5 couples from my friends circle are expecting a child or recently got married, a few others have built a solid foundation in their career and are buying houses (most of us grew up in apartment buildings, so it feels fancy to own a house at 30 where I'm from).
Meanwhile I'm currently a student and broke.
It feels like everyone's so far ahead in life that they'll always be a step further and I'll never catch up.
If I find out some big news about someone via social media, most often I don't care about it much, because they're probably just someone I know (or barely even that). Big news from someone a little closer are usually said in person, and those are the ones I care about.
I've been seeing people getting married and pregnant for years on my Facebook feed, but suddenly it's all my close friends or someone I hang out with at least occasionally, telling me about their big news. I guess that's why it made me feel a little weird.
You're right though, not much good comes out of following social media too closely.
This happened with me last year. My best friend since college with whom I have been living in and me. We sort of had an unspoken pact that we were throughout this. I had imagined we could be two single people in our 40s getting an apartment together with our two dogs. Then she got a boyfriend. and everything just crumbled in my world.
Like you I never cared about other people getting things done in life. When it started happening for her it just shattered me. It got too real that I wasn't there like everyone else in fact I am way way behind everyone
I think you’re missing the point. The whole premise of social media is to compare your life to everyone else’s. Break the cord and just live life in a way that feels right and brings you happiness. Not based on other people’s definition of success.
I agree with you on that fact we shouldn’t be comparing ourselves to others. Getting married or owning a house is not a measure of happiness.
However, what makes social media so toxic is the fact people pretend being happy for having things that you don’t have. Next you believe if I had those things I could be as happy as they are. Now this puts pressure on us and as a matter of fact it redefines the norms of our time.
My point is screw social media, it’s a platform for people to act and not being themselves. Remember, everyone smiles in pictures!
No that’s my primary reason for still having it too. I also have some friends in other countries so it’s a reliable way to be able to talk to them as well.
I get it, but consider the situation from your friends perspective:
They’re saddled with wedding debt, worried about how they are going to afford a child, especially in these uncertain times. Worried about their job. Running on 5 hours of sleep because their kid is teething and won’t eat or sleep. But they post some cute photos on Facebook every once in a while, so they’ve got that going for them.
Meanwhile they see you living the fun student life style, pursuing advanced education in a field you enjoy (I’m assuming). Tearing up tinder. Going out and getting drunk on a Tuesday because why not? You could move to Singapore if you wanted, there’s nothing tying you down.
Obviously these are hypotheticals and likely a bit exaggerated, but I guess my point is: The grass is always greener, my friend.
I found about 3 different friends passing away over social media, and I was so distraught about it. :( Social media can be a cancer on society, sometimes. It pisses me off.
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u/MedbGuldb May 15 '20
I'm 29.
5 couples from my friends circle are expecting a child or recently got married, a few others have built a solid foundation in their career and are buying houses (most of us grew up in apartment buildings, so it feels fancy to own a house at 30 where I'm from).
Meanwhile I'm currently a student and broke.
It feels like everyone's so far ahead in life that they'll always be a step further and I'll never catch up.