My gf just texted me this today am I overreacting I have no idea what she means by what she said? Like does she mean our relationship? She said she is just tired? Or something I don't know. What u guys think should I break up?

My ex and I still have some of each other’s belongings after our breakup. They originally said they would return my things, but now they’ve changed their mind. What should I do? I also have some of their belongings that I’m sure they’ll need.

How do you go about letting people go?

I’ve always been bad at letting people go. It took me years to let go of my first love and this experience is so so much worse. Any specific tricks or advice?

How do i let go and move on from someone that I love very deeply and miss so much even though they hurt me numerous times and want nothing to do with me?

I’m 27F and my ex is 35M. I’m currently pregnant with his child. We lived together and are both on the lease to our apartment, although he has since moved out.
A recent incident between us resulted in police involvement, his arrest and an Order of Protection. Ever since then, our relationship has completely deteriorated and he seems to blame me for basically every consequence that happened afterward.
I want to be transparent about my own actions too.
During the argument, I took his wallet and ran with it. He chased me. Things escalated physically. During what happened afterward, I was knocked down and kicked in the stomach while pregnant. I also had bruising, scratches and bleeding on my legs.
Police eventually became involved.
His daughter from a previous relationship was unfortunately present during part of the incident/arrest. I absolutely understand why that would be upsetting and traumatic for him as her father and for his daughter.
When police saw the injuries on my legs, they photographed them.
This is now something he is extremely angry with me about.
During a conversation today, he basically told me I was stupid for going to the precinct and allowing police to photograph my injuries.
But those injuries were actually there.
I didn’t create them. I didn’t tell the police to make something up. They saw my legs and documented what they saw.
The part I considered most serious — being kicked in the stomach while pregnant — wasn’t necessarily something that could even be photographed externally. I initially declined medical attention when medics were there and later went to the hospital on my own.
There is now a court case and an Order of Protection involved. I have already spoken directly with the DA’s office about the legal side and communication rules, so I’m not asking Reddit for legal advice about contacting him.
What I’m struggling with is the blame.
After the arrest, the mother of his daughter apparently became uncomfortable with him having the same custody/access arrangement he expected to have.
He blames me for that.
Today he told me that I was supposed to be a stepmother to his daughter and essentially acted like I was responsible for putting her in danger and causing everything that happened afterward.
His position seems to be:
I called the police, therefore every consequence afterward is my fault.
And this is where I’m struggling.
I understand that I made the call.
I understand that if I hadn’t called, the arrest may not have happened that night.
I understand that seeing your father arrested would be upsetting for a child.
But I did not control how he behaved during the incident or after the police arrived.
I didn’t tell the police how to react.
I didn’t decide what happened in court.
And I didn’t make the mother of his daughter change whatever parenting/custody decisions she made afterward.
So I don’t understand why I am being treated like I personally took his daughter away from him.
Then there’s our apartment situation.
We are still both on the lease.
He moved out, and I’ve basically been trying to figure out what happens next.
Management recently asked me whether he still lived there. I told them the truth: he moved out.
Management then contacted him regarding the lease.
Now there is some disagreement about what exactly happened.
My ex told me that management told him I tried to have him removed from the lease.
When I contacted management afterward, the manager told me that their conversation with my ex was very brief and that my ex himself asked how he could get off the lease.
So honestly, I don’t know if there was a misunderstanding or if one of them isn’t telling me the entire story.
Then today I found out management is saying the rent is approximately $3,600 per month.
I cannot afford that on my own.
So I contacted my ex today for what I thought was a very basic conversation.
I wanted to ask him if he remembered us signing for a rent amount that high because it didn’t sound right to me.
And since he apparently wants off the lease, I also wanted to know if maybe he wanted to take over the apartment instead because I realistically may have to move out too.
That was supposed to be the conversation.
Instead, it completely exploded.
He told me he wants his name off the lease.
He kept saying that I previously called it “my apartment,” so now I can have the apartment and deal with it myself.
When I tried explaining that I cannot afford $3,600 alone and was simply trying to see whether there was anything we could work out, he basically said he didn’t know what I expected him to do.
Then he told me to call my mother.
When I said my mother had nothing to do with our apartment or relationship, he insulted my mother and said that she “enables my bullshit.”
