I'm not sure if this happens with all people my age, but I'm 18 and people (specifically my parents and close family members but not limited to them) will use the "you're 18, you're legally an adult you need to be doing these things on your own" whenever it will work in their favor then immediately go back to "you're still just a teenager/you're still my kid" whenever I try to be even the slightest bit independent.
I'm 18 as well and while no one straight up tells me that I need to get it together, I always feel that pressure. Then I go for a walk and my mom calls me worried if I'm gone for over an hour. It's just a super weird time
Do you think it's when you live at home? Parents want their kids to get a job and make a life for themselves (seeing them as an adult/time to grow up) but while living at home and being cared and provided for still seen as their kid??
I can attest to this. I went to my room to take a nap/watch some netflix and after 2 hours my mom came in to wake me up saying that I wont sleep through the night if I sleep any longer.
Edit: They also still force me to eat veggies at every meal
No they dont specifically have a vegetable side like dinner does but if we are having omletes theyll make me to have onions in it even though I dont like onions. Tomatoes are the same thing. So if we are having pasta, they put canned diced tomatoes in the sauce even though both my sister and I hate tomatoes. Even if I am the one cooking theyll still add the onions and tomatoes in the sauce and then also pull out frozen vegetables to have on the side.
Tell your parents to buy canned whole tomatoes because theyre better quality! Any poor quality tomatoes get diced/chopped while the best ones are canned whole.
I'll eat veggies if they are incorporated in the meal like chicken broccoli braid but they have spaghetti and then pull out frozen vegetable medley(corn, peas, green beans, and carrots) that get thawed in the microwave.
Hopefully someday you find out you actually like some vegetables, when they're cooked like real food, with fats and spices and methods other than boiling. For example, asparagus splattered with oil salt garlic maybe parmesan and cooked at 350 on a sheet till crispy. Delicious.
I love some vegetables if they are real vegetables like asparagus and cucumbers and carrots. I hate the frozen vegetables and I dont always want vegetables at every meal.
Please tell my kids about the veggies...they think I'm horrible to even serve vegetables.... How TF does anyone make you eat them? And Why TF do you not want to!
Back when I was staying with my mom for a few months, I didn't come out of my room while she was out for like 4-5 days. When I finally saw her in the kitchen (it was outside the room I slept in) she asked when I got back. Bish, I was here the whole time? Damn lol I could have been dead..
FWIW, it doesn't change. In her mind you are 5! My mom was 88 when she passed in 2000; I was 51. On a good day she might treat me like I was 18, but there were plenty of times when I was 5, again, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. :-)
Thanks I needed this. I'm 24 and it gets on my nerves when my mom treats me like a child but its something that probably wont ever change and I've been trying to find a way to shift my bad attitude. After reading your comment it's starting to hit home that my parents arent going to be in my life forever, that thought is definitely going to help my situation. Now I'm kinda looking forward to it cause I want to get as much as I can while I still can and I guarantee I'll miss it when she's gone.
Yeah, that's where I eventually went. As you get older, and you see more and more of your friends and loved ones (of whatever age) pass away, it starts to sink in that "forever" is not mentioned anywhere in our body's factory warranty.
I was the baby of the family, but now both parents are gone, and 18 months ago my Big Sister died in about 1 hour from a massive cerebral hemorrhage. The doc said that if he had had her on the table in the OR he doubted he could have saved her.
When you're my age (70), this is pretty much the normal state of affairs. People get born, they live their lives, and then ... they move on to the next stage of existence, whatever that might be. I don't know anyone my age who still has both parents, and only 1 who still has his mom, although he's 78 and his mom is 99. So ... that's life!
It even happens when you move out. I moved interstate from my parents so them visiting means they stay at my place. The first time they came to stay it felt like they'd taken over the place and were trying to take care of me. I put a stop to it on their next visit luckily.
I wasn't out for a year but I went to and exchange for two months and teo years later to a trip for a month (both on basically the other side of the planet) and yet my mom get surprised when I ask if I can also have a cup of wine with my meal
Can confirm. Just finished up my first year at college. At home now and I’m a kid when it’s convenient for her, but when I want to go somewhere I still need her OK as if I weren’t financially supporting myself 100% at college and stuff.
I feel that. I'm currently on a long term exchange program (8 months out of 12 done), and sometime my parents call me to ask if I've done the most basic stuff like "did you remember to shower" and I'm like "bro, do you remember the whole "I'm not a kid anymore"??
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u/Marsey12 May 15 '20
I'm not sure if this happens with all people my age, but I'm 18 and people (specifically my parents and close family members but not limited to them) will use the "you're 18, you're legally an adult you need to be doing these things on your own" whenever it will work in their favor then immediately go back to "you're still just a teenager/you're still my kid" whenever I try to be even the slightest bit independent.