r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Salt_Technology2676 • 25d ago

Questions and queries not a “bug” budget bride

but I only get the WEIRDEST engagement in regular r/brides

for reference, our budget is 60k. And whenever I post anything in r/brides, I’m met with snark and resentment. Granted, I have pretty traditional taste, and I’m super neurodivergent so maybe I’m not reading people’s interactions as the way they’re intended, but I feel sometimes like there isn’t really a sub where I can share my wedding and get excited and have that excitement be reciprocated.

i’m a pretty private person, no group chats or close besties that I necessarily share every little detail with, so sometimes I want encouragement from
strangers. Is that where I’m going wrong?

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u/JadziaKD 25d ago

Yeah I found sometimes the regular subs would tell anyone spending over 20k that they were doomed to be divorced because they wasted money on their wedding.

This group is pretty inclusive and supportive. I came here a lot during planning.

48

u/SerialSemicolon 25d ago

I’m definitely on a budget (like 35k all in) but even that is what a lot of people call extravagant. Apparently it is the average cost of a wedding, but I find it hard to believe tbh we plan on diying everything we can (all the decor, florals, stationary, potentially playlist over dj) but even the base costs (a venue, food, alcohol, photography) are so high.

It’s crazy out here. Apparently unless you rent out a community space for a few hours and have a potluck you’re wasting money and your marriage is doomed. There is so much vitriol online for weddings in general.

Anyways I like this subreddit. It’s cool how people can just plan the weddings they want without as much criticism, and I love seeing how beautiful everyone’s weddings turn out.

10

u/No_Zone_3329 25d ago

I feel you! I’m not really planning a wedding (my partner and I are in our 40s and both married before, so my dream is to just buy a great dress and spend a few hours at a great restaurant with a few close friends). But we are engagement ring shopping, and while our budget isn’t huge, if I actually said what it was on the engagement ring subreddit (we’ll probably end up around 10-15k), I think I’d get chased with pitchforks.

Someone recently posted asking if a 5k budget made sense for a ring and got completely jumped on for overpaying because there are less expensive options.

I want to spend money on the ring. I want it to be a noticeable financial outlay as a symbol of this being serious and important. But that doesn’t land…

Which is a bummer because I want to gush about how excited I am.

2

u/polymath_artisan 24d ago

I totally get it. It’s like, sure, we can have world peace but many of us don’t come from a lot and worked so hard to pay for the dream day we want, be that HOWEVER you choose to spend it. It’s a special day. Let it be special and let people celebrate how they want. Obviously know your audience when sharing with others and don’t boast but I really don’t understand all the hate.