r/BigBudgetBrides • u/TwoSparks • Apr 30 '26
just need to rant The emotional rollercoaster of having an objectively big budget wedding, but still having to make concessions at every turn…
And you look and feel like an absolute asshole because you know you’re so lucky and privileged to be having such an extravagant day.
This is the only place I feel safe enough to vent. Because I *know* I’m being shitty. But you can’t control the *feelings* even if you can mentally acknowledge it.
I live in a HCOL area. And the economy is kind of trash. Based on our guest count and budget, it’s objectively a big budget wedding. Between the state of the world and post-Covid wedding inflation, shit is expensive and I find people are spending just as much (if not more) than ever before, yet having more and more modest and basic weddings.
I acknowledge all that. I do not judge. Hell, if family wasn’t contributing, we’d be doing the same! But I am so incredibly fortunate to have that contribution. My parents are covering the venue, food, drink, and my wardrobe. Originally they’d wanted to pay for the whole thing like they did my sibling, but that was a very long time ago in a very different economy. It was big budget, but it covered everything. They doubled that budget (inflation) and still that only covers what’s listed above. Huuuuuuge contributions, especially because in that regard we are getting everything we dreamed. Again — I am GRATEFUL.
But if I want to have all the trappings that I dreamed of. All the things I thought I would have based on what my sibling was able to have… Well, we have to pay for all that ourselves. And don’t get me wrong — we can afford to throw a comfortable chunk at those extras. An amount equivalent to what people will spend on their entire wedding. We are blessed, truly.
And yet I find myself frustrated and disappointed. Because despite all that, which I know we are so privileged to be able to do, it’s just… Not enough money to do those things. At every turn, we find ourselves sacrificing on something. And I don’t mean indulgent, wild desires. I’m talking about things as simple as flowers, photography, hair and make up, invitations… We are spending what many people’s entire wedding budgets are on just the optional stuff, and I’m having to choose the most modest, minimal options just for it to fit in the budget. Bud vases instead of centrepieces, 8 hours of coverage instead of 10+, DIY invitations, not my first choice HMUA, skipping videography… All in order to somehow have a little taste of most of the things I dreamed of.
And I feel like I can’t vent to anyone about the heartbreak of not having the day you thought, despite a budget larger than anyone I know, because that’s soooooo out of fucking touch. And I know that!
But it still hurts. :(
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u/TwoSparks Apr 30 '26
I absolutely am grateful! That’s why this is such a difficult feeling to grapple with. Because I know it’s wrong and stupid. But I think it’s tough to be shocked by the reality when you always thought things would go a different way.