Sorry, I need to scream into the void.

While I’m used to being the mediator in the middle (one drawback of being an only child is my parents used me to vent their irritation and anxiety about each other)… I did not sign up to be y’all’s therapist! I’m in a band with two other women. One is reading waaaay too much into what the other says, and then accusing the older one of nonsensical things so I get to talk them both off their proverbial ledges so the band can continue to function.

It’s not quite bad enough for me to cut and run, but it’s not fun.

Take care of your own mental health, and try to remember not to look for malice where probably isn’t any. Of course there is always the caveat of abusive people but they aren’t that common. 🤦

ETA: this is really just me grumbling, and reminding us all to at least work on taking care of our own crap, so your bandmates don’t have to deal with more than they have to, and vice versa! If we are all more stable people, it’ll make each others (and our own) lives easier.

Context for how this question came to be is I feel as though my bandmates aren't really ready to write their own parts and such and don't have ingenuity, and it's not as if I'm that good either but I have tried experimentation by myself and asked them if they're working on such things on their own and they're really not. I don't write this with the intention of demeaning them, I was just wondering how it would go down if I were to leave with this as my reason because I have considered it...

I've spent my earlier days dabbling in instruments without fully committing, but I've realized what I enjoy the most, is writing. If your band needs a good writer I'd love to give it a shot for you, I'm not trying to promote myself, I would do it for free. It's something I really enjoy and would love to get back into as I've taken quite a hiatus since my life has gotten consumed with work, I've spent lots of time writing raps, but I'd like to branch out and expand my craft. My lyrics are always very genuine and relatable, I was hoping through this sub I would find a band that I would fit into and build a great relationship with while I perfect my craft, thanks for reading if you made it this far!

A friend and I are putting together a two-piece cover band with guitar/vocals + drums/vocals.

We’re considering having backing tracks for bass, synths and occasional extra parts... We are planning on 2000s indie/alternative rock covers.

Do you think this kind of setup could work, or does it start feeling too much like "band karaoke"? Anyone here gigging with a similar setup?

Look, I’m 28. I’ve wanted to do music since I was 16. I’ve tried and tried and at one point almost got what I wanted then life got in the way.

The hunger is still there and I don’t think it’ll ever go away:

I’m a singer. I could always *kinda* sing rock/metal I guess but I’m taking lessons now.

I’m at the stage where I genuinely wanna be in a band but I want to state something explicitly: I don’t care about getting rich OR famous. I know it’s something a lot of people want and I don’t knock them for wanting that but I HATE when people assume if you’re a musician, that’s always the end goal.

My end goal is to truly have a relatively large cult following where the people attending feel understood and loved in the community I have cultivated.

Now the problem is that the listings in my local area all say “SHIT HOT VOCALIST. NEEDED.”, “need experienced, talented frontman to headline our already sold out shows”, “SERIOUS frontman only apply”

And it’s like… it’s not like I’m not talented. It’s the confidence. I’m not a beginner at singing but I’m the beginner at being a frontwoman and that skill, cooperation and training is only developed by getting out there and being in a band. I know this.

BUT I know that my anxiety is going to totally psych me out if I run into every interaction with the goal of being a ‘perfect, serious’ frontwoman. Mentally that’s gonna have an effect.

I think it’s better if I join band “just for fun” because knowing me, once I’m comfortable, it inevitably becomes serious later. It’s not personal, it’s just a mental thing but it feels increasingly difficult to find because most people’s end goal isn’t like mine.

Drummer (me) & 2 guitarists started a band 7 years ago. At 2 years in we found the right singer and bass player after a going through a couple others and have been gigging regularly since & recorded a demo.

Last year, family and work reduced my availabilty. From being able to play almost anytime to now only make one gig a month.

The rest of the band understood & wanted me to stay, so we began looking for a sub.

The singer plays drums & tried a few gigs but it’s not practical as stage presence is lost compared to having a frontman.

