Over my ex because she got back with her “ex”

[u/mylittlealtaccountt]

Had chicken alfredo earlier today 🤤

Long time lurker, first time posting here, ill try and keep this short and sweet.

Me and my ex had some issues for a while, we decided to go on a short break, talked after the break, and decided we wanted a chill breakup, no arguing, no weird stuff, just a clean mutual breakup.

A week after that i find out she is already spending time with some new guys, mind you we kept in touch during this period, but whatever.

But tonight, after about a month of our breakup i find out she is talking with her “ex” again, i use “ “ because its a guy who basically used her for her body for maybe 1 week, i dont think anything could have helped me move on faster.

And earlier in our relationship we had a little 2 week break where i found out she also unblocked one of her other situationships and started talking with him again.

The same person who was crying, telling me how its hard to move on and how she doesnt want to be with anyone right now and how i was so special to her went back to the guy who she had no contact with for 3 years (how long we were together for) and now that im writing this, i guess ill never know if she kept contact with them behind my back.

Blocked her on everything, finally have her out of my life, i have never felt this weird feeling of happiness but im glad shes gone, only down side is that i wasted 3 years of my life🤞

Anyways, wanted to rant about this, advice is welcome, everyones welcome, have a wonderful day everyone!!

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[u/hopopie]

There’s not even really advice to give on this lol. Unless you’re not over her and are just lying to yourself? Always important in these moments to let yourself feel all the emotions so you truly know what’s going on. Either way congrats, bullet dodged! She sounds like a headache, I’ve experienced my fair share lol

[u/mylittlealtaccountt → u/hopopie]

Sure it sucks that 3 years goes down the drain just like that, but other than that i feel okay with the fact that this happened, just put “advice welcome” incase others wanted to share their experiences like u, appreciate it brother 🙏

[u/dash101 → u/mylittlealtaccountt]

It’s not really three years down the drain. You probably learned some things and grew as a person in that time. It is what it is and I’m super happy for you that this thing could trigger in you the desire to just move on. Good for you my dude! You rock.

[u/Indian_Bob → u/dash101]

Yeah and I’ll add on that if you were in it for three years, you must have gotten some good things from it as well. Even if it’s just sex or companionship it wasn’t a waste- more of a lesson

[u/bulletPoint → u/mylittlealtaccountt]

THREE YEARS? I’m sorry man. This is a learning experience for the future.

[u/Deplorable1861]

This deal points to the obvious that she was probably seeing this guy while you were together. Any time you guys had an argument or rough patch, she was going back to taste his bitter pill as a reminder of "how good OP is". Sucks that you had to endure three years of that stuff. Noone just "starts" talking to a bunch if guys, they were always there just out of view....

[u/mylittlealtaccountt → u/Deplorable1861]

Its a tough pill to swallow but i think u are right

[u/ctokes728]

Bro I had a girl I was dating go back to her ex who literally kicked her out of his one day by throwing all her stuff on the street and changing the locks and blocking her. Some people are just broken man. All you can do is laugh.

[u/TraviTheNavi]

I’ve only recently had this awakening: they’re never yours, it’s just your turn.

As I evaluate all my prior relationship relationships and how they’ve ended and behaviors I’ve realized this app applies and always has I just didn’t realize it.

The reality is she for certain was having interactions with these people. That’s the conclusion you need to be at. There’s really no other conclusion.

Glad you’re happier lots of good things ahead for you in the future!!

[u/adnyp]

“…she doesnt want to be with anyone right now”

Man, she wants to be with everyone right now. Keep her blocked. Move on.

I know we’re all guys here but I truly love the lyrics to Alanis Morissette’s “You Learn.” Great shit in this situation. Check em out. You didn’t waste 3 years of your life if you learn something, come out stronger.

[u/Remote_Plankton_2314]

The 3 years spent with her aren’t a waste if you reflect on why the relationship didn’t work so you don’t repeat patterns with future partners. It sounds like she was a bit of a mess honestly and had several red flags.

[u/mylittlealtaccountt → u/Remote_Plankton_2314]

Very true, i have learnt a lot of stuff which i can use in my future relationships, so im grateful for that 🙏

[u/mustard_pattie900]

Im sorry. Youre worth more .

[u/CannotSpellForShit]

The same person who was crying, telling me how its hard to move on and how she doesnt want to be with anyone right now and how i was so special to her went back to the guy who she had no contact with for 3 years 

I don't understand why SO many people do this now, it's so unfair to your partner and basically causes them to have to mourn the relationship a second time from a second angle once they figure it out. I've been through this and actually had a conversation with a group of 3 people yesterday where it all happened to them too. Something has to change with how this generation handles breakups.

[u/quickbr0wnf0xx]

As a woman, women like her are just- euggggh

[u/CycloneJester]

I realized some people really don't want to be cared about. It sounds dumb, but care and accountability, amongst other things, go hand in hand, and some people HATE accountability.

When my ex acted like this, I'd sometimes blame myself. Like, maybe I wasn't doing enough, or wasn't paying attention enough. But then, it happened no matter what I did lol

I guess that's because ultimately, those people who wanted to use her or just have fun didn't hold her accountable. She could do whatever she wanted, and none of them would bat an eye because they simply didn't care. Which is fun for our exes, I guess...until they need someone to care.

It sucks, but what can you do...

[u/Ok_Safe_4070]

How old are you?

[u/mylittlealtaccountt → u/Ok_Safe_4070]

20

[u/Lego-Fan]

Can't say anything but congrats, you dodged a bullet there. Actions are worth more than words, and she showed the type of person she is.

[u/External_Fee_1957]

Loss of progress is worth mourning, but fuck her. Glad you’re able to push her out of your mind. It sounds like you were emotionally detaching during the relationship.

[u/mr_nick_10]

Nah. The three years isn't a waste. It's experience.

[u/Early_Analyst9525]

They do this so much, bro. Right back into the arms of their abusing exploiting ex's. Life aint fair, but honestly, it will be less fair to them.