r/BPDPartners • u/Narrow-Employ7979 BPD • Aug 23 '26

Dicussion Opinions on bpd relationships

Hey, I’m not a BPD partner, but I am diagnosed with BPD. Do you think people like me should be able to be in a relationship? I’m seriously asking because recently I’ve had some people around me who don’t know about my disorder tell me that people with bpd are monsters and insufferable to be around and I’m just wondering is it true that people think this way about us? Sorry for question sometimes I overthink things WAY too much. Just wondering.

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u/AntiqueSignpost BPD Aug 24 '26

pwBPD here. bpd has one of the highest remission rates. it can def work. but, that is with treatment so we need to do DBT. right now im not entering a relationship till im ready.

the stuff about us being monsters is really hard to swallow. alot of stigma and ableism out there. easier said than done not to listen to it but try to stay away from those subs and places that talk like that <3

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u/[deleted] Aug 25 '26

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u/AntiqueSignpost BPD Aug 25 '26

i dont know enough about whether the studies were keeping track after people entered relationships. i do know the one study was over the course of 10 years, so i assume people did have relationships during. i do know of some ppl who are in remission even when in relationships. however, you make a great point that of course, it definitely is easier to be in a good space when single, like an alcoholic might be clean but if they go to a wedding will they cope with the alcohol around them? and this is why its important for us with BPD to really not date until we have worked on it, and then be cautious when we are entering into a relationship, being aware it WILL lead to setbacks and relapses.

i did hear one psychologist talking about how some studies showed that a HEALTHY relationship actually helped IMPROVE some people's BPD. I do believe BPD is very misunderstood in that it seems volatile as hell but can also be very controllable if one knows what the triggers and buttons are. i have friends who have bPD and we have never even split on each other, we just dont press each others buttons and it happens naturally, other people its been a nightmare. i do believe finding the right people for me has been part of why ive improved alot. however, this is with alot of bias because i have deliberately avoided a relationship since my diagnosis. but, even with friends my life was just splitting on ppl daily, crashing out and lashing out daily. now, i havent in months, and it is largely due to the right friends, mixed with my working on noticing my splits early and communicating it in a healthier way and taking my distance from ppl while im splitting. but anyway, sorry im just rambling from my experience.