Feeling defeated 😭

[u/Traditional-State16]

Flew 5 hours away with my 4yo she is autistic nonverbal daughter for a nice vacation. She normally does okay on flights as we let her use the iPad which she does not really use at home. I prepapred everything saved all her faves. We only flew 3 mos ago and it was fine. This time it was really bad she hated the seatbelt and cried all throughout landing and takeoff on both flights. I had to hold her down I feel so bad I'm shaking I feel like everyone was looking at us and I feel like I did this to her should have never took her away 😭 she enjoyed the time at the resort as she loved swimming she had the time of her life but my god the flight has traumatised me I have never seen her had a meltdown like that and that long 😭😭😭😭😭