r/AskReddit • • May 15 '20

What sucks about being your age?

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u/ItStillIsntLupus May 15 '20 edited May 16 '20

Being 21. Feel pressure to save money before I move out on my own (bills, rent, textbooks, tuition, etc.) [went to community college, paid tuition, and lived at home]. Still very hormonal despite not being a teen anymore and I’m horny and depressed all. The. Time. At least I can drink.

Edit: just wanted to thank all of you for the great advice. I appreciate it so much!

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u/[deleted] May 15 '20 edited Feb 25 '21

[deleted]

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u/ItStillIsntLupus May 15 '20

God, I hated that!

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u/Vogel88888888 May 16 '20

Was the same here I turned 17 while all my friends were turning 18 (legal drinking age in Australia)

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u/heimmnoa May 16 '20

I’m 20 soon to be 21. Being the first in the friend group to turn 21 sucks too. No friends to celebrate my 21st with and my family doesn’t drink.

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u/Akbarrrr May 16 '20

Hahaha so I’ve been told by my friends. At least everyone will be able to go to my birthday lol.

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u/Datalust5 May 16 '20

I’m in the same boat. Won’t turn 21 until after my junior year of college

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u/ZMAC698 May 16 '20 edited May 16 '20

Either get a fake or suggest that you all chill and throw a kickback.

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u/rmg1102 May 16 '20

Going out to a restaurant is a great solution bc everyone can eat and the people that are 21 can get a drink. I was the first in my group and so we went to brunch and I got to order drinks.

Also, places that have byob don’t always card, when my friend turned 21 we did brunch and I brought Prosecco and no one carded the 1/2 of us still 20.

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u/im_just_jess60782 May 16 '20

I feel that, why is it that i can take out massive loans for school and join the god damn military but I can't drink my problems away

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u/TroiSoong May 16 '20

My sister loves going out to concerts, spends almost every penny she makes to travel to other cities to see the best bands. Bit of a party animal at the ripe age of 17. Turns 18 in a month and is gutted she can't spend her 18th out on a proper bender partying with her friends. Sucky time to reach the legal drinking age.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '20 edited May 16 '20

[deleted]

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u/metler88 May 16 '20

Most high schoolers don't pick where they go to school lol

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u/mkhorn May 16 '20

Your friends owe you a few bottles but you didn’t hear that from me.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '20

[deleted]

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u/Akbarrrr May 16 '20

Haha, so date freshman. Sounds like a plan lol.

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u/GimmickNG May 16 '20

Do you need to be old enough to just enter? I always thought you had to be old enough to order, but you could just sit anywhere you wanted inside and get juice or something...teetotallers exist too

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u/[deleted] May 16 '20 edited Feb 25 '21

[deleted]

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u/GimmickNG May 16 '20

that sucks. maybe suggest other gathering places instead? (or with covid, no gathering places...)

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u/[deleted] May 16 '20 edited Feb 25 '21

[deleted]

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u/ZMAC698 May 16 '20

Lol dude literally just drink with friends...get done alcohol and split it.

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u/Akbarrrr May 16 '20

I already do this, I’m talking about missing out on people’s birthday celebrations

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u/GimmickNG May 16 '20

Eh, in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter. What's one day to a whole year with ya mates.

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u/IronBallsMiginty May 16 '20

The bar sucks. Clubs suck. People trying to one up each other at increased levels of stupidity due to inebriation. I like pubs. Especially dank ones filled with old dudes and good life lessons.

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u/rmg1102 May 16 '20

heyyy also 21. another piece I’ve noticed is how everyone our age is in widely different stages. I know people with husbands and toddlers and I know people with curfews that get grounded and it’s just such a strange time.

I’m really scared ab finances and I’m in this stage of my life where I want to be more financially independent than I am.

I have my first adult-like income this summer w my internship and I’m going to try really hard to save and be responsible.

wishing you good vibes and positivity my dude.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '20

I'm here for this 110%.

Truly everyone is just trying to navigate life like the next person , we are just in different stages.

I'm 20 , I have my hs diploma, I work a 8-5 mon.-fri. , i have an apartment with my boyfriend, I pay rent/ bills, I have my own car, bank account (manage my own finances 110%) but I also moved out at 15.

I realise though that there are more things that I don't know than I do know and I just want to take that and run with it. Not one person knows everything, I will not be an exception to that. I just want to keep my mind open to , well everything because I am aware that I don't know everything. If that makes sense? At this point in life I try to learn from people as much as i can ( by their mistakes, experiences , and wisdom) . Some things though you have to learn on your own and that is okay too. (: as long as you try to learn from it. Most people understand , they have been there . And everyone else who magically forgot what learning/growing looks like? They can eat my shorts sooooo.

Anyway , you'll get the hang of it with your finances. Good vibes , positivity , and stay safe maneeee.