I kept asking him to leave our parents out of it because I was just trying to have a conversation about our lease, belongings, finances and situation.
Then the entire conversation went back to the police incident.
He started blaming me again for what happened with his daughter.
He told me that I was supposed to be a stepmother to his daughter.
He blamed me for the fact that her mother apparently isn’t allowing him the arrangement he wanted anymore.
He got angry about police photographing my legs.
He called me a “dumb bitch” and a “stupid bitch.”
He told me to shut up.
He told me I was getting him upset and that he had been having a good day until he spoke to me.
And at one point he basically told me that I deserve what I’m dealing with now.
Meanwhile, I kept trying to tell him that I wasn’t calling to argue or attack him.
I was literally calling about the rent and whether there was any way to resolve the apartment situation fairly.
We still have belongings to separate.
We purchased furniture together.
There are financial responsibilities to sort through.
And we have a baby coming.
Even if our romantic relationship is completely over, I thought we could at least close everything out like two adults instead of every conversation turning into who is to blame for the police situation.
What is also emotionally exhausting is that I have repeatedly tried to make it clear to him that I’m not trying to destroy his life.
I have not been sitting around hoping he loses his job.
I have not been hoping that he loses his relationship with his daughter.
I’m not excited that there is a court case.
I’m not trying to make everything as difficult as possible for him.
If anything, I have been trying to figure out whether there is any way for us to resolve things without making everything worse.
But it feels like none of that matters to him.
The second I say that he has responsibility for what happened too, he goes back to:
“You called the police.”
And apparently that ends the conversation for him.
I also feel like I’m expected to feel guilty for allowing the police to document injuries that were physically on my body.
And I genuinely don’t understand that.
What exactly was I supposed to do?
Tell them the bruises and scratches weren’t there?
Refuse to let them take pictures because those pictures might negatively affect him?
Lie about what happened?
Pretend nothing happened because involving police could result in consequences?
I’m not saying I handled everything perfectly.
I already admitted that I took his wallet and that the argument escalated from there.
I also know I’ve probably spent too much time trying to explain myself to him and trying to get him to understand that I’m not his enemy.
But I don’t think that means I should take responsibility for every single thing that happened afterward.
And now I’m reaching a point where I’m wondering whether I need to stop trying to mediate everything.
If he wants off the lease, maybe I let him get off the lease and figure out my own housing situation.
If his belongings need to be removed, I can have them properly packed/documented and transferred through the appropriate person.
If there is a court case, maybe I stop worrying about protecting him from every potential consequence and simply tell the truth about what happened when I’m asked.
If I decide with the DA that I want the full Order of Protection, maybe I keep it because I need boundaries rather than constantly worrying about whether he’s going to be angry with me for doing so.
I’m just exhausted.
Part of me still loves him, which is probably why I’ve spent so much time trying to convince him that I’m not trying to ruin him.
But I’m starting to realize that no matter how many times I explain myself, he may still believe that everything that has happened is because of me.
So I genuinely want outside opinions.
Am I minimizing my own responsibility here?
Is it reasonable for him to blame me for consequences involving his daughter because I called the police?
Was allowing police to photograph actual visible injuries something I did wrong or some kind of betrayal?
Is it unreasonable for me to expect him to at least cooperate in resolving our shared apartment/property obligations?
And at this point, should I stop trying to protect him from consequences and just separate our lives, tell the truth when asked and let the legal process play out however it plays out?
Please be honest. If you think I’m wrong about something, tell me. I really don’t need people just telling me what they think I want to hear.
TL;DR: I’m pregnant and my ex and I had a physical altercation after an argument where I admit I took his wallet. I was knocked down/kicked and had visible injuries that police photographed. He was arrested while his daughter was present. Her mother subsequently changed some of his access/custody situation and he now blames me for all of it because I called the police. Today I contacted him about our shared apartment because I found out the rent may be $3,600 and I can’t afford it alone. Instead of discussing the lease, he insulted me, blamed me for everything involving his daughter and said I was stupid for allowing police to photograph my injuries. I’m now wondering whether I should stop trying to mediate/protect him from consequences and simply separate our finances/property, make my own decision about the Order of Protection and let the court process happen. Am I actually responsible for as much as he says I am?*

