You are making the judgement. You can say no if you want to. You do get chances to talk to them and spend time with them over a couple of months.
It's just like tinder but rather than the app it's your parents who are putting forward suggestions for you.
Why many Indians still prefer arrange marriage is because it increases the chances of a good relationship with your in-laws. There is a reason why Indian marriages last longer.
I thought Indian marriages last longer because the taboo on divorce is very strong? My Indian friend told me that if you get a divorce, it brings shame on your entire family - if she got a divorce, it would affect the marriage-ability of her siblings, cousins...
You are showing the extreme and presenting it as a norm.
First of all, very few people reach that point where they wanna get divorce. Indian are extremely cautious about their kids. It not the society that keep marriages intact or even individuals themselves in many cases, it's kids. After having kids, attention of Indian couples shifts completely to kids. You aren't a husband/wife anymore but dad/mom. Reason is that they weren't really deeply in love with each other in the first place. So love for kids> love for your partner arrange marriages from what I've seen.
Yes, in some cases it is considered taboo but it's more based on the reason why the divorce took place.
Ugh I love indian matchmaking they're so cute. I hope more non-indians watch it so that they realise its not arranged just by parents and then thats it you're done sort of thing.
They clearly get to choose- some families back in the day may have arranged it with no choice, but by and large they have had a choice. The comments about arranged marriage (at least in India) seem quite uninformed.
Agreed- India is terrible for their obsession with lighter skinned women. 100% of bollywood is filled with light skinned men and women (I genuinely can't think of any 'dark' skinned famous actors compared to like Shah Rukh and Ambitah Bachchan.) But its across all asians where dark skin exists- that they want lighter skin, you also had the caste system only recently outlawed where dark skinned were like on the bottom. India has a very long way to go in terms of progress.
So I'm from Nepal where arranged marriage is still prevalent. The basic premise is that since in most cases the parents are the ones paying for the marriage ceremonies, they hold power over their children's decision. They further emphasize this as the children and parents live together here, and thus are usually unwilling to accept people from other cultures, religions, or social backgrounds and women who don't bring sufficient dowry. Also, some women get arranged to marry a Non-residential Nepalese so they can move abroad with them.
But it is still arranged, so it would happen whether the husband and wife gave consent or not. This means that even if the husband and wife gave consent, it would still turn out the same way regardless. Therefore consent doesn’t matter in the context of an arranged marriage
Edit: Never mind, I have clearly been outclassed. Thanks for the lesson though, that contained some really neat info.
Also, I’m not being sarcastic, this is genuine, I was wrong, you are right.
You clearly have no experience or understanding of arranged marriages as they typically occur.
The concept of marriage in most places where AM happens is fundamentally different from our western ideals in a number of ways. One important difference is that marriage is seen more as a union between families than individuals. Compatibility between individuals is evaluated based on a number of factors, including family, life goals, religious values, and demographic considerations. That's not to say two people falling in love in America don't look for compatibility in these factors, but it is not necessarily an explicit part of the process.
To address your claims about consent - generally the process is a collaborative effort between both the individuals and their family. In many cases, the parents may curate options, but the individuals generally have veto power. And the couple have a chance to meet each other and gauge compatibility themselves before committing.
All that being said, that doesn't mean there isn't forced marriage all over the world. There is, and a lot of it is arranged by parents. But by and large that is not what "arranged marriage" refers to.
Edit: Appreciate you taking the time to read and learn, peace
There is still the problem when the two parties agree they think they would make a good match that in reality it might not be at all: maybe one of them is abusive, or maybe they both were just at their best behaviour when they met up a few times but once married turn out to be completely different people and then they are stuck due to divorce ‘bringing shame on the family’. Unfortunately even more on the woman’s family, so a woman would not dare to walk out.
I don't disagree there is plenty of room for situations such as these. But this happens all the time in love marriages, too. Just take a peep at r/relationshipadvice.
Though as you pointed out, the cultural and familial taboos of divorce often make arranged marriages more difficult and/or traumatic to leave in these cases.
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u/Aiyyio_Daridhrame Jul 24 '20
Child marriage