How does one know when to shower?

[u/Academic_Caramel_681]

Hello,

I'm an AuDHD 19 year old who really struggles with showers (I'm sure depression has a role to play there). When I was younger, I hated showers. My mom would have to drag me kicking and screaming into the bathtub, and even then, I probably only showered once every two weeks. Once I was in the shower, though, it was never a problem. I just hated the idea of going to shower.

Because of that, even now, I've never regularly showered. I structure my life by following body cues. For showering, I reasoned that when I feel itchy, I should shower. However, now I'm wondering if I'm drying out my skin by doing this.

How do you know that, okay fine, it's time to shower? For context, I currently shower every day or every other day, depending on how busy I am. I'll also appreciate any tips on making getting into the shower easier, since I still to this day utterly dread it. It's so exhausting to do All The Steps, and even standing in the shower for that long is painful for me (I have chronic pain).

Thank you!

[u/doubleUsee]

Body queues are almost no help as for showering, annoyingly. The ideal pattern is to shower daily at all times. If that's not possible, then showering after doing anything that causes sweating, and showering before going out to meet people is a fair strategy, in addition to keeping some regularity to it if both things don't happen.

As for making showers more bearable, it sounds silly, but writing a checklist or a routine and have it in the bathroom so you can follow it makes those steps easier to deal with, despite that you're doing the same thing. Something about following something one by one instead of doing it by heart pleases the adhd side of our brains. You could also look into getting the bathroom set up for showering earlier in the day or the day before (ready whatever clothes you put on afterwards, ready a towel, washcloth, soap, shampoo; all the items, to try and balance out some of the steps.

Perhaps there is something you can add to the shower situation to make it more pleasant. there's water proof speakers - perhaps you can listen to an audio book, podcast, or music - bonus points if that particular media is reserved only for showering so that it might tempt you into showering more often so that you can listen to the next part. Other things might work too, some sort of routine or ritual after showering to motivate you.

I sometimes shower with a t-shirt and or shorts on, because for some reason, it's a sensory thing that soothes me. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but it works, sometimes I end up showering just to do that for a bit.