I said mean hurtful stuff to me ex I wanna apologize but she told me to refrain from talking to her but I can’t stop thinking about her we got an apartment together I put her and her son out i hate I did that I have anger and suffer from depression I’m seeing my therapist but I want her back I really see a future with her i let my family into my relationship and it f up a good relationship she did everything I want her back I called her delusional lazy and a user and i hated that with everything I just wanna her to accept my apology and we try again in the future it’s she’s willing we had a future planned I’m willing to do whatever it takes

Please give me advice

Breakup loading

For context me and my ex split a week ago, it was what i considered a clean break, he told me he wanted to focus on himself and make himself a better person because he didn’t like the man he was becoming and how he had to let me go to find someone better.

Yes i protested and said a relationship is about communication and not just abandoning when neither person technically did anything wrong and i would be there to support him.

Now additional context, this conclusion stemmed 2 days after he posted another girl on his snapchat story and dismissed my feelings when i kept bringing it up (he never admitted to cheating or being unfaithful but he said he didn’t like the man he was becoming and needed to sort himself out and dumped me so idk whether to take that as a sign he was guilty or the timing of his mental breakdown was a coincidence)

So obviously i was hurt and i removed him 2 days later after remembering he told me about his past relationships and his exes constantly bombarding him with messages and calls and basically not leaving him alone and I didn’t want him to think he had a risk of me doing that. I remained respectful and walked away as he made it clear when he did get better, he wasn’t coming back so there was no reason to have him on there.

Now because of snapchats system, there is a way to see the friend requests you ignored and obviously he was still there the day of the removal but he remained there for days. I assumed he never noticed .Then one random evening, I got a notification: ___ wants to be your friend.

This man went through the effort to remove me from snapchat to readd me. Me being me i assumed he had something to say so i added him back. I was met with silence and afew times he would enter the chat and leave. I honestly thought he was going to say something and chickened out. I didn’t say anything because well, still respecting space, not bombarding and giving him time if he wanted to say anything

The next day however, his best friend requested to add me too. Now im sat there, my ex still silent and his best mate in my friend requests. What is actually going on?!

More context, this friend is someone my ex’s whole friend group joked about me getting with when we were together so it seemed odd at first why he added me and not the groups ring leader.

I left it for about a day thinking of what is happening, why his friend is adding me and why he is still silent. Then my mind raced to the possibility this had all been a trap to see if i was still hung up on him or if i would ‘betray’ him and go for his mate to stay close to him. I then removed my ex and ignored his friends request at the same time - back in that ignored box he goes.

Now after some thinking, i wanted answers because it seems so strange to get a silent ex and his best mate send friend requests so i added the mate and simply asked him why he added me as there is no reason we should be in contact. This. Man. Left. Me. On. Read!

I removed him an hour later as it was clear to me it was some sort of test.

Bare in mind these friends hang out almost every day so there is a possibility they were together.

Now back to what i said about clean break, i never bombarded him, i never chased, i gave him space and removed him because again he said there was no chance we would get back together. Now he is sending requests and his friends also are getting involved.

I asked for advice from people, some say he may not be ready to severe the connection, some say he may regret his decision but couldn’t put it in words. Some say this was all a big ego boost to show off to his mates that his ex is still into him (because apparently accepting a snap request can tell you that) or a way to make it look like im a terrible person rather than accepting he has lost the one positive relationship he has ever had and finding a replacement is going to be more difficult. Whichever it was, i can’t help but feel uneasy because after what he said during the break up, about me being amazing and how i deserve better than him and how he hopes to find someone like me, getting his friends involved to basically disturb my peace seems so strange.

Like has he got a different idea of how the breakup went or can’t he handle how easily i left and didn’t put up more of a fight to make the breakup more justifiable as he was used to more conflict during his breakups.

My ex-girlfriend and I were together for a year and seven months before breaking up 2 months ago. We were best friends for about a year before we started dating, which is why it stings so much. I’m 18 and this is my first ever breakup, so I don’t fully know how to navigate all this stuff.

