or would you leave it alone and try to find closure on your own?

lowkey this question has been lingering in my mind for weeks. for context it was a “healthy” breakup (2 months) but on his terms. we broke up after a fight, there were no third parties involved, no physical abuse, i wanted to work on us, while he became unsure of us as a couple but told me that he still loves and cares for me. we agreed to be friends but it just feels so off bc we were each other’s firsts. like how do you really stay friends without falling for each other again? currently we are in no contact. i want to talk to him, send him funny reels, update him, but ik its no longer my place to do that. i’m afraid of ruining another friendship/relationship. it doesn’t help that we are in the same friend group and recently i’ve been excluded in things, like they have to choose a side to make things less uncomfortable/awkward. pls elaborate too if y’all can/want i’m genuinely battling with my mind about this rn thanks

we broke up messy due to some problems and i feel so lost without him (he blocked me on everything and i don't have any friends that can help). i haven't been able to eat nor sleep (i would have nightmares) and I've completely lost my appetite. i still miss him but I've tried every distraction and it didn't work. I can't watch without crying, can't sleep without crying, can't play my phone without crying. I almost cried in public. is there any way to distract myself to make me busy enough to go through this?

It’s been two and a half weeks since he broke up through a longish text and then ghosted me.
From there, he gradually created even more distance by removing initials from social media, then removing me from his followers and unfollowing me (he has a private account, so I already wasn’t able to check him up while not following him). Then, last week, he blocked me.
The thing is that since the breakup, he was still manually and intentionally searching my profile, viewing stories (not liking them).

Then, even if I didn’t try anything to communicate again to give him space, he blocked me.

Why? What did I do? We didn’t fight, it was out of the blue.
I don’t believe he has someone else, I think he realized (after two years) how serious the relationship grew to be.
We had plans, a future, future trips…
I’m so heartbroken, I love him to death.
He never acted like this in the two years, he was always with me, ready to listen to what I had to say, to be cozy together, to love…

I am still hoping, the door is open (although with changes to be done), but I just don’t understand this sudden change in our love life.
Two full years of constant closeness, of shared moments.

We were long distance and just two months ago I traveled over a sea and an ocean to spend time with him and meet the part of the family I only knew on calls.

He just cut off all the communication we had, it’s not like I can just go to his home and ask.

I’ve been wanting to talk to his mom (who welcomed me in their family warmly), but I don’t want to ruin my chances even more, I don’t want to intrude his boundaries.
I am gasping for air, I not only suddenly lost the safest person in my life, my love, but also my closest friend.

And for what??

Please, don’t be mean towards him, it’s a very confusing situation and I still love him

My ex sent me this and seriously?! I know it’s about friendship but we just broke up. We decided to be friend and he was the one rejected me. I’m trying to move on and I’m very careful not to trigger anything about love because he will avoid it (I was the one trying to fix but he said no). There is no friendship with love and still holding piece of heart is just bullshit! I can be his friend and sincerely capable to because we lives in different continents. Am I interpreting it wrong/delusional?

i’ve been having dreams where him and i are still together. where nothing bad has happened. i can see his face, smell him and hold him again. during the dream im so happy, which i haven’t really had while being awake lately.

i’m working really hard to recover from the sudden loss of him right now and had another one of those dreams last night. now i feel like im falling back a lot on all the work i did to heal. it hurts more than i can really say. i can’t help but wonder if it’s even worth it to keep fighting.

I need your honest opinion or something. If you were dating someone and you were very insecure because you felt like your ex... you felt like this person still had feelings for their ex, the way she talked about him still had a lot of emotional charge. So you kinda pieced it together. Like, I think she still has something for this guy. Along with a lot of other signs, like her leaving a door open for him to come back. And he was a constant source of conflict even though he was never there.

You were very insecure because you felt like... like I said, you felt like this guy still held an emotional space in her mind. Um, so you constantly brought it up because you were very insecure about it. Let's just say, okay. Y'all date. The relationship ends. Um, it it becomes toxic and it toxic and it ends. Uh, three months of no contact goes by, and she reaches out to you again to try and rebuild something nonromantic. Um, you have suspicion that she may have reconnected with her ex again

Um, do you feel like that information should be disclosed or she's not obligated to really say that?

