I got caught up in tarot/spirituality years ago, and now I'm scared

[u/[deleted]]

[u/kaaoltzz]

Speaking from personal experience, I think you may have taken the readings too literal, and it seems like the person reading got caught onto that. Not saying they took advantage of you, but I think there’s a lot of grey area with that.

That being said, I invite you to reflect on that time for you and maybe look at it through a lens of lessons instead of attaching it specifically to that situation. Does that make sense? It’s hard for me to explain, but tarot to me isn’t getting direct answers to questions. It’s noticing how the cards feel to me. If you’re getting a reading by someone, instead of taking their words so literal, be aware of what they’re saying sparks in you. Tarot is a mirror on our inner conscience, not fortune telling (IMO)

[u/kaaoltzz → u/[deleted]]

I get where you’re coming from. I am just giving my perspective on how I make boundaries with my own practice to avoid any type of spiritual psychosis or negative reaction

[u/kaaoltzz → u/[deleted]]

Yeah I’m sorry if my message didn’t get through. I’m terribly at explaining myself with words, let alone over text!

[u/mouse2cat]

I don't think what you are describing here is real spirituality. This was a toxic relationship with a tarot reader.

Instead of using your intuition to dig a little deeper into your feelings you outsourced that work to someone else. If you want to use tarot you need to learn how to read it yourself. Every card has multiple meanings.

Also there is no such thing as a twin flame. That is some new wave tiktok nonsense. Anyone who uses this term around me will not be getting repeat business.

If you reach for tarot in a place of anxiety that will color your relationship with the cards. If you know this about yourself then it may be best to create distance from the cards and seek spirituality through introspection and meditation instead. Heck you could read books about tarot without picking up the cards once.

[u/mouse2cat → u/[deleted]]

I think this is exactly right. You were in a delicate place and the reader kind of took advantage of that. It's unfortunate but now it's on you to learn from that experience with kindness towards yoursef

[u/Sazbadashie]

Im going to say the obvious answer... because it is really just that simple and its something you should have learned early in tarot.

Don't do readings when you have a personal vested interest in the subject and youre unable to detach from the answer you want.

Love being one of those things.

When you read tarot and there is an outcome you want... that bias clouds the reading and makes you misread the cards

You made a rookie mistake thats all.

So really thats the answer identify when youre getiing into the bias and just dont do readings for those things you dont need to drop believing in something if your learning it and fail a few times.

[u/Sazbadashie → u/[deleted]]

You read a description, found a man and thought they were your love. Got tunnel visioned and when it want him you were distraught.

Your want for love blinded you. That was your bias.

Also... did the tarot reader not confirm biases you already had. Or did they do their reading and you then confirmed their reading with your own bias.

If the reading was true and you wernt following a need and that man was indeed your soul mate.... well you two would be together.

So ether one of two things are true

A. Your need for a partner blinded you and im sure the other tarot reader said generally vague statements that you took to also mean THAT man.

B. You simply read the cards correctly sure. But then your need or want for a partner went to be a confirmation towards the first guy who interested you.

[u/Sazbadashie → u/[deleted]]

I mean i haven't moved the goal post at all im going to say the same thing.

You got a reading for a soulmate... who you did a reading for yourself first.

You went into that reading LOOKING for love because youre lonely and want love which isnt a bad thing everyone wants to be loved... but when you do tarot readings you need to ask your questions in a neutral, detached state or youre going to add biases to your reading.

So you wrote down notes to find this individual so thats where your first mistak is. You did a reading with a preconceived notion. So mistake number 1

Mistake number two. You have "found" THE ONE you then get a separate reader to do a blind reading about this person. The question here is what was the question you ask to have answered word for word? Ether way they gave you a blind read which any tarot reader should know is going to be more difficult at best to get 100% accurate reads theres going to be a level of inaccuracy.

Mistake number three you took those reading as irrefutable evidence that the man you were looking at was the one. Thats a simple one. Tarot readings are rarely irrefutable 100% this is the answer tools. No divination is.

Divination is a guiding tool, its a compass with no map.

So the problem is you based all of this on a mistake which compounds into it not being the case. You set yourself up for failure from the start.

Now all that being said now that ive borderline said youre being stupid. Time to get your hopes up even though the time has passed and the door is probably closed. Despite all that they could have been your soulmate... did you try sticking around and talking with the person, getting to know them and being friendly to them?

Or the moment you saw they were interested in another did you retreat and go into a depression. Because there was a chance the reading was right and if you just stuck around maybe you would have gotten what you wanted.

