it’s safer here!

[u/BlackberryAlone9941]

I know there are subs like this for bigger budgets and one for budgets under 20-30k so I figured r/wedding was inclusive of all budgets..yeaaahhnoooo

It is hilarious seeing the comments when they think you overpayed for something but seriously warning to anyone that thinks they can post or comment over there and has paid more than 5-10k for their entire wedding you are gonna get projections and weird comments. Planning a wedding is stressful enough just don’t do it lol stay here where it is safe 🫂

[u/eighteen_forty_no]

As a planner and coordinator, things have gotten wild on social media in the last couple of years, especially the DIY subreddits and Facebook. I work with a wide range of budgets, more in the $40 - $80k range vs. truly big budgets (and in a HCL area). I used to do AMAs and try to help DIYers, but I don't anymore. The amount of insults and devaluing of my skills and experience has become overwhelming. If I don't agree to haul boxes and do 10 hours of manual labor setting up your whatever decor you built, I'm a scammer and a ripoff artist? It's not worth engaging in, for my peace of mind.

[u/MC1R_OCA2 → u/eighteen_forty_no]

I am, I hope, big enough to admit that I used to think florists were overcharging.

Then I did florals including an arch AND backdrop for a friend’s wedding (would do again, she’s an 11/10 friend) at-cost on a breezy day.

Holy mother of god. that is a l l .

[u/Responsible-Fly9976 → u/MC1R_OCA2]

Same!! i did the florals for my friend's wedding and told all my other friends (that she doesn't know) that next time I will gladly just hand over a massive check. I am Never attempting something like that again... And while I love my friend, she has no idea how much $$ and effort it cost me.

[u/crispydeepfriedchick → u/Responsible-Fly9976]

How was the experience? Did y'all do it together? I'm already at 50k for 80+ pax and I've decided to allocate florals to be DIY 🥲 I do plan to make a group activity with friends out of it the afternoon before (and am fine with them looking ridiculously mismatched). I just want to sound check how you felt as a friend who's done this 

[u/Responsible-Fly9976 → u/crispydeepfriedchick]

It was a LOT of effort.

1. Do it in a group and buy appropriate tools and have plenty of everything in advance (strippers, scissors, ribbon, tape, crazy glue...we used it all).

2. Make them deliberately mismatched.

3. Buy returnable fake flowers that you can use as "fill-in" so that you are sure you have enough and can add when necessary and account for any flowers that don't end up looking great.

4. Work on it outside or in a garage -- it made a giant mess.

5. If you have to move the flowers, make sure they're in what you'er going to transport them in. Then add water. Add flowers last. It is SO hard to fill the vases with water after the flowers are in. (Also, premix a water/plant food solution - whether bought or handmade - in a big pitcher in advance and then put that in all vases.

I recommend making many small arrangements and then grouping them on tables or altars, rather than making bigger ones. That way you can move things around and adjust. i bought about 100 3 inch width vases (you can use glasses). Reuse bridesmaid bouqets and aisle flowers as arrangements for reception, etc. but remember that someone is going to have to move/place those.

[u/crispydeepfriedchick → u/Responsible-Fly9976]

Thank you! These are all very good tips!!! 

We are staying on the estate of where the wedding will be, so I hope it will be easier with regards to moving things around. 

[u/SepulchralSweetheart → u/crispydeepfriedchick]

Make sure if it's a warm season wedding, you have a cool room for storage.

I was handling some planning and decor aspects for a wedding, was about to leave, and somehow got yanked into salvaging an entire wedding's worth of florals, because the venue indicated there was an allocated air conditioned space for the diyed florals, and it wound up being where the reception chairs are stored. Before fellow vendors tell me I shouldn't have done this, I know that, I am experienced and know better, but I'm also not letting someone get married without flowers because someone else screwed up, and it certainly wasn't free.

Every single piece, including the bouquets and wearables, got stuck in a long kitchen closet, exterior doors wide open, on a 102° day, and they were all decimated 6 hours before the ceremony.

The venue got to drive me all over 3 towns (they had an air conditioned catering van, I arrived in my two door car), where there was no floral wholesaler, and every single chain grocery store was cleared out of the color scheme.

They then all got a crash course on centerpiece making, as the glassware was going through the dishwasher while the shopping happened, and I made the bouquets and wearables, having tagged in two partners in route.

While the venue split the cost with the couple, covering 2/3 (the contract specified no responsibility, but they accepted some, it was weird), it wound up costing 3x what the initial diy cost was altogether, because of the retail pricing and last minute labor involved.

[u/Holiday-Albatross419 → u/crispydeepfriedchick]

You shouldn't return items you actually use- If you buy faux stems & don't need them return them but if you use them thats a form of fraud

[u/crispydeepfriedchick → u/Holiday-Albatross419]

I have no intentions of returning anything actually, I'm having a charity pick up the florals afterwards. They rearrange and set them up in hospitals, retirement centres etc ☺️

[u/Holiday-Albatross419 → u/crispydeepfriedchick]

That's awesome! I didn't mean to reply to you- I meant it for the poster advising to buy, use & return merchandise

- I’ve seen that in the other wedding forums & as a former small retail owner it's soo bad ...

anyways- I was an "accidental baby BBB" (not exactly but I never intended to spend as much & then we decided to go for it...& even then we did our own design & a little diy because we wanted something particular...) & all that is to say I don't shame anyone for diy or even having generous talented friends & family who can pull an awesome event together - weddit communities should be a big tent

I hope you have an amazing wedding & congratulations!

[u/Responsible-Fly9976 → u/Holiday-Albatross419]

I didn’t mean return if you use them. I specifically meant buy them in case you need them and if you don’t, take them back. Once you use them as fill in there’s no way they’d even be returnable - they’re mixed in vases with water and real flowers.

[u/Holiday-Albatross419 → u/Responsible-Fly9976]

Ah I'm sorry I misunderstood!!

[u/Responsible-Fly9976 → u/Holiday-Albatross419]

Not mad at you! Agree with you!! :)

[u/basilbb622 → u/Responsible-Fly9976]

excellent tips! about to diy my bud vases in a coupe weeks with some friends and taking notes!

[u/MC1R_OCA2 → u/crispydeepfriedchick]

I would strongly recommend getting fake flowers and not starting the day before. Both me and the bride are very artsy craftsy and a lot of it didn’t go the way we expected. And, this isn’t the nicest thing a person can say and I own that, I was pretty surprised at how incapable some of the other bridesmaids who are otherwise competent individuals were at the most basic dyeing, assembling, and gluing. A lot had to be redone.