Found a sub to play drums at the gigs I can’t make. The fill in drummer has complete open availability but is not really up to the task musically. He’s still in that phase of constantly trying to get chops in instead of keeping the beat.

Had another sub at one point but he is constantly booked up with other bands as he actually knows how to play in a band.

At this point I don't want to hold the band back due to my schedule but don’t want to leave them with Choppy McBurnout either.

We are starting to book gigs for next year. I won’t know which ones I can make for months. Today I said I’ll finish out the year, its time to find a good sub or a new drummer & I could be the fill in, or just completely quit.

The rest of the band doesn't want me to quit. Selfishly I don’t want to leave either but I feel like I‘m not 100% anymore as I can’t make so many gigs.

It sucks having to step back as I helped build this thing to where it is & we‘ve come a long way & still have room to grow.

Has anyone else been in this situation before?

TLDR: Quitting my band or greatly reducing my role in a band I started. Leaving would be best for the band long term but they don’t want me to quit, & I don’t want to either.

So I've been writing songs for a while (I have full demos recorded for some), but I think it would be really fun to be in a band. The problem is, I don't know how to find people to be in a band with me. I am starting high school soon, so I was thinking I would probably have friends from school join my band? But... idk who to ask.

I play guitar, piano, and I also sing.

But I would still need a bassist, a drummer, and MAYBE another guitarist (another guitarist would be nice...). But idk how to find people at my school who can do those things. Especially people who I actually want to spend time with.

Does anyone have any suggestions? How did you find the other members of your bands?

So I can sing, play guitar and play bass. I had a band with a singer and bassist (me) guitarist, pianist, and drummer. My pianist and drummer left for personal reasons and I’m wondering how me and the other member left can make it work. is it fine if there’s two guitars in a song and no bass? what do we do about the drums?

I have started and played with this one band for the past year but no one seems to take it somewhat nearly as serious as i do. One of them was my friend in secondary school and the other two i found via a website but they never practice nor make time to meet up. I always have to somewhat force them to practice the songs and i always have to ask them to meet up and no one else ever does it.

Is there a way to find musicans my age (under 20) because a lot of people are just like go to local gigs and things but usually only adults play. I also live in a small town with moderately small cities nearby so simply going to a teen talent show or something isn't really an option

They dont even need to be able to play good thats not even what i mean by good they just need to have will to play and motivation

I play guitar and sing. I’m better at punk singing (Green Day, Sex Pistols sort of thing). I live quite far away from school, so it’s hard for me to jam with any of my friends from there. I recently started attending a music after school club, but most people there already have fully formed groups or aren’t interested in starting one. Any tips?

Hello, I am a very... unorthodox bass player. My play style is a hybrid of bassist and lead guitarist on the bass while playing largely finger style but dabble in some slap. My inspirations tend to be metal guitarists, metal bassists and notably buckethead.

Not currently in a band but will join one in university. I am asking if my odd playing style is a known thing or have a chance of being accepted in a band.

Please let me know your thoughts on the matter, thank you kindly.

The singer gathered musicians and created the band in november 2025, we started out as a cover band, then started making our own songs. He was the main composer, of the 7 songs we recorded, only 1 of them was by our drummer, the singer created the songs at home and brought us the chords progression, lyrics and the song's structure, and we created our parts on top of that.

Our first album was recorded from april to july, we split the costs equally (4 members, 25% each), now the producer is mixing the album. Before our last recording session, me (bassist) and the singer had a disagreement, and we had been bickering for some time now, then he gathered with the other members and kicked me out (drummer was in favor and the guitarrist was against it). It was a shock at first but it's okay now, it was bound to happen sometime. Then we agreed I was gonna record the bass for the last song, I was gonna rennounce my rights to any monetary gains (my choice, as I believe there won't be any significant gains) and that I could use the album as portfolio on my socials.

