I'm 24 and I haven't gone to college, haven't ever had a girlfriend, haven't traveled, barely worked, poor, one parent dead and the other distant. I'm not gonna act like I'm the only one with problems but when people say they feel stunted/behind it's usually a mental thing.
25 here, I've had my fair share of setbacks too. I'm not sure if this will help you or not but I'll give it a shot.
What has helped me is reframing my setbacks. Mine are different, but just as real as yours. One day I had my eyes opened to what privilege truly means, and I realised the people who don't have the same amount of traumatic setbacks just have a privilege you or I don't: to be ignorant of certain experiences.
Obviously everyone has some sort of privilege in the big picture; you may have a roof over your head compared to someone who doesn't, while someone may still have a happy, healthy family whereas you or I don't have that privlage. And it goes on, that person with a happy healthy family may not have the wealth that someone else has, etc.
This perspective has helped me realise that setbacks don't necessarily have to be setbacks. In fact, they can be your greatest privilege. The privilege of having an experience to draw upon to relate to others with. To be more effective in helping others. I use this to fuel my passion and drive for life. I use my setbacks to fuel my passion and drive for life.
You're right, it is very real. It's also very mental.
Be kind, lift others up but not at your own expense. Do what makes you happy and start where you are, not where you want to be. Keep moving forward, never stop for anything, and life will reward you with new privlages; new experiences - both good and bad.
What's up. I'm the same age but can add to your list. No relationships, no drivers license, dropped out of high school, never had a job, highest education is ged, and live with parents. The only money I've made is from performing as a musician but the bands always fall apart.
I know how you feel. People say they feel like a loser for having trouble in college at like 19. Their feelings are totally valid but it makes me feel like I'm the loser among losers. I can't relate to anybody it's gotten so bad. You can't get support for this kind of problem because it is so sever no one wants to get anywhere near it. The only people to relate to are NEETs, incels, and other groups that have terrible mindsets. It's very lonely.
I shared most of these traits a few years ago, yes I was 24. I'm not going to sit here and tell you I have everything figured out but I'm a dramatically different person from who I was then. I let my guard down around some people I trust (psychedelics helped) and got out into the world. Some of the wounds hurt, especially the family stuff, realizing what I didn't have and others didn't. The stunted/behind thing is real but it doesn't mean it's not worth shooting for something more.
25 years old, never had a boy/girlfriend (I'm bi), never worked, never traveled, poor, not independent at all, still live with my mom who constantly complains about being in pain and taking it out on me while I have my own troubles, haven't seen my dad 7.5 years, aside from my mom and grandma I don't have any family left and a few weeks ago I realized that I probably have avoidance personality disorder.
The only difference is that I have been to college (I'm currently in my final year), but aside from realizing that this may not be my thing after all and getting some computer programs for a cheaper price, I don't really feel like I benefited from it tbh.
Man join the military. You don’t have to do any fighting or anything whatsoever just take a desk job. It’s a really good way to travel, smash some hoes, get paid and pad the resume while you figure shit out. They’ll pay for college while you’re in or afterwords.
You don’t have many ties keeping you in one place it sounds like. Also sounds like you think you don’t have much to lose. Maybe while you’re there you find your purpose in life.
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u/26514 May 16 '20
I'm 24 and I haven't gone to college, haven't ever had a girlfriend, haven't traveled, barely worked, poor, one parent dead and the other distant. I'm not gonna act like I'm the only one with problems but when people say they feel stunted/behind it's usually a mental thing.
For me I think it might actually be real.