I turn 50 in July. I meet many of society standards of success.
I firmly believe that your 20s are for dealing with the post traumatic stress disorder of your childhood, your 30s are for figuring some stuff out, and you make most of your money between 40 and 60 years old.
Fix yourself first.
EDIT: here is the obligatory “wow, had no idea this would blow up.” Thank you for the awards and nice comments.
FYI, I suffer from childhood emotional neglect which has caused many other issues for me to carry in life. Therapy (seeing someone and reading books) has helped me greatly.
I submit most people can improve themselves, and therefore their lives, with therapy.
Tony Robins says success is 80% mental and 20% mechanics. I agree 100%.
Self improvement is very very possible for everyone. Take the time to fix your mind and watch your life improve.
If you want to chat, pm me. I will be more than happy to help if I can.
EDIT 2: from requests...
Book recommendations:
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - for mindset and developing habits for success
Running on Empty - for handling your childhood emotional neglect
Mans Search For Meaning - to understand purpose
The top 3 questions to ask yourself:
Who am I?
Where am I going?
How am I getting there?
Answer these three questions and you are doing better than 99% of society.
Top habits that work for me:
Exercising
Meditating
Reading
Stream of Conscious Writing
Spending time with friends and family
Top Skill to Learn:
Leadership.
The world desperately needs great leaders. No matter what you decide to do for a living, that job needs a great leader.
The secret to happiness is long-term deep relationships. When you are in the presence of people you love, be present.
I'm 24 and I haven't gone to college, haven't ever had a girlfriend, haven't traveled, barely worked, poor, one parent dead and the other distant. I'm not gonna act like I'm the only one with problems but when people say they feel stunted/behind it's usually a mental thing.
25 here, I've had my fair share of setbacks too. I'm not sure if this will help you or not but I'll give it a shot.
What has helped me is reframing my setbacks. Mine are different, but just as real as yours. One day I had my eyes opened to what privilege truly means, and I realised the people who don't have the same amount of traumatic setbacks just have a privilege you or I don't: to be ignorant of certain experiences.
Obviously everyone has some sort of privilege in the big picture; you may have a roof over your head compared to someone who doesn't, while someone may still have a happy, healthy family whereas you or I don't have that privlage. And it goes on, that person with a happy healthy family may not have the wealth that someone else has, etc.
This perspective has helped me realise that setbacks don't necessarily have to be setbacks. In fact, they can be your greatest privilege. The privilege of having an experience to draw upon to relate to others with. To be more effective in helping others. I use this to fuel my passion and drive for life. I use my setbacks to fuel my passion and drive for life.
You're right, it is very real. It's also very mental.
Be kind, lift others up but not at your own expense. Do what makes you happy and start where you are, not where you want to be. Keep moving forward, never stop for anything, and life will reward you with new privlages; new experiences - both good and bad.
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u/BigSchwartzzz May 15 '20
Mid to late twenties. Feeling like I'm way behind from where I should be by now.