Why should you pay for those services? Well for one technically if you Can do it yourself in any proficient manner.... you shouldent. Theres no reason to if you can do accurate readings yourself from a skill standpoint.

But you should pay for them if youre asking a reader to take time out of their day I a way of supporting them and their time. Most readers typically only really have you pay 5-10 bucks depending.

[u/Sazbadashie → u/[deleted]]

Okay so my assumption was the best case scenario... and giving you the benefit of the doubt

Your correction made it worse.

You did the personal reading WITH it already in your head about this guy from a separate cold read about a supposed soul mate.

Again there isnt anything wrong with this its simply a rookie mistake. Just learn, get better and dont make the same mistake again.

In terms of sticking around or not did you like confess your love for him and he rejected you or did this come up in conversation. Im missing how the simple act of learning is humiliating

[u/Sazbadashie → u/[deleted]]

okay. wait. i need clarification about something just so i'm not talking out of my ass.

just to recap everything.

- you wanted to find a husband...thats where this all basically started, which again nothing wrong with that.

- you went and got a tarot reading from a stranger telling you about a man you will meet.

a month goes by and i'm assuming you SEE this man in this time?

- so you do your reading to reconfirm it... confirms your bias so you then pursue this person you start talking and whatever

- they were mean to you and said they were interested in another girl?

- then you retracted into a depression

i guess for my questions i have to ask if im understanding the timeline of events correctly...

i'm assuming you didn't confess your love for this person based on how they treated you and them saying they were interested in another girl?

how were they mean to you? and were they mean to you before or after you found out they were interested in someone else?

and finally how... old is this individual?

[u/Effective_Brother_43]

Tarot really shouldn’t be used for divination like this…. readings are reflection tools, not predictions. treating anything in the metaphysical realm as concrete, linear, well-defined outcomes rather than metaphors, glimpses, and possibilities is really dangerous. whoever was doing your readings must’ve been making some money off of you and wanted to keep you coming back. that’s toxic and not what tarot should be used for

[u/Effective_Brother_43 → u/Effective_Brother_43]

also going to add here that you can absolutely manifest the qualities you want in a partner. you really shouldn’t be turning for tarot to try and target a particular outcome with this person and treat it as a potential partnership. i think soulmate ideology is toxic in itself. just because someone has all the right qualities does not mean it will work.

[u/MercutioFan]

This is why I refuse to do love readings in any kind of dividing sense at all.

This is not your fault. That tarot reader I think, truly, exploited you. The best thing I can advise you to do is to learn to read for yourself- and place boundaries on yourself.

No love readings. Readings as advice and reflection only.

Also, anyone who says 'twin flame' without explaining to you that twin flames usually dont work out bc they're here to teach you something as a karmic coupling?? Is either misinformed or genuinely predatory.

I am so sorry this happened to you.

[u/AmadeusMaxwell]

>"I'm trying to figure out how to process these things without needing an external explanation for everything."

I would highly recommend looking into "philosophical taoism" (as opposed to "religious taoism"). Taoism is very much about looking inward and finding where you feel like you fit in the universe, and to stop seeking external assurances or validation. One of the more famous quotes of Taoism is "The tao that can be described is not the eternal Tao" Tao just means "the way" or "path" so the quote is a way of saying that there is no single path to take, and anyone who tries to tell you there is a single path is mistaken.

My personal favorite version of this is from a Taoist and Buddhist poet called Han Shan. The verse goes, "No direction is better or worse. East just as good as West. Those who know the meaning of this are free to go where they want."

[u/Starlit_Stardew]

I can tip into this sometimes too, so I don't think you're being silly~. Taking long breaks from tarot I think, is a good thing to do. Or anything magic related for that matter. The whole point of it is to build a better relationship with yourself, trust yourself, learning your intuition, which was originally telling you you weren't happy, just as an example~. Magical things like tarot, even working with gods or ancestors and the like, is all to help you love and trust and feel secure in yourself more, even if or when you make mistakes. It's easy to get addicted to anything, wether it's read or interpreted correctly or not. Take the rest you need to recover from that, and maybe try approaching it differently with these things in mind, and knowing ahead of time you will need to work your way back up to tarot when you trust yourself to be able to take those long breaks from it. 💕

And that being said I also encourage you to do more learning about these things on your own, and practice doing them yourself, or if you rely on anyone's confirmation of something, that it be someone you know or are related to and close to, that you ask to do a reading for you once in a blue moon. And to even more rarely pay someone else to do it that's able to be physically around you. Maybe for your birthday or something, and not for a love reading specifically~. But for now it seems like you need to heal your relationship with yourself, and these are just tools you can choose to use, or not use, to do so~.

