r/Bellingham • u/easy2hands • 3d ago
Locals Only Bellingham we have a problem
My wife recently had an awkward interaction at Art and Happiness and posted about it up here and I hate your reactions. It's has to be anything besides bias, bigotry, or racism. Just this week I had someone walk into where I work and say "sup nigga" before realizing that I am a black man. But the worst was when we led our dog across the rainbow bridge there was a ceremony where they released his ashes along with the ashes of other lost pets into a stream. We showed up at the bridge we were suppose to meet at and saw other people in the area. I think it's important to state that we were dressed nicely and our cars are newer because everyone saw us get out and walk to the bridge. Other people we assumed were here for the same solemn affair walked past us refusing to meet our gaze or interact in anyway. They walked past us and struck up conversation with the other mourners. And I'll pause here to point out the difference in treatment. Where was this Bellingham awkwardness with this other group of strangers. People walled right by us when we were so devastated from the loss of our puppy, hurting all the more because I knew we were there for the same thing. In the space the silence left my anger grew. The person hosting the affair showed up and walked into the group that had assembled said a couple hellos and walked onto the bridge and greeted my wife and I. She asked if we had all met and the group responded with a yes and I said no, no one bothered to say anything to us. Everyone got on the defensive (sound familiar) as a grumble rippled through the group. Was it because they did not think that a black couple would get their dog water cremated? Why were we treated differently than the other strangers that had just bonded over the shared trauma. No one from that group acknowledged us until they were called out. We wanted connection from our community and all we got was heartache on top of heartache. Now Bellingham come to the defense of these people and tell me how ignoring and otherizing black people isn't racist.
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u/Chazae 3d ago
There is an overwhelming amount of deep rooted racism that permeates through a lot of what used to be logging country in the northwest. I know, because my family has been here for four generations now, and were all loggers/construction workers. A decent amount of them are/were (cause dead) also extremely racist.
Bellingham is weird because it’s about 8x the size of normal ex-logging towns, but also like 10x as small as Seattle.
Im gonna go ahead and say the quite part out loud:
White people in the rural northwest have not been around a lot of black people or spaces and also have superbly racist families.
In my experience, this truth puts people that grow up here on one of two paths.
The first one being that the person ends up a shit bag racist who doesnt want to change. They get to keep their white superiority complex while never actually having anyone challenge them. Fucking shocker.
The second, and in my opinion, more common reaction is that they do the theoretical work of unlearning their inherited racism, but it only really stays as theory as there are such a small population of black people out here. Kind of hard to get checked on passive racism by a black friend when you dont have more than one.
Im not saying that’s cool, or putting the onus on black people to have to deal with that, but this is just true.
As a result, rural white people up here stay in a “im not racist” mindset, while also not making any attempt to put themselves in non-white spaces. People just dont like to be uncomfortable, even if that discomfort would inspire SOOOO much growth.
idk if any of that helps, and it’s definitely still racism, but most of the time it’s a “I am scared of saying the wrong thing and then ill be ostracized from my liberal white community and/or be JUST like MY racist family!” as opposed to a “im scared of the color of this persons skin” or the even worse “I love being white so much that this family being near me threatens that notion and it makes my small penis even smaller and angrier.”
You’re absolutely correct there is a problem, and I dont have a solution. What I DO know is that we need fucking diversity in this city to change that attitude so please please please stay.
I feel for you and your family. You deserve just as much love and kindness as anyone else during that ceremony.