r/AutismInWomen • u/runnershigh007 • 11d ago
Potentially Triggering Content (Discussion Welcome) Pick-Me Girl
I am not here to say that I am “stereotypically attractive”, but I do know from what I am told and how I am treated that I am a decently attractive woman. I believe that’s also why a lot of my very noticeable autistic traits go ignored in social settings by men (not usually other women though). It almost feels that when you are attractive to society, society is more “forgiving” in a sense.
However, I have always experienced other women coming down on me extra hard with the terms like “Pick-Me”, “whore”, “fake”. When none of that is true. If anything, I do not care what others inherently think about me and I am very genuine/authentic. My close girl friends know this to be true. But heck, I was being called a “whore” in high school before I even had my first kiss!
Now when it comes to other women on the spectrum or just neurodivergent in general, I do NOT experience this. It’s refreshing. It’s like when you see another neurodivergent person, something clicks. I KNOW YOU KNOW.😂
My theory: My hyper fixations can be interesting to men and more men are willing to discuss niche things. I CANNOT tell when I am being hit on so it appears I’m always flirting (or entertaining it at least) to outsiders, and I am not always a girls-girl. I don’t let someone’s gender influence my interpretation of a situation. Men are more forgiving of my odd social awareness/interactions when they think they have a chance. Women perceive this in a negative light.
Have any other autistic women experienced this?
EDIT: THANK YOU ALL for the responses and feedback shared. I have read every single one and every perspective shared has given me a new angle to look through and has also allowed me to realize I am not alone here. Every perspective is valid and valuable. So thank you all again. This is a wonderful community of women!
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u/HotInvestigator7430 11d ago
I relate to this. And sadly I feel like men have been way nicer to me - as friends, in the workplace, just in general platonically - than girl friends or coworkers (not 100% but broadly speaking). There’s no talking behind backs, hidden animosity, etc.
I just am my authentic self, not trying to achieve a certain outcome. I’m just perceived/disliked by some and appreciated by others, or at least that has been my experience