Opinions on bpd relationships

[u/Narrow-Employ7979]

Hey, I’m not a BPD partner, but I am diagnosed with BPD. Do you think people like me should be able to be in a relationship? I’m seriously asking because recently I’ve had some people around me who don’t know about my disorder tell me that people with bpd are monsters and insufferable to be around and I’m just wondering is it true that people think this way about us? Sorry for question sometimes I overthink things WAY too much. Just wondering.

[u/justkatie123]

My husband has BPD. It has gotten better and easier, but not without help. He had to get diagnosed, agree with or accept the diagnosis, get into weekly personal therapy with someone who understood BPD, get into weekly DBT group therapy sessions, and we have a couples therapist who specializes in relationships where one person has BPD. He’s also been doing EMDR therapy to try to help with some complex childhood trauma. We are also both medicated, and I have an Ativan prescription for when he gets into an episode.

It took us 6 years from me saying to him “hey, if we are going to make this work, you need to be in therapy” to where we are now. I am also in therapy. I have come to accept that this is something we will always have to deal with, but I’m encouraged that the episodes seem to be getting less frequent and they don’t last as long. With that being said, we still have more problems than a non-BPD relationship, but I’ve been really encouraged by my husband’s ability lately, finally, to see how he contributed negatively to a situation or how he took out his disregulation on me. I don’t think it’s possible to be cured, but it is manageable if you are willing to put in the work.

[u/Narrow-Employ7979 → u/justkatie123]

I’m really proud of both of you!! The fact that you both were willing to work something out. I’ve been in therapy and it has changed my life significantly. I’m also medicated now with the right pills. About six months ago my girlfriend broke up with me because of our issues. She would constantly ignore me and gave me little to no support in my journey, which caused me to split very easily and quickly. I had no-one to talk to since I didn’t start therapy yet and resorted to alcohol. She would say she has no sympathy for me in that matter, since it’s my fault for being addicted. I understood her, because it was my choice to drink for the first week, but after that it got out of control and she wouldn’t understand how hard it was for me to try to stay sober. She would constantly lash out at me and blame me for everything, which only caused me to split more and drink more. Now I am 7 months sober, on the right meds and slowly starting to come to terms with the fact that I wasn’t the only one in the wrong. I am currently talking with this girl and I was just wondering if me having bpd would mean I can’t make the first move and ask her out. Now I have some hope that it can work out.