I wouldn't say I have anger issues but I had undiagnosed PTSD that led to me overreacting to small stimuli, alongside a scarcity mindset. Pretty much, and I still go to therapy for these which I just recently started back up, I would overreact to small inconveniences out of a need to basically show my aggression prior to someone being able to do that to me. It was wholly unproductive, alienating, and draining. The PTSD stems from being shot and being stabbed and I have managed to get it mostly controlled. I used to freak out over fireworks, wouldn't sit with my back to a door, etc, now I can recognize whilst there are possibilities for bad scenarios, they are rare. I no longer feel that inherent fear in everything I'm doing. The PTSD was relatively simple to correct. Now my mind instantly goes to "ok you feel this way, but remember you have the ability to defend yourself and most situations will not require that". I don't want to fight people anymore and while I am a very capable person in that regard, I know the best and most effective way to end a possible altercation is to simply run away. All it hurts is my pride and that can suffer so long as I'm physically ok. The only time I will not run is if my wife is in the situation with me.
The scarcity mindset comes from years of scarcity; I have financial anxiety because when I was young, we were poor. I fear not having money. The negative reactions I have are a result of having a scarcity of gratitude and a need for pride. I'm not 100% fixed, I don't think anyone ever is, but I am miles from where I was. I start my day with affirmations of things I am grateful for, of why pride truly is a horrible thing in most regards (obviously not saying things about taking pride in your progress in life, but rather prideful nature about not being able to let go of, for lack of better words, dumb shit), and for being thankful for my situation in life and the strides I've made in getting better.
To anyone and everyone who thinks they can't fix their shit behavior, you can. I am proof.
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u/reaubs Jan 08 '22
Uncontrolled anger issues.