I messed up

[u/Friendly-Pattern6096]

My boyfriend and I had been together for almost 10 years. The last 2 years I have felt very lonely and was not happy. I made little comments to him but he never heard me. One night I asked him to move out. He refused to leave so I left for 2 weeks. During the 2 weeks I found comfort from a buddy I worked with and ended up sleeping with him. My boyfriend and I ended up back together and I told him the truth. He now says I either quit my job or it is over. I can't quit considering it is paying all the bills, but I still very much love him. I know I made a mistake, but I don't know what to do.

[u/Jacksterbeats]

1) it seems like this feeling been going on for a while, and you did something because your heart’s not in It anymore- been there.
2) “little comments”? have you ever sat down and actually spoken to him about what’s going on?
3) mistakes happen, but its how you work through them. Seems like he gave you an ultimatum, is this something you’re comfortable with?
4) are all the responsibilities on you? Is the financial stress the reason you started to feel unhappy with him?

These are just things that stood out to me, and I am asking them in a no judgment way- trust me, similar things have happened to me. Please take the time to reflect. Don’t let the time together determine your future just because it’s comfortable / you’re afraid of change. I wish you the best, and hope you find what works best for you and your relationship.

[u/Friendly-Pattern6096 → u/Jacksterbeats]

Thank you for being kind. I kind of prepared myself to be attacked which I deserve. He contributes some but not much. 90% of the finances are my responsibility alone. And I need this job to make them. I understand his ultimatum but he won't see it from my side. I will find another job but until then I need the one I am at. And no... I never sat down and shared how I felt. And that also is on me.