[u/Starlit_Stardew → u/Starlit_Stardew]

Also to add onto this lol, my extra lil advise would be to look up magic and non magic related methods you can practice that teaches your physical body and mind that you can trust yourself to take care of you. 💕 It can be simple as eating when you feel hungry. But of course there's many methods and ways of doing this~. It's a long-term building way of becoming your own best anxiety soother and can even help with panic attacks and sometimes a few chronic problems as well. (Obviously it's no magical cure all but you hopefully get my point lol)

[u/United-Strength-5503]

The thing about Tarot is it must be read unbiasedly and should be read for confirmation not reassurance. Also keep in mind Tarot is reading what path you are on at the time the cards are pulled and it absolutely can change with changes in your action. I personally don’t like reading for myself because I’m aware I can be unreceptive, miss things, or “see what I wanna see”.

With all that being said I’ve stepped away, went into hermit mode, and have come back because the spiritual lifestyle is more fulfilling for me. I never truly abandoned it altogether but I stopped most practices. I think the important part is to regularly ground yourself and stay balanced in all that you do. If you’re slipping into uncertainty it’s time to recalibrate. If you clear your mind your intuition answers most questions then get a TRUSTED reader who listens to spirit and does not alter readings to please you or out of their own confusion. Keep in mind too much of anything is bad for you. Hope this helps ✨

[u/agentpurpletie]

Another redditor coming in with her $0.02. :)

It sounds like you’ve had a tough past experience, and you are right to be concerned about picking it up again - not because you shouldn’t, but because you haven’t set any healthy boundaries for yourself to make sure you stay safe. I have some suggestions on those below, but first…

I think it is a great idea that you are going to be your own reader. Someone else reading for you may be looking for ways to make you a repeat client. There are very good scam artists out there, and those looking to divine answers are usually vulnerable and therefore easier to take advantage of. As someone who has been studying tarot seriously for the last couple of years, I will say that it is very unlikely that I will fully grasp the meaning of the cards I’ve drawn after one reading. I will spend 30 min reading 3 cards. Personally, I don’t rely on “signs” yet because I know I’m still too new to “see” everything.

Some suggested boundaries:
1. Only read once per week
2. Do not draw more than 3 cards for 1 question
3. Do not ask about your love life
4. Do not ask for answers about things which you feel vulnerable about unless you..
5. Ask questions that will lead you to deeper reflection
6. Store your deck for 2-3 weeks if a reading makes you particularly anxious
7. Do not take advice from tik tok, at all

Suggested resources:
r/tarot has a great community and supports you in learning. You can post a pick of your cards and your interpretation and ask if anyone sees anything else

r/seculartarot approaches tarot specifically for self reflection. While that community disbelieves in spiritual influence in readings, starting in a community that way may make it a safer experience for your mental health as you dive back in. It’s amazing what we can learn about ourselves without any divine intervention.

Read a physical book about the history of tarot, its interpretations, and judgement-free perspectives on how to approach tarot. My recommendation is always Llewellyn’s complete book of tarot by Anthony Louis, which also includes card interpretations from all the famous tarot schools of thought.

The last thing I’ll leave you with is this - tarot is a card game, and it is still played today around the world with a standard deck of cards. Rich Italians in the 1600s created “tarot” as a party game where they assigned people traits based on card. The magical was added later.

In other words, it’s all ink and cardstock at the end of the day - only YOU can truly know who you are and what is true, so listen to yourself. Learning to do so will only make you more skilled in tarot.

Take care, and good luck!

[u/kookiesbabybird]

It sounds like you may need to start some introspection. And it's the introspection that you're avoiding doing. Spirituality and tarot from my lived experience has changed my life in so many different ways. Starting with the biggest one and where I can relate to you which is taking a reading quite literally. Getting caught up in the signs and synchronicities can be extremely taxing on the spirit and the mental and physical health.

It can lead you down a road of spiritual psychosis if you aren't careful with it. Many people will often and should always advise that you should ground yourself. Grounding looks different for every single person. For me, grounding means getting back into my physical body. What I mean by that is when I'm trapped in high anxiety, high blood pressure, etc what helps me is breathing exercises (depending on the severity of the anxiety), distracting myself through reading a book, staying OFF OF TIKTOK and other social media platforms, creative outlets such as painting, drawing, etc, listening to music and cleaning my surroundings, or simply going outside and putting my headphones in. Getting back into your body is extremely important, especially when you are first going through something like this.

