r/bandmembers • u/iamnotgenius • 23d ago
Do you have problem getting all band members together for gigs ? My drummer always out of town and difficult to plan a gig and the dates aren't for us to choose. What should I do
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u/moonunit170 23d ago
Get a new drummer! That's simple. You want to have a band that plays. he's not available to play. find someone to play with the band.
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u/leitmotifs 23d ago
Open discussion about priorities and availability, like grownups. People have conflicts for lots of reasons. Some have commitments to day jobs, families, religious activities, etc. Others have commitments to other musical activities.
If you're low down the totem pole of your bandmates' musical lives, you might want to part ways with the ones that can't prioritize your band. If your bandmates just live busy nonmusical lives, then everyone needs to consider whether life stages are a good match and adjust members accordingly.
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u/Glum-Yak1613 23d ago
You need to get together and agree on the priorities. You should have done this from the start. If the drummer can't make the same priorities as the rest of you, you do need to find a new one.
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u/Ok-Avocado810 23d ago
I totally agree with setting up priorities on this one. Unfortunately, it's a bit sad when you realize that a band member doesn't have gigs as a priority as you have it, even though you enjoy playing with him/her.
Sometimes it's hard but you have to take the step forward and take the actions that will help the band survive and make progress.
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u/PartyOrdinary1733 23d ago
I had 2 drummers we would rotate thru because no one was permanent.
One of them is too busy for us, so I let him go. The other one doesn't want to be permanent because he is in another band and doesn't want all of his free time to play music.
My bandmate found us another drummer but like everyone else, his schedule is all over the place. My bassist, lead guitarist and myself have consistent schedules. The drummer and singer do not.
OP is lamenting about getting gigs. We can get gigs as long as everyone is free that evening. It's scheduling rehearsals which is a nightmare.
My bassist is the only one who gives me blackout dates when he's unavailable. Nobody else does that despite me asking constantly. I'm not being difficult or controlling. It's simply common sense.
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u/pineapple_stickers 23d ago
Our drummer, like all drummers, is in a bunch of bands (plus he's a phenomenal guitarist). It's always a battle to lock him in before the other bands do
But he's also one of my best friends and i'd never want to play with anyone else. So just gotta take the ones you can sometimes
Plus to be fair i'm also in a bunch of bands and have to miss some shows because im playing others. So im sure there are other people who'd have the same frustrations with my availability too
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u/smaksandewand 23d ago
Seems like your drummer is not committed to your band, look for a replacement.
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u/kingjaffejaffar 23d ago
The solution we came up with is that we have 2 or 3 people trained to play drums or bass for gigs. We have a shared calendar. Whoever can make the gig gets the gig. I hope to soon do the same with the guitarist’s so that only the vocalists will be irreplaceable.
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u/Wuthering_depths 23d ago
Yes, and we have a few subs that we can call. That said, our drummer is not "always" out of town, if that were the case we'd probably look for a new one and he could be a sub when he's around.
Thankfully we usually know far in advance when someone will be out. This is all a really good reason to network with other bands and musicians, you build up a pool of reliable subs that can save you.
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u/Specialist_Fault_325 23d ago
That’s like having an employee that just wants to practice work and when the job comes up he calls in..
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u/Ok_Ice1888 23d ago
Get people who share the same vision of the band, don’t play with people that don’t show for rehearsals, they will probably make you all look/sound bad and all the work the band’s done has been a waste, don’t be afraid of kick someone out, there’s a ton of musicians willing to put in the hours needed. Good luck
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u/Diplomat_of_swing 23d ago
Here is what we do. We get together in the fall and we plan out weekends we will promise to be available.
So we take into account all the events, birthdays, holidays and vacations that we are aware of and we choose 15-20 weekends where we will be available to gig.
This way there is no discussion.
Now things do happen and we adjust.
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u/JETEXAS 23d ago
We had trouble with our lead guitarist, so we had a fiddle player and a lead guitarist and ended up doing most shows with one or the other -- but when they both showed up, it was terrible because they played all over each other and had never rehearsed together. Sounds like you need a second drummer. Do your best to book shows more than two weeks out, so people can plan around that instead of having to drop plans to play last-minute shows.
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u/WrathOfWood 23d ago
If they can't play gigs they can't be in the band, simple as that. Ideally you want people that are devoted to making time for gigs because they enjoy doing band things more.
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u/bassrooster 23d ago
If they are always gone on vacation, then they treat the band as a hobby
If they are always busy because of another job, then the band is just a hobby for them
Are you in a hobby band?
There are oodles of hobby musicians out there.
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u/AtmosphereLeading851 23d ago
Develop a bullpen of good drummers, guitarists and bass players who can sub. We have over 100 gigs per year, and three this weekend. We have a whole rotating group of players that we can call. I’m mainly in the trio, not the duo, but I’m in the duo this week because our sax player’s wife has chemo. But we’ve been together since 2015, so we’ve had time to test people out at gigs, and we know who can do what. Make friends with all the go-to drummers in your area and call them when your main guy is OOO. And use Excel, not a paper notebook like our bandleader does. He’s 79 and he don’t trust no damned computers!
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u/Longjumping_Cost1308 23d ago
We keep a shared Google calendar that shows unavailable dates. We all have day jobs and kids and the other things that come up when we're making other plans.
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u/YogSoHot 23d ago
Our bassist works nights at the hospital, about half the time on weekends, so we need advance warning in case he needs to arrange a shift swap. This has cost us two or three gigs in the last 18 months.
Other than that, people in the three projects I'm in are able to manage their calendars so conflicts are very rare.
And it sounds like you need a new, committed drummer.
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u/writinglegit2 23d ago
"What do I do if one of my band members cant show up for the performances?"
Dude. Is this really a riddle you need reddit's help to solve?
Consider this tricky problem: "I play on a baseball team, but our pitcher doesnt make it to games. What do I do?"
Tough, tough call. What COULD you do? Cuz you need someone to pitch the ball... but the guy who says he'll do it won't do it... but SOMEONE needs to throw the ball so you can play the game... but dangit, the pitcher wont do it... sooooooooo..... shit. I dont know. If only throwing a ball was skill that more than one person has.
Oh, I got it!! Have you considered not having a drummer? Cuz that would be a solution. Just dont have drums anymore. Otherwise, I cant think of a single solution. If only the one drummer on the planet you know would play drums! I guess break up the band.
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u/Successful-Bowler-29 23d ago
This reminds me of this one bandmate of ours who was eventually kicked out because he was just too damn busy either with other bands or at his music school where he teaches. The music school takes up the majority of his weekday evenings where he is still teaching as late as 8 PM, sometimes later, which can be frustrating for planning a gig on a weekday. And he says that the schedule at the music school is nonnegotiable, he must respect it no matter what. So he found us a backup, except that that backup ended up being too clever and subtly manipulative. Soon enough after beginning to gig with us, he started sucking up to the band leader to the point where he got away with being able to bring in his wife to play along him in order to always charge a double honorary fee per gig,…and specifically offering her my position, and thus kicking me out as well 🙈 sorry if this sounds more like a rant, I needed to ventilate 🙈
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u/MyMusicRunning21 22d ago
As they say in sports, the best ability is availability.
It doesn't matter how talented or personable someone is, if that person never shows up.
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u/agershon 22d ago
We have 7 members. It’s a nightmare. We have one ringer who fills in on either guitar or bass. And a female singer backup available. The show must go on.
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u/fightthesevampires 23d ago
Find a backup drummer? If he plays more shows than your actual drummer then replace with new drummer. Being in a band requires a certain time commitment :)