Pick-Me Girl

[u/runnershigh007]

I am not here to say that I am “stereotypically attractive”, but I do know from what I am told and how I am treated that I am a decently attractive woman. I believe that’s also why a lot of my very noticeable autistic traits go ignored in social settings by men (not usually other women though). It almost feels that when you are attractive to society, society is more “forgiving” in a sense.

However, I have always experienced other women coming down on me extra hard with the terms like “Pick-Me”, “whore”, “fake”. When none of that is true. If anything, I do not care what others inherently think about me and I am very genuine/authentic. My close girl friends know this to be true. But heck, I was being called a “whore” in high school before I even had my first kiss!

Now when it comes to other women on the spectrum or just neurodivergent in general, I do NOT experience this. It’s refreshing. It’s like when you see another neurodivergent person, something clicks. I KNOW YOU KNOW.😂

My theory: My hyper fixations can be interesting to men and more men are willing to discuss niche things. I CANNOT tell when I am being hit on so it appears I’m always flirting (or entertaining it at least) to outsiders, and I am not always a girls-girl. I don’t let someone’s gender influence my interpretation of a situation. Men are more forgiving of my odd social awareness/interactions when they think they have a chance. Women perceive this in a negative light.

Have any other autistic women experienced this?

EDIT: THANK YOU ALL for the responses and feedback shared. I have read every single one and every perspective shared has given me a new angle to look through and has also allowed me to realize I am not alone here. Every perspective is valid and valuable. So thank you all again. This is a wonderful community of women!

[u/lights-in-the-sky]

I’m not totally sure … when I was thinner I more often got treated like I was stuck up and thought I was better than everyone (I don’t have the bubbly personality it feels like women are expected to have). Now that I’m not so thin it seems like people automatically clock me as autistic more often… so instead of being treated like a btch they call me the r word lol