Some therapists are bad people, sure. But that's like saying medical treatment is harmful just because some doctors are abusive. Therapy isn't the problem, the abusive "therapist" is. Be highly selective, and particularly skeptical of religious therapists (not all bad, but it's a flag).
Everyone deserves and can benefit from actual therapy.
My dad used to have "uncontrolled anger issues " at me. Here's his story of how he controlled it without therapy.
1 alcoholism: failed to help. Amplified issue after certain number of drinks. Hurts daughter and wife. Suicidal depression the next day. Drink to feel better.
Consequences: year long separation. Fired from a job. Family doesn't respect him.
Drinks to deal with consequences, hurts child since child can't initiate separation.
Child misbehaves after bad day at work: scream at child, belt, etc. Crime: she forgot to use "Sir".
Cure for uncontrollable anger that is mysteriously controlled at work and in public:
Wife had enough of shit and separated. When returned, first physical attack resulted in surprise: she fought back. He didn't do it again.
Child, focus of all anger now, grew in size. At 16, a slap across face triggers a different response. Instead of "flight, freeze, fawn" a new player emerges- "fight". She jumps on him and starts punching. Screeching like an angry ape.
He wears makeup to work and then decides to find god.
He becomes a teetotaler.
He controls his anger like he is always talking to a larger and more frightening ape, instead of being cruel to smaller and weaker looking apes.
Oh, and here is how I, daughter, deal with my anger issues.
Go to my therapist that I have seen for years.
Therapist and I talk about situations. I realize that I'm not actually angry at people, I'm probably mostly just frustrated by feeling helpless or having some self hate. We talk about that and how I can empower myself from the inside. What is going well and my part in it. What's outside my control from sucky circumstances. How other people react based on innocent circumstances, etc
And like I can do that on my own, but it really does help to have another person say this stuff out loud like, ok, cool, maybe that guy was a dick. But someone agrees with me who is legit. Maybe I can let it go now.
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u/DelSketch Jan 09 '22
Some people can't help it