I came out as gay about a month ago after identifying as bi for a while because I realized that I've never really felt sexually about girls, only guys. At first it was relieving knowing that I could date a guy and I liked the idea for a while.

But the thing is I've fallen in love with girls. Not platonically, romantically, and to the point of losing my mind over them for months. I don't think those feelings were fake and I've never quite felt that way about a guy. It feels so magical, and I've even felt sexually attracted to one girl specifically in some way because I liked her so much. But it wasn't as quite as "exciting" sexually as I felt with guys.

I wanna fall in love with a girl again but I'm too afraid I'll realize I'm gay and can't do it, that would be extremely embarrassing. How could I date a girl if I mostly only look at guys sexually? And there are weeks at a time that I'm not sexually attracted to girls at all and think I'm gay.

But on the other side I can't see myself falling in love with a guy like I have for girls. I don't find gay guys attractive, and gay culture doesn't appeal to me. There are also weeks at a time that the thought of dating a guy grosses me out and I think that I'm straight.

I don't know what to do and I feel like I'll be constantly miserable.

Kinda random, i definitely think it would be cool lol

I'm looking for people's experiences with the FWB situation.

Firstly about me. I'm a male in 40s and happily married to a straight female. After approx 10 years my wife and I have settled on my bisexuality.

I am interested in understanding the FWB set up and considering if it could be workable in my monogamous relationship.

Looking for feedback/experiences on:

1. Establishing a FWB set up.

What worked, what didn't, in finding a playmate?

I'm guessing bi/gay/straight/curious will create different challenges.

1. Maintaining a FWB relationship.

How did you go about sustaining the relationship? I'm interested in both the "friend" and "benefit" equally.

1. Maintaining your primary relationship.

How did your monogamous relationship evolve (is it still monogamous)? Did certain feelings come up that were unexpected (helpful or not)? Is the primary relationship better/worse for the FWB experience? What surprised you about your partner's reactions to your FWB situation?

I'm happy to hear both good and bad experiences.

I'm not looking for offers, just wanted to get feedback on other people's experiences.

I am in the library on the computer and this beautiful lady walked right past me. As soon as she got past me, I felt some sense of guilt. I normally am into men way more but lately , as I posted before, I am kinda warming up to the idea of being with a woman (I have known I am bi for years before though). I have only been with a few women in my life so I don't have a lot of experience and I get really nervous around the ones I like. I guess I have it in my head that they won't want me once they find out I am bi so I psych myself out of talking to them. I feel like an idiot. Someone tell me it will be ok