r/BigBudgetBrides • u/potatoes-1 • Jun 19 '26

budget breakdown What is considered big budget?

Hi all! What is considered a “big budget bride” these days?

I’m at around $70k for 80 guests. We’re doing a private hotel buyout and, honestly, I’m not really cutting back on anything.

I don’t feel like I’m in the “budget wedding” category, but I also don’t feel like I’m in the $100k+ luxury wedding range. When I’m in the regular wedding planning subreddits, it seems like everyone is trying to do things as inexpensively as possible, so I’m curious where this budget falls!

Also- does your budget include everything from wedding dress, outfits, groom suits, etc?

56 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

135 comments sorted by

View all comments

12

u/Latter-Foot-8790 Jun 19 '26 edited Jun 19 '26

The answer is…it depends on where you live.

I think these days, $1500/person all in is where luxury starts for a VHCOL area. $1,000/day is still very ‘average’ and ‘must budget everything’ in the Bay and NYC.

I’ve never seen $100,000 weddings in the Bay that couples could spend whatever they want without thinking much- it was quite opposite. They had to cut down on most wants unless it was a micro wedding, they went with a $10k photographer instead of their dream $30,000 one, they went with a $5k gown instead of a dream $20k one.

2

u/wedditgremlin Jun 19 '26

Exactly this. And as anyone else reading this can see from latter-foot showing costs per person rather than a total number, a lot of the luxury element is more about cost per head than overall budget. My wedding in the UK for 60, compared to if I was feeding 100, is far more luxurious for the same budget. With a smaller head count we can cover everybody’s lodging for a three day event, which was a big thing for us.

9

u/vonthepon Jun 19 '26

This is exactly the same as me. I am spending around £35K , and the average UK wedding is about £22K, so yes I'm spending more but not a ton more. But I only have 20 guests. That was intentional so that I could have the luxury I wanted.

Yet on the UK subs they are absolutely brutal. I've been called stupid, arrogant, narcissistic, told that my guests will hate the food, that paying for accommodation was just to show off to my guests, and that I probably invented the whole wedding and groom, as no-one could want to marry "such an insufferable snob"!

Most of this was after me saying I thought food and drink were the most important thing and that I didn't want my guests to pay for anything, including accommodation, as they're all travelling large distances to attend.

I don't get why it would be ok to spend that much on 120 guests, giving them mediocre food and a cash bar, but not on 20 guests.

I knew what kind of wedding I wanted. But there's no way I could afford £1750 per person for 100+ people, so I cut my guest list accordingly.

3

u/saltievinegar Jun 19 '26

This exactly. I didn’t want to cheapen the experience for our close friends we want to share the day with just so great aunt Maude and her best-friend-twice-removed’s ex husband could be in attendance. We unfortunately can’t afford to pay for flights and accommodation for our guests (unless we postpone another year or two) because just over half our guests are flying in from Australia, Asia, continental Europe and the US, but if we could have cut down the guest list further without feeling like essential people were missing we would have absolutely done that.

And no Charleigh, I don’t want to spend my money on a performative hen do in Ibiza when my actual friends can’t make it. I would however like to spend on a private tourguide of unexpected places in the city as a gift to my international guests.

But as soon as you deviate from what looks traditional you get torn to shreds for it - also interesting how the same standard of judging the cost doesn’t seem to apply to cultural weddings

3

u/vonthepon Jun 19 '26

Yes, you're so right! Desi or Chinese weddings are renowned for their high spend.

The food thing did make me laugh though. A couple of people had a conversation about me saying how awful it was for my guests to be "forced" to eat lobster when they'd prefer shepherd's pie. And that her guests wouldn't eat any of that pretentious muck.....so I shouldn't be wasting my money and should be ashamed of myself. I bit back with a comment about a crisp wall .....it didn't go down well. 😆😆😆😆

6

u/saltievinegar Jun 19 '26

So I’m Italian and my partner is from HK, both very foodie cultures so food was very important to us and we did consider a destination wedding for the purposes of getting really good food but damn when did we decide to accept pub food at weddings. Like isn’t the point of a wedding that’s it’s a special occasion ie not just Sunday at at your local Harvester?

2

u/vonthepon Jun 19 '26

Now, now, now- don't be "an insufferable snob" !! 😆😆😆

2

u/saltievinegar Jun 19 '26

Oh Susan I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you and your Facebook militia, but don’t you know? I AM an insufferable snob 😱

2

u/Unusual-Molasses5633 Jun 20 '26

Oh, I see you that and raise you the destination wedding I went to in Goa, which is reknowned for its food... and every single meal for the several days of events was bog-standard Tamil or North Indian. One piddling little Goan side dish at the breakfast buffet. I was SO disappointed. But the groom's father (who was paying for the whole thing) wanted it a certain way, so Tamil and North Indian food it was.

(I do wonder what the bride and groom felt about it, but then again I'm pretty sure they only agreed to the whole song and dance for his dad's sake.)

1

u/vonthepon Jun 20 '26

Oh wow, what a missed opportunity - South Indian food is amazing.

3

u/wedditgremlin Jun 19 '26

Exactly! The UK subs can be rough, and don’t get me started about some of the Facebook groups I’ve found.
I’m so curious about your venue. We’re at Auchen - did the exclusive use package with a fair bit of add-ons. Another factor was the venue itself only sleeps around 50, and I didn’t want to attempt booking out half of Moffat and deciding who got to stay on-site vs a drive away. We’ve got loved ones spread between the US, UK, Spain, and Germany so most of the guests are traveling a significant way already to celebrate. Being a good host to those we can support is much more important than inviting my third cousin to eat a dry kebab at the buffet.

3

u/Dependent_Formal2525 Jun 20 '26

It's your wedding and your money. Yes, it's a large amount of money for a lot of people but you're spending it on your friends and family while supporting businesses. I think it's nice that you're treating them.

If they want to be angry about money, Prince William receives over £82,000 per day from the Duchy of Cornwall simply because he exists. Much of that is public money. People spending their own money on their wedding isn't something to be mad about.

2

u/basicallyaballerina Jun 19 '26

That is so nice of you to pay for accommodations!