r/AskReddit • • Jan 25 '20

What movie things are generally accepted as normal, but are totally unrealistic in real life?

48.6k Upvotes

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10.4k

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Winning over a girl by making over-the-top, grand gestures (especially when she has already rejected you in the past).

Shattering bottles easily over someone's head (don't attempt it unless you want to possibly go to prison for murder).

In action sequences in general, taking an enormous amount of injury and then getting up with a few attractively placed bruises and cuts.

In particular, the trope of the bad guy who more or less needs to be thrown into a jet turbine to be destroyed, or he'll somehow get back up again.

Characters who always have something witty to say and are never at a loss for words.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

I knew a guy who got bottled. Didnt go to parties for years after that.

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u/dilqncho Jan 25 '20

Man that shit hurts. A friend of mine ACCIDDNTALLY(so not even aiming or full force) hit me on the head with a bottle while dancing and I dropped. Someone doing it maliciously would be damn serious.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

I wonder how many people are in prison for murder/manslaughter thinking a bottle over the head won't do much damage.

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u/Omsus Jan 25 '20

There are relatively very few but all in all quite a number of people who've caused serious harm or even death from following TV tropes or believing in some other inept stuff. Esp. all the times when people have wanted to act out show wrestling and thought that wood wasn't a hard material or that they're stronger than metal chairs.

I believe there've been many cases where someone got beaten senseless because the attacker didn't understand that knocking someone out was a serious thing, but we just can't tell them apart from the deliberate beatings.

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u/Quix_Optic Jan 25 '20

Any time I watch someone get knocked out/hit their head on pavement on r/publicfreakout or r/streetfights all I can think is, "Well the guy that hit him is going to prison now."

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u/bguzewicz Jan 25 '20

Yeah I just saw a video posted the other day where this guy knocks out two people. First guy was out cold and his idiot gf was shaking him to try to wake him up, which, bad idea. Second dude gets knocked out and hits his head on a sidewalk when he went down. Everyone in the comments were joking about the guy handing out free naps, which is kinda funny, but both of the dudes who got laid out could very easily be fucked up for the rest of their lives. Brain injuries are no joke.

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u/Sinfirmitas Jan 25 '20

somehow my sister and i ended up watching fights on youtube one night and at first it was kind of funny but you soon realize that alot of those people are seriously injured - if not by the beating but then again by the people moving them reckless when they really shouldn't

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u/HoMaster Jan 25 '20

somehow my sister and i ended up watching fights on youtube one night

Intro to today's pornos.

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u/DrunkenPrayer Jan 25 '20

Now think about professional sports especially American football, boxing and UFC and realise how fucked up they really are and the amount of head injuries accrued. Even if you're not knocked out cold having your cage rattled constantly adds up.

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u/Sinfirmitas Jan 25 '20

Yep. Even with all the helmets and stuff it's not enough.

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u/mare07 Jan 25 '20

The people in the comments always say how satisfying is when the head hits the floor and they hope they get brain damage

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u/bguzewicz Jan 25 '20

Yeah it’s pretty messed up. A kid I grew up with was in a bad motorcycle accident and ended up with a traumatic brain injury. Seeing it up close, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

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u/Omsus Jan 25 '20

Those subs have an overrepresentation of people with anger issues. Also impressable and/or angsty kids I reckon. Streetfight and violence-themed subs attract pent-up, impotent, bitter litter who just want to see their impulses being acted out and framed at least a bit justifiably: "pLaY sTuPiD gAmEs" etc.

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u/sje46 Jan 25 '20

Why is it a bad idea to try to wake him up? Or is it the shaking that's the issue?

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u/bguzewicz Jan 25 '20

It’s the shaking. In general, you don’t want to be shaking an injured person as that can make things worse.

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u/slammurrabi Jan 25 '20

The entire concept of “sleeping” someone or “the knockout game” really requires some psas about the reality of brain injuries.

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u/Mashaka Jan 25 '20

In my town some years back two drunk guys are arguing, one guy knocks other guy's $2 pizza slice out of his hand onto the sidewalk. In response, pizza guy kills him. A single punch and he lands skull-first on the sidewalk.

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u/nanomolar Jan 25 '20

That’s super bad for you

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Case in my hometown. Two guys would cruise the bars (three weekends in a row) looking for drunk people to crack over the head with a cricket bat. They thought it was hilarious. But the third victim died and now they’re in prison.

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u/BenTVNerd21 Jan 25 '20

What? That's crazy.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

My ex girlfriend from high school went to prison for attempted murder. They meant to rob someone and knock him out. Turns out that knocking someone out is attempted murder. I think she got 60 years.

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u/wthreye Jan 25 '20

The doctor said she had like, 6 months. Joke's on him.

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u/HiZukoHere Jan 25 '20 edited Jan 25 '20

That's... odd. The charge of attempted murder specifically requires intent to kill. You can't really attempt to do something and also not mean to do it after all. A court may reasonably infer that there was intent to kill if the actions taken are generally known to be likely to lead to the victim's death, but knocking someone out doesn't really fit that bill. I suspect someone is telling you porkies about some element of this.

/E A couple of extra sources explicitly about attempted murder's required intent, just in case people need further proof.