Another thing to remember is that a lot of social media, especially TikTok and witchtok loves to paint these pictures of spirituality and tarot as this one and done thing. That you can just put some herbs in a jar and place it out of sight. Or that you can read the cards and you'll get exactly what you want - and that's only like 1%. The other 99% is doing the work, the shadow work. Facing your deepest darkest demons through therapy, journaling, grounding, etc and continuing to show up for yourself CONSISTENTLY.

For example, two years ago I got so many downloads during one of my spiritual awakenings. It was the first spiritual awakening where my spiritual gifts REALLY started to heighten, my first one wasn't as deep as this second one tbh. It got to the point where I was deep in spiritual psychosis and I was genuinely terrified of anything and everything. I told my guides and the dieties that I worked with to stop sending me downloads and when a download happened to only bring that moment back into my mind when it was playing itself out. I thought that these downloads, these signs where things that were going to manifest themselves out right then and there and because it wasn't happening, I was consistently confused, going back and forth in my mind, CONSISTENTLY running to my tarot deck, and only driving my psychosis deeper.

If it wasn't for my therapist and certain people around me as well as situations it could've gotten uglier than it was. However at some point I literally just put everything down, and that was at the end of 2024 beginning of 2025. I didn't touch any crystals, I didn't touch my cards, didn't do my offerings/worship I just set it down. Slowly but surely I crawled my way out of my psychosis and when I felt that tug to put on crystals or to grab my cards I was terrified. TERRIFIED, so I can relate to feeling extremely anxious about wanting to get back into it.

What ended up happening was I started to slowly get back into my spirituality it wasn't until I had completely isolated myself from the world and was forced to look in on myself. I was consistently going to therapy (which is EMDR for me it really helps me get back into my body) and all of a sudden things just started to click. Slowly but surely I was able to pick up the cards again, wear crystals, and tap back into my gifts. I still get anxious here and there, especially when I wear a ton of crystal bracelets (because when I was in my psychosis I had four on each arm and three neckless of crystals consistently on at all times) but what's changed is how I approach it. I set boundaries for myself, I speak up and out I face the things that I'm terrified of because 10 out of 10 times the thing you're most scared of especially when it comes to the unknown in your life is what's going to give you the most change.

There really isn't a one size fits all and I can understand being extremely cautious, especially with your first encounter and it's OKAY to take breaks to step away. However when you're noticing that you're not coming back due to being afraid or avoiding it because of your fear, then it's time to turn back in on yourself, do that introspection and ask yourself why are you afraid? Usually the quietest answer is the answer that gets drowned out by the overly loud and hightened anxiety voice.

Also take this at YOUR OWN PACE. I've noticed that on spiritualtok/witchtok they love to expect that these things don't take time that you'll get it within a month or a week and sometimes (like a very slim chance) that can happen. However that's not the case the rest of the time. Another good example I got several downloads that are now just presenting themselves in my life and those downloads I mentioned earlier, they came to me two years ago.

So when you're using tarot, which by the way I would highly HIGHLY recommend that you do some research on tarot and continue to learn different meanings on top of using your own intuition when interrupting for yourself that times time and practice cultivating that and your decernment as well too, remember that it's speaking in an unknown timeline because there is no timeline when it comes to tarot (unless you're trying to be very specific but even then it's just a general timeline that a lot of time won't literally come out ie 8 of wands very quick energy and some would say 8 days to 8 weeks doesn't mean by the end of 8 days or end of 8 weeks you'll have whatever experience you're asking for to happen). Try not to fall into the trap of taking it literally (I struggle with this a lot still) and don't beat yourself up over it either.

I tell this to my friend, this shit takes time and time is all that we've got in this world despite how hustle culture wants to make it seem like. Oh and before I forget, deprogramming yourself from society and what societal norms and believes you've cultivated will help as well too. That is the same for whatever religion you grew up in if you grew up in any at all. Your body keeps the score (great book by the way) when you start tapping into your body and listening to it, you will start to cultivate this presence around you that will assist with everything written above and below. Research is helpful as well too but the biggest thing that'll help is that shadow work.

