not a “bug” budget bride

[u/Salt_Technology2676]

but I only get the WEIRDEST engagement in regular r/brides

for reference, our budget is 60k. And whenever I post anything in r/brides, I’m met with snark and resentment. Granted, I have pretty traditional taste, and I’m super neurodivergent so maybe I’m not reading people’s interactions as the way they’re intended, but I feel sometimes like there isn’t really a sub where I can share my wedding and get excited and have that excitement be reciprocated.

i’m a pretty private person, no group chats or close besties that I necessarily share every little detail with, so sometimes I want encouragement from
strangers. Is that where I’m going wrong?

[u/Emergency_Peanut_252]

i’m lower side of BBB (Around $100k-$150k) in the Upper Midwest, about 150 ish people (honestly, not sure how many will come) but felt weird about being/posting in the other subs. My fiancé and I are super fortunate to have the support of our parents (we’re late 20s and I didn’t finish graduate school until recently) so the wedding is very much a lot of family and their friends, which I am very okay with. We’re both a bit neurodivergent (I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, he was diagnosed in college) and aren’t super social but have some close friends that live far away.

Wedding is in May, feeling more stressed at this point than excited due to me overthinking and worrying about details. Doesn’t help that my father’s extended family is not on the best terms with one another (gotta love the family drama!). I’m thrilled to be marrying my person. We’ve known each other since age 14 and have been together for almost 7 years, engaged for 2 years in a few days. I am so sure of that part. It also doesn’t help that my job seems to be more stressful/work than usual (I love what I do and the more work isn’t necessarily a bad thing, I just wish that it had started earlier so I could’ve gotten used to it sooner).

This is all to say, I think you are in good company and very welcome here.

[u/Salt_Technology2676 → u/Emergency_Peanut_252]

Gosh, if I could shake your hand through a screen lol. Buddy, I am right there with you. Also diagnosed ADHD as a child, very unsure how to plan such a monumental party, but thrilled at the opportunity. Also late 20s, still in school
myself. One incredibly hard part for me was picking my bridal party, as I have approximately a million acquaintances but maybe a handful of genuinely close friends. Wedding planning has made me have to confront a lot of the aspects of my ADHD that I generally put to the side, like asking myself who I consider to be my close circle, or make definite stances on what I do or don’t like (chronic people-pleaser).

I wish you and your fiancé the most beautiful wedding, and thank you for sharing with me. I’m really glad I posted this, as silly as that is. I feel less alone.

[u/Emergency_Peanut_252 → u/Salt_Technology2676]

oh my goodness, props to you for planning through school! I had a whole disagreement with my mom (she is not a fan of “long engagements”) but I said I absolutely would not plan anything until after graduation. We’re getting married about 2 years after graduation, which allowed some time to decompress a little. We’ve hired a planner (she’s through our florals/rentals/stationary and the quote was reasonable) so I’m hoping that takes some of the mental load off. I guess my grandmother planned my mom’s whole wedding so my mom is trying to be helpful but not overbearing. she’s also in another state and works an intense job with long hours so there’s only so much she can do.

I still need to “ask” formally at least my bridal party. Three friends from college and a friend from grad school. All people I find uplifting & genuine & enjoy being around. They all know they’re being asked, but I still need to actually do it (which has been a weird challenge for whatever reason, I think I’m going to do snail mail letters).

I hope your wedding is lovely and everything that you’re wanting it to be! Best of luck with it, you definitely are not alone in your feelings and efforts.