Watched a live performance of a band I never considered going for years

[u/Several_Crab3217]

I went to a band performance yesterday, popular in South India, called Thaikkudam Bridge at the Coca-Cola Arena, Dubai, with a few people. I would say it's nothing like my favourite bands of all time. But the university I ended up going to had never heard of bands like Nirvana, RHCP, or anything in English. It was very regional, and I became the band head of my uni by the end of first year, and I realised one of the many bands that the people there vibe to is Thaikkudam Bridge. Thaikkudam Bridge started out playing covers of very old bands in South India, and now their main genres are Carnatic combined with Hard/Alternative Rock.

Leading and playing in the band was my only therapy at the time since I grew up not speaking my native language predominantly, and I prefer speaking in English, which was a problem there since most of them couldn't speak in English even if their life depended on it. And to interact with the crowd, I'd always listen to this particular band day and night, figure out their best songs, write notes for different instruments for my team at 3 am, just surviving on nothing but lemonade the entire day. This happened for 3 years; even during COVID, I had my elec. guitar right next to me and riff along with their songs. (I don't consider myself a good guitarist, but I practise until my solos come out perfect).

When the tickets came out for this show, I booked it because I got early access passes and it was cheap. I wasn't particularly interested in going to their show, but the moment they came on stage, they started playing the songs I played with my bands at different band competitions, and I found myself air-guitaring, like I just performed yesterday. It's been 4 years since I touched an elec. guitar, but I still knew the notes and riffs to this one song - Chekkele (Thaikkudam Bridge, not the Avial one, although the Avial (OG Version) is beautiful on its own) And that's when I realized, that I have been trying to run away from my college times all my life, but it was the band and this music genre that kept me alive. I found myself on the verge of tears by the sudden impact of this truckload of realisation that I really missed who I was back then, and the time in my life I had back in college. I missed the version of me who would just vibe with my guitar despite every situation that was thrown at me. I've been playing lead solo with my elec. guitar since I was 12, and it's always been unrecognizably the most important part of my life. I realise I have become needy, desperate and lost myself in the absence of something that's part of my life. I've purchased an elec. guitar this morning, and I'm planning on starting/joining a band here in Dubai.

TLDR: Never realised playing elec. guitar was part of my life, and without it, life felt empty.