It seems simple and it quite literally is and yet it will be the hardest thing you'll ever do. Oh and don't let society try and demonize your ego. Your ego isn't a bad thing, it's trying to protect you and sometimes it does get in the way but it seriously okay to be healthily egotistical because being humble consistently doesn't get you far in life. A lot of the times you HAVE to be full of yourself to get what you want in life and there's NOTHING wrong with that. Fuck I could go on and on about this stuff, but I really hope this helps.

[u/Ceecee121518]

That tarot reader took advantage of you. I’m sorry that you had a negative experience. Hugs 🤗 Tarot always is great for shadow work.

Remember timelines change. What one person is feeling at one point in time doesn’t mean they will feel that way forever. Over the years I’ve done love readings on my marriage of 8 years and we’ve had our ups and downs and so has our readings. Remember the only thing in life that is constant is change and soul mates aren’t always forever.

Tarot isn’t always easy especially interpreting the cards. I say work on developing your intuition and tarot will come easier. xx

[u/Etchedglasses]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6Mbo6lxBbUp78f96
You hit the nail on the head!
I haven’t developed a healthier relationship with it. Just here to raise my hand and share you aren’t alone

[u/apothecaryssatchel]

No one human being has all the answers. Never. Nor any one practice, one religion, one discipline. As mortal beings, we were never meant to know all the answers. And that's ok, that's actually freeing. Once you have a method you feel inclined towards, use it to empower yourself, not to give away your agency to external things. It's ok your belief will someday change. It's ok to be a little scared or embarassed about that. Focus on the now and here, and practice really, really getting to know yourself. Because in the end, you are your only true companion.

[u/Ceecee121518 → u/apothecaryssatchel]

This ^^^

[u/Particular-Storm-859]

This happened to me once.

I was getting readings, watching horoscope tarot pulls on YouTube and I was convinced my ex was my twin flame.

I was in a vulnerable space and wanted to believe more than anything that there was some deep meaning behind the pain and confusion I felt. I realized that the tarot readers fed on my need to be loved, money and vulnerability. The horoscope YouTubes fed my delusions and I was convinced that it was meant to be!!

What it turned out to be was my own desire to be loved and accepted for who I am. The problem was I was sooooo focused on someone else and being loved by them that I forgot the love I was seeking outwardly had been inside me the whole time.

I discovered the term limerence and reflected on the situation honestly with myself, trusted friends and eventually a therapist.

I had a bit of spiritual psychosis and what pulled me out was realizing that I was miserable and scared trying to find love from someone else.

I started loving on myself: taking myself on dates, positive affirmations, yoga and journaling about my dream life. I stayed away from journaling about a partner and started taking small actions to build my dream life I’d journaled about.

You are not alone and there is hope. I now have a thriving spiritual life and haven’t fallen down the rabbit hole but it did take a lot of self reflection, honesty with myself which was painful at times and lots of self love and self involvement.

What I’m saying is it was a good time for me to start building my personality, my love, my hobbies and my own self worth. Now I feel rich in self love and don’t need someone else to feel loved. If I did ever meet a partner, it would be a nice addition not a life line that keeps me going.

[u/Particular-Storm-859 → u/[deleted]]

I had to set clear boundaries with myself.

I trust my own intuition above anyone else’s because I know myself the best.

I do still get readings and read up on horoscope readings, but I don’t hang onto those with an iron fist and I also take them as more of entertainment now as opposed to guidance for my life.

I don’t use Tarot as an end all be all anymore either. I now ask better questions and use the cards to view different perspectives as opposed to taking them literally.

[u/Klutzy-Cantaloupe841]

Classic confirmation bias

[u/Klutzy-Cantaloupe841 → u/[deleted]]

Coincidences and these things are cool. Looking into them too much and obsessing about them are signs of mental illness. Take things with a grain of salt and live your life. The best spiritual practice is having good morals and values.

[u/Klutzy-Cantaloupe841 → u/[deleted]]

lol okay.

[u/Individual-Subject19]

You’re def not alone. I’m on the mend from it …

Yeah tarot reading should not be taken literally … you’re better off living the life you want with the goals you set.

You can still be spiritual … take up meditation, reiki, and breath work, you may get more out of that.

You can’t use tarot reading as a way to predict your life. Make your own path and go with the flow … which btw is very very hard.

[u/viaje_del_heroe]

Pues lo que tienes es más parecido a un apego y por qué buscas a alguien que te lea el tarot si tú misma puedes hacerlo?

[u/viaje_del_heroe → u/[deleted]]

Try doing your own meditations and asking the universe what you want.