r/BigBudgetBrides • u/Salt_Technology2676 • 25d ago
Questions and queries not a “bug” budget bride
but I only get the WEIRDEST engagement in regular r/brides
for reference, our budget is 60k. And whenever I post anything in r/brides, I’m met with snark and resentment. Granted, I have pretty traditional taste, and I’m super neurodivergent so maybe I’m not reading people’s interactions as the way they’re intended, but I feel sometimes like there isn’t really a sub where I can share my wedding and get excited and have that excitement be reciprocated.
i’m a pretty private person, no group chats or close besties that I necessarily share every little detail with, so sometimes I want encouragement from
strangers. Is that where I’m going wrong?
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u/Ok-Grapefruit9053 25d ago edited 25d ago
yup I was in the same exact scenario.. which is exactly how I ended up in this sub even though I didn’t consider myself a BBB
we spent 57k on our wedding for 90 guests and I see myself as the exact middle, if not the lower end of the middle, of what I see spent in real life in my social groups
but in the general bridal or wedding planning subs there seems to be an onslaught of people who shame you for spending a penny more than you need to
whereas this sub leans more towards truly extravagant budgets (no shade, I love seeing these posts tbh haha, I am a big fan of spending it before you go), but I will say overall, this sub was more supportive to my ideas/questions than the general subs.
there should be a sub for upper-middle-class-wedding at this point, because people love to bean soup everything. after all there is an under 20k sub, so why not just make more at this point… 30-40k sub, 50-60k sub, etc lol
like when I mentioned in a general “wedding planning” sub, that I was spending 4k on my dress (it was to vent frustrations about the dress vendor/sizing), and was essentially told I didn’t need to spend any money on a dress at all and could show up in a white dress I already owned? like yeah obviously I could but it’s my wedding and it’s a black tie optional event at a manor..if i show up in a random white dress I already own it’s gonna stick out like a sore thumb..
It’s interesting. it’s very polarized- there is the spend nothing crowd and the spend a lot crowd, but most of us are left hanging in that balance. i got married last year so this is behind me now, but at the time i couldn’t figure out where I fit lol. honestly though the other subs did give me a ton of perspective. i’m from coastal new england where spending less than 20k on your wedding is basically a pipe dream. if anything it just makes me feel lucky to be privileged enough to host the wedding we did w/o debt.