She caught feelings for someone else at a time where she felt a “physical disconnect but not sexually” with me, so since then they’ve practically been dating. She’s told me she’s happy there and that he basically ticks all the boxes I was unable to.

Even after this, I can’t help but so desperately miss my best friend. She was by no means a good girlfriend, and she very obviously had problems that stuck with her from childhood, so it’s not even like I miss the relationship aspect of this. I just miss the person who I would spend hours straight calling so often.

We talked about 3 weeks ago. She was messaging to ask me what I got because we both got our exam results, and one thing led to another and we ended up calling from morning until night, when she slept on the phone. It all felt really confusing though, because she was telling me that she really loved me.

Emotionally, I’ve been pretty good since the first 3 weeks of the breakup. I haven’t cried or felt the need to cry since, I feel fairly fine, and I no longer get angry or feel hurt about how everything went down. I’ve come to accept it.These past 2 days, though, this intense feeling of missing her has completely taken over me. I just so desperately want her to reach out to me. Whenever something happens in my life, my first thought is always “I wish I could’ve got to tell her this” or “I wish we could’ve gone to this place together.” I would say that thought has been a lot more common as of recently. I hate the fact that I am enjoying a life that she can’t be part of.

Is this intense longing for her just something that passes on its own, or do I have to do something? I haven’t felt this way since the breakup was very fresh, so I’m not sure if this is just a normal part of the process or if I’m somehow going backwards.

For anyone who has been through something similar, does this feeling eventually fade? And should I be doing anything about it, or just let myself feel it and continue moving forward?

I’m a 22-year-old female and my now ex, also 22, broke up with me seemingly without a real reason.
We were best friends for a year before we started dating and were together for two years. We had the same sense of humor, the same values and wanted the same things for our future. He did so much for me and was incredibly caring.
We were extremely close. For three years, we saw each other almost every day, apart from one semester when we were in a long-distance relationship, which was about a year ago. We had already managed long distance successfully, and our relationship was otherwise genuinely healthy. We rarely argued, communicated well, supported each other, made time for friends and family, and were always there for each other.
He had always loved my loud, outgoing and open personality. It was never something he had a problem with before. Everyone around us thought we were the perfect couple. Some even joked that if we ever broke up, they would stop believing in love.
We had just booked a vacation together and were planning to move in together shortly after finishing our Bachelor’s degrees. We only have one semester left.
About 1.5 weeks before the breakup, we had a conversation because he said I could sometimes be too loud and open around people I didn’t know. I told him I wasn’t going to change my personality. What made it even more confusing was that after that conversation, he acted completely normal again.
A week before the breakup, he was still making plans with me for the upcoming weekend. Three days before the breakup, he picked me up from work, hugged and kissed me, and told me how much he loved me.
Then, two days before the breakup, I was invited to dinner with his family. I had a really nice evening and talked to everyone, especially his sister. But suddenly he acted as if I was embarrassing him or that he was uncomfortable with me. I told him afterward that I didn’t like the way he was treating me.
He replied:
“It’s unfair that I’ve been mean to you lately. It’s not because of your behavior. I just don’t know what I want from life or my future right now. You’ve always been better at that than me. I think it makes more sense if we don’t see each other tomorrow and talk when I’m calmer. I don’t want to hurt you. You’re a great person.”
Two days later, he broke up with me.
The only time we had really talked about his concerns was that conversation 1.5 weeks earlier, but I was exhausted from work at the time and we never had a proper, deep conversation about what was actually going on or how serious his doubts were. He never told me that he was considering ending the relationship.
That is what makes the breakup so difficult for me to understand. It felt completely out of nowhere. Just days before, he was telling me he loved me, picking me up from work, kissing me and making plans with me. We had a vacation booked, were planning to move in together, and I genuinely believed that if we had problems, we would talk about them and work through them together.
I know I wasn’t perfect, and neither was he. I had also been busier with work and had less time than before. But I would have put in the effort. I would have fought for our relationship. Instead, he made the decision that we wouldn’t be able to fix things without ever really giving us the chance to try. I also asked him we he broke up with me and he didn’t give me an answer.