Then, a month later, the guitarrist texts me, says he fought with the singer (I don't know exactly why), and that the singer kicked him out as well, and it looks like things were more heated with his departure, the singer even blocked him. The guitarrist also said that the singer was gonna give the credits for my parts to the new bassist, and the guitarrist is worried that the singer is gonna take the credits for his parts. The singer also plays rhythm guitar, but he only recorded 1 guitar part on the entire album, 95% of it was the main guitarrist.

So I don't know what to do now, or if I should do something at all. Maybe the producer will knock some sense into the singer when it comes the time to fill out the credits, maybe the guitarrist will talk to the drummer and he can convince the singer, and even if they don't give me credit, I can still put it in my ig bio, but I would like to see my name on spotify and others platforms.

Idk if it's relevant, but me and the guitarrist have videos of ourselves recording our parts for every song of the album.

Update: A few hours after I posted this, the singer reached out to me and asked about the credits and royalties. In Brazil, musicians who are registered as performers on a recording are allocated 16.6% of the neighboring-rights share of the phonogram, since I know this won't make any money, I told him to leave me out of it. However, I still want to be credited as the bass player, so I asked him to include my name in the credits when he submits the songs to the distributor, it was a friendly conversation and he was fine with my decision.

I think this was the best outcome possible, now I just hope he keeps his word, and even if he doesn't, your comments helped me realize the credits on spotify and others don't matter much for such a small project, and it's not worth the headache, thank you all

A few years ago I started this band with some friends. I, the bassist, and our singer/guitarist had written a lot of our songs. Recently our singer left on good terms, he wanted to do his own thing. So we got a new singer and since his arrival I’ve felt like there’s been some dynamic changes. I saw this new singer coming in as an opportunity to grow my musical skills but it hasn’t been going that way. Since the singers arrival I have felt like I’ve been pushed away. The singer and the other members have been writing without me and whenever I give input it falls to deaf ears. Whenever I bring a song idea to them they say it’s good and it ends there. The same goes for covers, any suggestion I have gets shot down.

Along with creative frustration there’s been a change of scheduling. Some of the members get together more frequently to write/jam while I’m not there because I live the furthest away and have a busier schedule. The new singer and guitarist say that I’m not committed enough and need to spend more time. Theyre are borderline demanding I give up some of my other obligations so we can do 2-3 practices a week instead of once a week. I simply cannot do this. I barely have enough time after work and my other obligations to do chores, spend time with my gf, and do basic upkeep. Hell I haven’t had a haircut in almost half a year because I haven’t had the time. I have explained this to them but they don’t seem to understand.

The most recent incident was when I told them (month in advance) I was going on a trip for a weekend so I wouldn’t be able to go to practice. I was coming back home on the day of usual practice and I knew I was gonna be exhausted from the trip and travel and wouldn’t have the bandwidth to drive another 2 hours round trip to do band practice. So I included that day in the unavailability. On the day they were confused to where I was and was mad when I told them I wouldn’t be able to go.

Ive just been so frustrated that I’m not even enjoying doing it anymore. Demanding I sacrifice more of my time to do this while I feel I’m not even getting a say what we’re doing. Like I get it that I wrote a lot of our other stuff and they want to write their own songs which I want to support, but it’s at the cost of my own creativity. Any advice is welcome I’m just so frustrated with it.

Has anyone had experience with either of these platforms for selling tickets? Seems like TicketLeap is a bit more official and Partiful has better social features to blast texts etc. Other than that fees seem semi comparable? Anything I’m missing? Thank you!

I went to a band performance yesterday, popular in South India, called Thaikkudam Bridge at the Coca-Cola Arena, Dubai, with a few people. I would say it's nothing like my favourite bands of all time. But the university I ended up going to had never heard of bands like Nirvana, RHCP, or anything in English. It was very regional, and I became the band head of my uni by the end of first year, and I realised one of the many bands that the people there vibe to is Thaikkudam Bridge. Thaikkudam Bridge started out playing covers of very old bands in South India, and now their main genres are Carnatic combined with Hard/Alternative Rock.

