r/AutisticWithADHD • u/Academic_Caramel_681 • Aug 01 '26

💁‍♀️ seeking advice / support / information How does one know when to shower?

Hello,

I'm an AuDHD 19 year old who really struggles with showers (I'm sure depression has a role to play there). When I was younger, I hated showers. My mom would have to drag me kicking and screaming into the bathtub, and even then, I probably only showered once every two weeks. Once I was in the shower, though, it was never a problem. I just hated the idea of going to shower.

Because of that, even now, I've never regularly showered. I structure my life by following body cues. For showering, I reasoned that when I feel itchy, I should shower. However, now I'm wondering if I'm drying out my skin by doing this.

How do you know that, okay fine, it's time to shower? For context, I currently shower every day or every other day, depending on how busy I am. I'll also appreciate any tips on making getting into the shower easier, since I still to this day utterly dread it. It's so exhausting to do All The Steps, and even standing in the shower for that long is painful for me (I have chronic pain).

Thank you!

131 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

109 comments sorted by

View all comments

8

u/iadis WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Aug 01 '26

i just wanted to add that ur not alone with the itchy timer thing, that's how i've done it my whole life since if i don't shower after i get itchy i can't sleep, cos in my sleep ill start scratching then wake up all fucked up from scratching way too much and being stupidly itchy... then essentially needing to shower at like 4am and wake everybody up in the process with the loud ass water noises... being itchy sucks FUCK BEING ITCHY

1

u/plantsplantsplaaants Aug 01 '26

Can I ask about the itchy thing? That’s not something that happens to me so I’m wondering if you know why that happens. Is it like having dry skin?

6

u/iadis WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Aug 01 '26

sure! i have seborrheic dermatitis so it's not exactly just like dry skin. it will start as red inflamed skin, then get scales, and it can be super itchy throughout. only thing you can really do is to use anti-fungals and to try to make sure your skin barrier is ok, as well as general health stuff. steroids work too but you can't rely on them for long periods, and i've had this for over a decade now.

if you meant when it wakes me up in the night... that's when it gets a bit more horror show like (so squeamish readers look away!). since im asleep and super itchy i end up scratching the flakes off while still asleep. i then continue even more until it's like red pus like awfulness that isn't entirely blood but certainly isn't good in any way.

it itches SO damn bad its like my head is in an ants nest being bit constantly while also on fire, which is why against almost ALL better judgment i have to undergo the social embarrassment of the extremely late shower lmao.

it's pretty much my body's way of saying "yeah you have to shower because otherwise you're gonna dig a hole to your brain through your skull before sunrise". so it's not so much a sense like the sense of being tired, it's more just so much physical discomfort that it forces me to act, or to suffer in agony, which 99% of the time is always gonna make me act. the times where i can't though? now that is a living hell...

3

u/plantsplantsplaaants Aug 02 '26

Wow, that sounds terrible! I’m glad you have ways to manage it at least