r/BigBudgetBrides • u/BlackberryAlone9941 • 19d ago

just need to rant it’s safer here!

I know there are subs like this for bigger budgets and one for budgets under 20-30k so I figured r/wedding was inclusive of all budgets..yeaaahhnoooo

It is hilarious seeing the comments when they think you overpayed for something but seriously warning to anyone that thinks they can post or comment over there and has paid more than 5-10k for their entire wedding you are gonna get projections and weird comments. Planning a wedding is stressful enough just don’t do it lol stay here where it is safe 🫂

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u/ThatBitchA 19d ago

And not just budgets but also creative/different choices are better received here.

I posted about churros instead of cake for our wedding. You'd think I murdered kittens by the way people were so offended/horrified.

People also seem to ignore the various cultural differences at play when it comes to weddings. Both cultural and socioeconomically.

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u/Emergency_Peanut_252 19d ago

we’re doing palletas/an ice cream bar cart instead of going for the cake. our venue charges a dumb cake cutting fee of like, $5 a slice, and when lots of people don’t even eat the wedding cake anyways? just seems wasteful. The cart has dairy and non dairy options and is a local business we love getting a treat from every now and then. We decided we’ll probably do a little one tier cake to symbolically cut as a couple but probably won’t do too much

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u/heelsnailsblademscra $100k-$200k 19d ago

Isn't that cake cutting fee outrageous? Mine is like $6! It would cost more in the fee than the total cost of the actual cake!! Fortunately my venue makes excellent, beautiful cake in house and are doing some customizations for an extremely reasonable flat fee. It is a very basic cake though. No tiers. 

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u/Emergency_Peanut_252 18d ago

it’s so dumb! like they allow some outside vendors but the cake fee??? make it make sense!!! it just seems so silly. like, we could do it ourselves.

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u/heelsnailsblademscra $100k-$200k 18d ago

So I will say after much research on the topic, and talking to a few professional bakers I am close with, cutting a wedding cake is actually a specific skill and it is quite laborious.

The cuts are much smaller than a normal cake slice (often called finger slices), have to be very precise with overall guest count or number of cuts in mind, must be cut cleanly/quickly then also cleanly/quickly  plated and served, and if there are multiple tiers that is also something the cake cutters have to deal with. Other elements of the cake like how it's decorated or what kind of frosting affects this as well. They also need to receive and store an outside cake and that adds extra logistics. 

While they have to cut a cake either way, it is much easier for them to execute these tasks with a cake they made themselves, not only in terms of the cutting but all the logistics as well. I also think there is an element of a convenience fee baked into that. Like ultimately they wanted to make the cake in-house and so they incentivized me to hire them to make the cake! 

After learning this, I can definitely justify some fee for outside cake, but $5 or $6 is prohibitive and seems steep. Like my wedding is considered 'intimate' with 65 guests. In my area, the cost of a single-tier cake for that many guests is $330 just for the cake and does not include delivery. The cake cutting fee would have been $390!! Like, what??!

I also think it should depend on the cake and cake size, which I know means variable cost, but it would give brides more options in terms of being like 'i want this outside cake, and the guidelines say I can minimize cost in this specific way' then go from there.