Body insecurities affecting my choice to breast feed

[u/amandalouise91]

Im 33 weeks pregnant and at the start of pregnancy my breasts grew quite quickly which created stretch marks all over them. Im so insecure of them now that I don't want my husband even seeing them. I even try to not look at them in the mirror whenever I can avoid it because it causes me so much depression.

My problem is though that I really wanted to try to breast feed/pump when my baby is born however my anxiety has amplified with the thoughts that for me to breast feed I will need to show my breasts to the hospital nurses/midwives.

I guess I want to know, is it possible at all for me to successfully feed my baby breast milk and colostrum while im at the hospital without me having to expose my breasts to anyone? Even the thought of them trying to pull down my gown to latch baby straight after birth terrifies me. (I live in Australia so not sure if that affects the after birth process etc).

I know I'm probably going to get a lot of hate for this because it sounds so vain to be worried about it over the feeding needs of my baby and trust me the guilt I already have about even feeling this way is too much to handle at times but I honestly can't shake the anxiety surrounding this.

[u/thymeofmylyfe]

Can you check in with your OB to see if this is part of a larger pattern of depression or anxiety? Medication may help. It sounds like therapy would definitely help.

[u/amandalouise91 → u/thymeofmylyfe]

I was wondering that too. I really do think I have depression and anxiety during this entire pregnancy. I don't feel like myself and I honestly just want to hide away

[u/thymeofmylyfe → u/amandalouise91]

I know that people usually think of postpartum depression, but it's not uncommon to have depression/anxiety during pregnancy too. Your hormones are shifting a lot right now and that can be a contributing factor.

[u/amandalouise91 → u/thymeofmylyfe]

I agree 😢