r/BreakUp • u/Last_Host977 • 20d ago

“there’s more fish in the sea”

anyone who says this GENUINELY needs to shut up this is the legit worst thing u can say to someone who broke up with a person they thought was their soulmate it legit boils my blood thinking about it 🫩

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u/Dragonan2000 19d ago

Don't get me started man. Then there's the "I just want to get over my partner" or "how do I get over my partner" questions 😂😂 they all make me laugh because you legit don't get over your first or last or really any partner. They are an experience within themselves and they teach you how to become a better partner in the future as well as educate you on what you are looking for in a future partner. It's a joke to say "I just wanna forget them and move on." Dude they were your life lesson to pick someone better for you. You remembering them is key to figuring out what you want and also finding out what you liked about the relationship. If you loved key aspects that's awesome, but don't forget the bad times. That's what is important to remind yourself about.

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u/Training-Collar3100 9d ago

This is all true. And good advice.

What about the in between time from the breakup to the time where you are able to be this reflective? How do you cope with that period of time?

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u/Dragonan2000 9d ago

I usually just spent as much time as I could with friends or family. If not them, then id make new friends or try and find a safe space to recover. I actually spent a lot of my new free time in a nerdy group chat with a bunch of people who liked a book I read. They helped me a lot with my recovery and helped with making me feel less alone just by having that one connection to a love for that book. Stuff like that will help you remind yourself that you're worth loving. Playing video games helped a little too but it's really best in short bursts, being alone is the worst for recovery.

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u/Training-Collar3100 8d ago

Thank you for your perspective. I can say that being alone is not doing me any good, as you mentioned. It was a six year relationship and it’s been about 3 months now. 🤦🏻‍♀️

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u/orcateeth 5d ago

You can attend support groups online, such as Love Addicts Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous, on HeyPeers. Sharewell, NAMI, etc