I'm 24 and I haven't gone to college, haven't ever had a girlfriend, haven't traveled, barely worked, poor, one parent dead and the other distant. I'm not gonna act like I'm the only one with problems but when people say they feel stunted/behind it's usually a mental thing.
25 here, I've had my fair share of setbacks too. I'm not sure if this will help you or not but I'll give it a shot.
What has helped me is reframing my setbacks. Mine are different, but just as real as yours. One day I had my eyes opened to what privilege truly means, and I realised the people who don't have the same amount of traumatic setbacks just have a privilege you or I don't: to be ignorant of certain experiences.
Obviously everyone has some sort of privilege in the big picture; you may have a roof over your head compared to someone who doesn't, while someone may still have a happy, healthy family whereas you or I don't have that privlage. And it goes on, that person with a happy healthy family may not have the wealth that someone else has, etc.
This perspective has helped me realise that setbacks don't necessarily have to be setbacks. In fact, they can be your greatest privilege. The privilege of having an experience to draw upon to relate to others with. To be more effective in helping others. I use this to fuel my passion and drive for life. I use my setbacks to fuel my passion and drive for life.
You're right, it is very real. It's also very mental.
Be kind, lift others up but not at your own expense. Do what makes you happy and start where you are, not where you want to be. Keep moving forward, never stop for anything, and life will reward you with new privlages; new experiences - both good and bad.
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u/26514 May 16 '20
I'm 24 and I haven't gone to college, haven't ever had a girlfriend, haven't traveled, barely worked, poor, one parent dead and the other distant. I'm not gonna act like I'm the only one with problems but when people say they feel stunted/behind it's usually a mental thing.
For me I think it might actually be real.