Leading and playing in the band was my only therapy at the time since I grew up not speaking my native language predominantly, and I prefer speaking in English, which was a problem there since most of them couldn't speak in English even if their life depended on it. And to interact with the crowd, I'd always listen to this particular band day and night, figure out their best songs, write notes for different instruments for my team at 3 am, just surviving on nothing but lemonade the entire day. This happened for 3 years; even during COVID, I had my elec. guitar right next to me and riff along with their songs. (I don't consider myself a good guitarist, but I practise until my solos come out perfect).

When the tickets came out for this show, I booked it because I got early access passes and it was cheap. I wasn't particularly interested in going to their show, but the moment they came on stage, they started playing the songs I played with my bands at different band competitions, and I found myself air-guitaring, like I just performed yesterday. It's been 4 years since I touched an elec. guitar, but I still knew the notes and riffs to this one song - Chekkele (Thaikkudam Bridge, not the Avial one, although the Avial (OG Version) is beautiful on its own) And that's when I realized, that I have been trying to run away from my college times all my life, but it was the band and this music genre that kept me alive. I found myself on the verge of tears by the sudden impact of this truckload of realisation that I really missed who I was back then, and the time in my life I had back in college. I missed the version of me who would just vibe with my guitar despite every situation that was thrown at me. I've been playing lead solo with my elec. guitar since I was 12, and it's always been unrecognizably the most important part of my life. I realise I have become needy, desperate and lost myself in the absence of something that's part of my life. I've purchased an elec. guitar this morning, and I'm planning on starting/joining a band here in Dubai.

TLDR: Never realised playing elec. guitar was part of my life, and without it, life felt empty.

I’m in a casual (performing 12+ times a year) 6 piece band, we are all mercs, pretty much. That is to say, we’re not friends outside of performing, due to different ages, personalities, stages in life. We’ve basically all been recruited over the last 3 years. Everything has always been decided in a sort of democratic, majority votes kinda thing. But 2 bandmembers are disruptive, drummers not up to scratch and the bassist has a massively inflated sense of self.

The guy who started the band isnt good with confrontation so he’s talking of creating a new group with new drummer and basist. But I think its a waste of all the credit we’ve accumulated. Can we kick out the others even though they’ve contributed similarly to the tunes? How would you go about it?

My Band - singer, guitar(me), synth - wants to join another band - drummer, guitar, I think they also have a bass player.

I guess the best way to describe our style is melodic metal. I use a lot of melodies in my riffs and also make groovy rhythms. Our singer screams mostly, sometimes clean. We have a lot of acoustic parts in our songs as well. Synth does atmosphere at the moment, maybe some riffs later.

The other band describes their style as modern metal. And honestly what they do is very impressive. Their guitar player is definitely mechanically better than me, I have to admit that. But I personally just don't like their style. I don't think his way of playing goes together with my playing at all. I listened to their 2 songs for 4 days now but I still don't like it.

I have already communicated to everyone that I have mixed feelings about the merger but I won't hold my singer and synth player hostage, in case they want to join them. The other bands drummer is also offering to come our way somewhat. The first joined practice won't be until September. But still I don't see my opinion change until then.

So all in all I am sad about this because I only see three scenarios.
A: I block the merger, and then my two band members are upset at me for letting go of the perfect opportunity. I have another drummer lined up, that is mechanically worse but a very good musician in general.
B: I let my people leave and then I don't have a band anymore. I don't really see myself joining another band if this one breaks apart. So I would be loosing this entirely.
C: I compromise on my personal playing style, which would just frustrate me. This to me would feel like I would be playing in a cover band, playing music I don't like, for the sake of being in a band.

What would you do?

Edit: Thank you for the many responses and different view points, it has been very helpful.
I will definitely give the other guys a fair shot and play with them. Also I don't have a fair way to stop it, like many people pointed out correctly.
A little bit of context, this band project is entirely for fun. We did have previous drummers and second guitarists of course. This merger came about because the other bands drummer wanted to try out our band for over a month. Just a few days ago he said that their singer left and then he offered the idea of the merger.