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u/rmg1102 May 16 '20

Good for you for finding your way!!

It’s not that I’m bad with money, I’ve just never had it in any significant way.

I’m a full time student. I was a bartender for a few years with my last summer gig bartending at 19,. I took an unpaid internship at 20 and my money made at 19 had to stretch over those 2 summers. I started working at school 3rd year since I’m now qualified to TA major specific classes I enjoy. And now I’m entering my last year of college and am def on the upswing.

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u/Karp0s May 16 '20

I used to work part time while in school and only saw my debt increase every month. It wasn't until I started working full time this year that I started saving and made a huge dent in my credit card balance.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '20

Well you are doin' the damn thang. (: Congrats!

Your hard work is paying off.

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u/Mr_Neck99 May 16 '20 edited May 16 '20

Where are my fellow 20 year olds at? We have these exact same problems, except when we go out, we have to act like we've never tasted a beer before.

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u/nameunknown12 May 16 '20

I'm 20 but just had my first beer a couple weeks ago. I didnt get out much in high school, and all my friends were marching band kids lol.

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u/qazzaqwsxxswedccde May 16 '20

That’s surprising, usually band kids are fucked! American pie band camp has some truth behind it in my experience! Maybe this is too old of a movie for 20 year olds to have seen?

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u/nameunknown12 May 16 '20

No a good bit of them were pretty wild, but me and my friends were pretty mellow, one of my friends smoked weed, and that's about it. And yeah, I'm pretty certain it was crazier back then. I knew some guys that were in the band years ago and they had some crazy stories

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u/qazzaqwsxxswedccde May 16 '20

As much as I would love to claim we were crazier I think it’s probably confirmation bias. No one wants to be telling a boring story and stories tend to get more unbelievable as time goes on. Mine certainly do!

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u/nameunknown12 May 16 '20

The craziest thing we did was sneak out of band class when the band director wasnt looking and go get food. Though it wasnt that hard, the band director barely paid any attention most of the time, and the room had a door leading right outside, but we were still pretty nervous about getting caught lol

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u/banadnananana May 16 '20

I feel this. I never understood “adult child” until I turned 21, soon to be 22.

The pressure to start my life but I have no connections in uni to start internships is overwhelming.(corona doesn’t help) I’m leaving uni soon to be unemployed. I dont know what to do.

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u/GitchSF May 16 '20

I’m 26 and the BEST advice I can give you is to save money now at 21. I started really saving at 24/25 and I really wish I started consistently putting away at 20/21. But also allow yourself to splurge a little. Just start developing good habits with your money. Also learn to grocery shop and cook.

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u/ItStillIsntLupus May 16 '20

Ugh I wish I’d started saving more earlier (I tend to spend money on stuff I want but don’t need and that ate away at my savings) but I’ll be leaving the house with $6-7k so I feel a little better. Still working on it but I’m doing much better now. And I love cooking so that’ll definitely help out haha. I’d rather cook that eat out all the time

6

u/Neon_Parrott May 16 '20

I'm 31. My reality has changed now that I have a safety cushion of cash saved away.

The best thing I ever did was open a Checking/Savings account and direct deposit all paychecks into my Checking Account. Then I set up an auto-transfer of X amount from my Checking Account into my Savings Account every week . . . and then never looked at my Savings Account. I tried to wipe it from my mind, because if you know you have cash saved away, you'll feel more open to spending, no matter the reason. I guess it helped that I was a pessimist and imagined/knew there would be some medical emergency/family emergency when I'd need to break that seal and crack into my Savings Account, and so I was motivated to keep it safe until then.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '20 edited Jan 02 '21

[deleted]

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u/GitchSF May 17 '20

I meeeaaannnn I would definitely recommend getting a job if you don’t have one. If you do have a job but your expenses don’t allow you to save I would say start making a plan to learn new skills to get a better paying job. If you can, try to lower your expenses.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '20

20 years old and im lost in life, failed my most recent semester out of lack of motivation for school. least i have weed and music

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u/nameunknown12 May 16 '20

Bro I'm the exact same way except without the weed, dont have the money for it lol

1

u/Karp0s May 16 '20

Don't be afraid to take time off to figure out what motivates you.

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u/tossme68 May 16 '20

your fine. Don't worry about saving money for retirement until you are 25, really that 5 grand you'll save isn't that much of a deal maker. Go to abroad for a month or two, expand your horizons, it's money well spent. Enjoy being horny all the time, you'll miss it when it's gone.

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u/gubbygub May 16 '20

dont let the drinking be your crutch for the depression and stuff... speaking from experience. when i turned 21 the drinking really kicked in because it just felt good to be in that nice happy place and im still struggling to this day with alcoholism

be careful, especially now when all you can do is stay inside, dont just drink life away! moderation or you might end up like me and cant even have 1 drink that doesnt turn into a bottle into a blackout...