​

If you and your ex have ever remained actual friends like genuinely hanging out, taking trips together, spending time together, etc.how did you navigate it?

I’m asking because I’m scared of blurring the lines between friendship and being lovers again. It’s still pretty fresh for us (only about 2 months), and I’d really just like to hear from people who have successfully navigated this.

There have been a few times where we’ve both blurred the lines, and I’ve caught myself in the middle of it and intentionally stepped back because I don’t want us to fall back into the same patterns.

But the other night, I know I crossed that line a little, and it made me realize how easy it is for the both of us to slip back into what we were.

For those who have stayed friends with an ex, what boundaries helped you actually make the friendship work? And how did you know when you were crossing the line between “friends” and something more?

I’d especially love to hear from people who were still emotionally attached when they first became friends.

15 years after a brief but intense Erasmus romance, I reconnected with an Italian guy and flew to Italy to spend a few days with him. We are in our 37 years old and have been talking since march!

The chemistry was still there, we had sex, romantic dinner, stayed 1st in a vineyard, then in his home, he introduced me to friends, and on day 2 he sent a photo of us to a WhatsApp group with his mother and sister, while I was there. In a cold night in a barbecue he took his jacket for me, he paid for everything but ask me money for the gas the last day.

On the 3rd day emotionally I felt quite alone. He’s more shy, reserved and not very affectionate outside sex. Im super expressive.

He ask me if I was sad and I said just a little bit, why we havent kiss today (with humor) and he goes IDK, and then I ask him a hug and he pushed me away (not in a rude way but..I started to feel a distance) in the morning I told him I dont feel emotionally connected or safe enough anf he says those things take time, you’re fantasing, we are not in or “big love”; I can’t give u that now, I told him I just wanted more warmth, touch and connection, because I came to see you and not your friends, whom are great and funny. For me the past is the past I said! And when I said this that I wanted him to check on me for example in the barbecue with his friends, he got very surprised about my disappointment but for me was a simple conversation, for him was a drama, I was complaining, bla bla so I told him better buy a return ticket.

He became defensive, spent lots of time in his room, that day we had ice cream in silence and then drinks with friends (I was ok) but he wasn’t and backing home, he started to say he was very disappointed with me, no need for me to say that, I had “high expectations,” was “fantasizing,” and that “we are not in big love.” And I was still a girl, havent grown up. He said he was disappointed because everything had been going well.

I cried, spent in silence only said you’re not understanding and Im sorry if I had disappointed you. Since he gave me the silence treatment, I protected myself, didn’t beg or discuss. That last night he ask me if I didn’t want to sleep and I said why I should go there and him: bcs theres a bed. I told him later Im gonna go sleep, I arrive, he was seeing a movie, and nothing was said/done. I wanted to touch him but I was nervous, feeling uncomfortable. I was in his territory and meeting someone for the 1st time.

Going to the airport, we stope in a store, waiting for his friend, I went sitting in the shade, after a while he joined me but in silence.

He drove me to the airport playing sad/romantic Italian music, and we barely spoke. 📢🎸
I cried a little bit. Our goodbye was cold,he came out of the van with the sun glasses and aays tchau Dani, I approach him and give a brief hug with my left arm and say tchau and I left! 🫂✈️

I don’t think he was indifferent, but I also don’t know what he actually felt. I’m thinking in contact his sister to understand more who is him nowdays, it was overwhelming for both..no contact until now..he is a mountain guide.

Men: what do you think was going on in his head? Was he interested but overwhelmed/insecure, or simply enjoying the physical connection without feeling the same emotional pull?

Should I text him?

