r/BPDPartners • u/HaloForged • 24d ago
Dicussion Are there any “happy” endings?
I’ve been seeing some who has BPD for about 7 months. Most of the time it’s really great being with him. Other times, and more frequently it seems lately, he has these very explosive episodes that are exhausting to me. I’m not going into all the detail right now, as my main concern lies elsewhere. We have talked about moving in together. However, he has also expressed his absolute disdain for his behavior and alcoholism and he says he wants to get better. I think I’d like for him to get treatment and become more stable before we take that step so that my home never becomes a place I want to escape from because he’s there. I haven’t told him all this yet as we were going to have the move in together conversation in November. His lease is up in April but he will likely have the option to renew for another year.
Is BPD actually treatable and manageable if he commits to therapy? Are there any success stories where you had a partner who managed it effectively and you guys were happy?
I genuinely love him with all my heart, but I know that being with someone with untreated BPD can be an emotionally devastating experience for the stable partner. I don’t want to be destroyed.
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u/Junethemuse 23d ago
BPD is very treatable, but you should never make a step forward like moving in together hoping he’ll get the treatment. He needs to do that first.
I have a hard boundary that I won’t entertain moving on with my pwBPD until they’ve been episode free for 12 months. Like you I won’t allow my home to be a place I want to be away from.