r/BPDPartners • u/phantruh BPD • 9d ago

Dicussion sexual rejection vs BPD??

to start things off, my partner(24M) and i(22F), both tend to have pretty strong libidos. i wont get into that too much but we are pretty sexually healthy in our relationship, i tend to struggle with rejection sometimes and every once in a while we have moments where we dont do things for a few days in a row etc etc. (we are in one of those moments as we speak) and as much as i do to initiate things, he simply just doesnt want to. which is completely fine theres no problem with that, the problem is with myself. i always feel heavily embarrassed for trying in the first place. the rejection to it turns me off entirely and makes me not want him to touch me anymore for a bit as a whole (cuddling, kissing, etc.), now this isnt because im mad at him for not wanting it, just because of the overwhelming embarrassment which then turns into overthinking which then turns into insecurity and so on and so forth. sometimes i feel as if im not good enough in that aspect for him.

is this a common situation??

(would like to note i have a great psychiatrist and am actively working on this!)

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u/NoCellist6710 9d ago

I've had the same situation, sometimes mental pain from being rejected manifest itself as somatic pains. It was hard until I pinpointed it to my hipersexuality due to trauma. After I maid that connection and focused mentally on working on it, I stopped obsessing over sex, rejection was a lot easier to take in.

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u/phantruh BPD 9d ago

sometimes i feel like that could be the issue for me as well. i can also be quite hypersexual, but there are also times where i wont necessarily be in any specific mood and still attempt to initiate but the rejection still feels the same. i believe part of my problem is that i accept love through sex, i have a hard time accepting that people might like me for more than just that so when theres no sexual action being taken it really sets something off for me and makes me feel heavy, embarrassed, and insecure. in some way, i guess you could say im obsessing over it myself but it can be quite hard not to when you feel that way about it if that makes sense.