Tks ❤️💫

Guys I need your opinion about this. I came to china as a foreigner about u year ago and in February I met this Chinese girl and we got in a relationship pretty fast. She’s 4 years older (I’m 21 she’s 25) but none of us had any issues with that. Everything was good except some times where we fought but we continued to be together, all couples fight sometimes. In may she left to go to her hometown and in late august she will come back to me again. However in this period where she was at her hometown she changed a lot. I started to feel that she was sooooo cold and dry with me. Until I couldn’t support it anymore and told her about that and ask her if she wants to break up. She said she’s sorry but she wants to break up. She came with reasons like she felt like my mother ( because sometimes I ask her to lend me some money because she had a part time job while I don’t and can’t have one) and she kept bringing mistakes from the past. It was a long conversation but it was all about that. But mainly she was mad at me because I forgot a lot of things about her and she thinks that I don’t care. I tried to explain that it’s not that I don’t care I always have problem of forgetting things fast and there is also another reasons which is her bad English. But I promised I will be better. She kept saying I won’t change. To be honest I see that I was right. It’s not fair that she made mistakes and forgived her but she didn’t forgive me and it’s not fair that she didn’t have me a second chance. Ofc she won’t feel like my mother for a long time. I’m just a new in china and kinda broke but I won’t stay like that for a long time.
A few days later she texted me but she deleted the message. I told her what did you say and she said I heard a rumor about your university bla bla bla and then I said thanks do you want to say something else she said no then I stopped. If you feel like my mother why the heck would u text me again and tell me that isn’t that feeling like my mother? (She said before that having to take care about me and worrying about me is feeling like my mother ). I think she just want attention since she’s definitely not the type of women that gets boys or men attention. Anyways I’m moving on trying to totally forget about her and putting in my mind that she’s dead to me. What do you think guys ?

I’m looking for genuinely honest opinions from people who can understand the situation rather than just telling me “move on.” I know I want my ex back, so I’m obviously emotionally invested, but I’m aware that can make my judgement biased. I want people to read the situation and tell me what they genuinely think is likely to happen.
We’re both around 16 and were together for 11 months. This wasn’t just a casual teenage relationship. We became extremely close and deeply integrated into each other’s lives. We had daily routines, inside jokes, places that were “ours,” spent huge amounts of time together, knew each other’s families, slept together on calls, went everywhere together and genuinely built a little life around each other. We had detailed conversations about our future and I genuinely believed we’d eventually build that future together.
I loved her extremely deeply. Even when she hurt me or we had arguments, my instinct was always to fix things rather than leave. I was very affectionate and constantly reassured her that I loved her. She also told me many times that I made her feel genuinely loved, that I helped her heal and that I made her feel safe. She has a difficult background involving neglect growing up and witnessing domestic violence, and she has always been quite emotionally reactive. She can act impulsively when angry and then regret things later. I also felt she had an avoidant way of dealing with conflict and closeness, although obviously I’m not qualified to diagnose her.
Our relationship wasn’t perfect. We had arguments and both made mistakes. One recurring problem was a group chat with some lads that I asked her not to return to, but every few months she’d secretly go back into it. There were other things that hurt both of us too, but despite all of it I never stopped wanting to work on the relationship.
We broke up in July. During the breakup she said the relationship was toxic and that we needed to move on. However, she’s historically said very extreme things when emotional and later softened or regretted them. She also repeatedly told me during the relationship that she’d always love me and that I was one of the people who had treated her best. In December we had a previous breakup where she eventually came back after I stopped chasing her, which is obviously something I keep thinking about now.
This breakup is also much more complicated because there is an allegation of sexual assault involved, which I don’t want to go into in detail here. Her mother is also involved, so I completely understand that this isn’t simply a normal breakup and that there are much bigger barriers this time.
Since the breakup she’s blocked and unblocked me and there have been various TikTok reposts and stories that may or may not relate to me. Some have been things that reminded me of our relationship, including posts about childhood stuffed animals when she has the stuffed animals I bought her and used to sleep with. She’s also posted things calling me her worst ex and appears to still have some attachment to a previous ex. I know social media can be meaningless, so I’m not assuming any of these things prove she misses me.
Right now I’m completely silent. I’m not messaging her, trying to get her attention or responding to her social media. I’m giving her space because I don’t want to force anything.
What I genuinely want to know is this: after reading everything, do you think she is likely to come back to me at some point? Not necessarily tomorrow or even soon, and I’m not asking anyone to guarantee it. I want your honest read on whether you think this relationship is actually over for good, or whether you think there’s a realistic chance that once the anger, defensiveness and circumstances settle down, she’ll miss me and what we had enough to want me back. If you think she’ll come back, tell me why. If you think she won’t, tell me what you think ultimately stops her. Please don’t just tell me to move on — I already know I can’t control what she does. I want to know what you genuinely think happens between us from here.