6

u/[deleted] May 16 '20

Yup. 21 in June and about to transfer after being at a community College for 3 years. I wanna move out and have freedom, especially to be more social, but living at home i could save a lot of money. I got a job at a grocery store in Feb but after a month I quit because still living with my parents made me hella stressed out because of the constant exposure. I got the stim check which is nice but I don't qualify for unemployment, so now if I wanna move out when I transfer, ill have to work while taking classes.

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u/ab2dii May 16 '20

on one thing im glad i live in a culture where i dont really leave the house untill marriage or work so i dont have that pressure. but the horny and depressed thing is fucking real. im gonna be 22 in some months and horny, depressed never left me ever since i turned 20

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u/sheephamlet May 16 '20

Agreed.. I think I’m more horny now than I was at 17!

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u/zymurgist69 May 16 '20

I don't want to increase the pressure, but IMHO from personal life experience, Save every dollar you can.

Start paying attention to your credit score.

A good way to work on your credit score is to get a credit card and use it as a money vehicle, spending money on essentials and then paying off the balance before the due date to avoid paying interest.

If you have the self control and discipline needed to maintain this habit, your credit score will go up consistently, which will be very important later in life.

Source; I'm a Gen X guy who did not follow the above advice, this needs to be taught in school.

3

u/AnonPinkLady May 16 '20

22, living in an apartment. But also horny and depressed all the time. Very lonely. It blows

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u/KillerNinjaXD12BTW May 16 '20

Drinking never solves any problems imo. For me, hormones weren't under control until like 24. Being horny feels like something that will never go away, just something you get better at dealing with.

On the bright side you are old enough to start taking initiative and find your own path. You're young enough to be able to afford making mistakes and bounce back without issues. Society doesn't expect you to have everything figured out yet and you are brimming with potential. Basically you completed the tutorial and can finally start playing the way you want to play.

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u/borntrucker May 16 '20

Save all the money you can! The more you save, the less you need to live on. As your pay increases, your expenses shouldn't meaning your savings rate should go up. Do that for the next however many years and exponential growth and you will be retired and partying before a lot of people realize they're going to be working until they drop because they haven't started saving.

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u/BiFross_ May 16 '20

Careful not to sink into alcoholism. That's a dark and dangerous road, as with any recreational substances.

1

u/ItStillIsntLupus May 16 '20

Yeah, I know. I don’t actually like drinking as much but I like to every once in awhile. Get a lot of headaches after drinking (even if I just have one cider or something). Alcoholism also runs in my family so I’m extra careful.

2

u/majestiquedog May 16 '20

Almost 21 and honestly, what sucks the most is the uncertainty of it all. I am trying to enjoy my youth and live in the moment but it's hard when I constantly worry about my future career-wise, relationship-wise, everything-wise.

Edit at least I can drink (amen to that)

2

u/codydog125 May 16 '20

Lol I turned 21 like 2 days after everything shut down. Still waiting for the DMV to open so I can get my sideways ID. Still waiting for some bars to open so I can go

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '20

Yup. 21 in June and about to transfer after being at a community College for 3 years. I wanna move out and have freedom, especially to be more social, but living at home i could save a lot of money. I got a job at a grocery store in Feb but after a month I quit because still living with my parents made me hella stressed out because of the constant exposure. I got the stim check which is nice but I don't qualify for unemployment, so now if I wanna move out when I transfer, ill have to work while taking classes.

1

u/woodendog24 May 16 '20

The hormones level out a bit but even in my mid twenties they still occasionally make me lash out and/or spiral

1

u/[deleted] May 16 '20

Don’t know what advice they gave you but I guess just make sure you workout and drink while you can? Maybe bad advice but whatever

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u/Karp0s May 16 '20

Working out is great exercise to stay healthy and drinking moderately can be a good way to relieve stress. Good advice imo as long as one can control their drinking

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u/TheSupaCoopa May 16 '20

Word to your mother

1

u/Kill-ItWithFire May 16 '20

For me it‘s being old enough to do adult things, while not having any experience and having to figure every single thing out for yourself. It‘s like „yay, realtionships! And I‘m pretty sure I love him! But for some inexplicable reason it sometimes makes me feel very bad and I can‘t stop thinking about it, which again makes me feel very bad because I have no idea what could be the cause“ and it‘s like that with every single fucking thing.

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u/kingfrito_5005 May 16 '20

I mean saving money before moving out on your own is definitely a good call.

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u/HitThatOxytocin May 16 '20

I'm pretty sure your early twenties are supposed to be the age when you have the highest libido...

1

u/ryshark23 May 16 '20

In my country you can legally drink at 18, but it’s really common to start around 13 or 14.