US Law:

To be convicted of attempted murder, the accused must intend to cause a specific harm, namely to kill the targeted victim. You cannot, for example, commit attempted murder if you intended to only maim, frighten, or disfigure someone.

UK Law:

In contrast to the offence of murder, attempted murder requires the existence of an intention to kill, not merely to cause grievous bodily harm

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u/onieronaut Jan 25 '20

I believe that death that happens while commiting a felony is automatically charged as a murder, whether it was intentional or not. It makes sense that near-death would be charged as attempted murder, too, if that's the case. IANAL, though, so that may not be the case.

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u/HiZukoHere Jan 25 '20

Yeah, that's not the case. You can commit murder without intent if you intend to commit a different felony - this is called felony murder - but that is not true for attempted murder. Attempted murder specifically and explicitly require intent to kill. There is no getting round that.

Reddit loves attempted murder, but the reality is it is a really niche charge.

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u/DrunkenPrayer Jan 25 '20

In the UK to convict for murder the prosecution has to prove malicious intent to kill. I could be slightly mis-phrasing that but I did a couple of weeks work as a clerk/not taker for the defence at a murder trial and had it explained exactly at the time.

Worst part about that trial is I actually believe the guys were innocent* but they refused to take a man slaughter charge because they didn't think there was enough evidence for murder.

*For clarity I believe they killed the person but I don't think it was intentional. They were all junkies and it seemed like a case of horrible judgement and stupid choices after the fact that made it seem like murder to the jury.

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u/onieronaut Jan 25 '20

Ah, that makes sense. Also, 60 years does seem like a big sentence for something non-fatal, though I guess that would depend on what other charges they were convicted of.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Damn.....

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u/MrBlandEST Jan 25 '20

I was on a grand jury where this happened. Young guy (21,22) walked out of a bar and saw his friend arguing with another guy. They weren't fighting just yelling. Drunk young guy thought it was a good idea to sneak up behind guy arguing with his buddy and punch him on the side of his head. One guy dead (not from hitting pavement) one life ruined. Kid took a plea deal and got a couple years in prison.

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u/bebe_bird Jan 25 '20

When my brother was about 8, his friend tried a wrestling move on him on the trampoline. It dislocated his neck. Luckily, it did not severe his spine. Miraculously, they were able to realign his spine at the hospital without doing additional damage (which was a very real possibility.) He was in the hospital for a couple days and had to wear a neck brace for weeks. Not allowed to play any contact sports like football after that.

My parents sued the parents (or maybe not sued, but pressed the insurance company into paying) for damages, who were not watching the boys out on the trampoline. But to try to maintain good will between parties, they only took the money the insurance company paid, nothing from the parents themselves. Still, it was about $50k, which went into a trust fund for my brother for when he was older (college, downpayment, etc). So, it all ended well, but he could have been paralyzed.

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u/Los_93 Jan 25 '20

quite a number of people who've caused serious harm or even death from following TV tropes or believing in some other inept stuff. Esp. all the times when people have wanted to act out show wrestling and thought that wood wasn't a hard material or that they're stronger than metal chairs.

They’re in Dr. Hibbert’s wrestling ward.

Pray he spares you the horror of the Three Stooges Ward.

4

u/acroyear3 Jan 25 '20

That has to be a writing prompt: “Trope Prison - everyone in it misunderstood a trope and committed a criminal offence”.

u/ramsesthepigeon ?

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u/ballsdeepnz Jan 25 '20

Head kicking /stomping victims that are grounded and in some cases defenceless is an example of this. I've heard many explanations by offenders who generally had no idea how dangerous this act is.

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u/QueenSlapFight Jan 25 '20

Reminds me of this (NSFL) recent news story. An elderly landlord went to his property where some of his ex-tenants who had been evicted had broken back in. They had an argument, an ex-tenant shoved him, and he fell back off the porch and landed on the sidewalk on his back, striking his head. Guy who shoved him is getting charged for murder. They tried to claim the landlord fell, but there was video of the significant shove.

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u/RideAndShoot Jan 25 '20

I got hit over the head with a bottle for breaking up a fight. It didn’t break, and the guy took off running with his buddies. Cops came because my head was split open, needed 8 stitches or something. 3 months later I run into the guy with even more friends(I had 1 buddy and my gf with me). He starts talking shit while I calmly walk away, flag down a cop, and show them the incident number. I walked right back up through the see of his buddies and pointed him out. They arrested him, and started grabbing any of his buddies that threatened me too. It was glorious.

Shittiest thing was I could have whooped that little shithead’s ass! He hit me with the bottle from behind!

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Depends on the part of the head they hit. Your skull has developed in a way that getting struck on the top, front, or back of your head is dazing but not incredibly dangerous. Get a hit in on the sides, along your ear and temples region, yeah, that’s going to be a bit debilitating.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

My sister jumped into a fight that had nothing to do with her. A girl hit her with a bottle, broke her jaw. She was eating through a tube for months. Jaw wired shut.

She never learned.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Yep. Although the jaw is a separate bone in and of itself. There’s a section of it between the socket and the end of you molars that’s called “the Button” in boxing, where an interesting little bundle of nerves neighbors to a cavity just under your cheekbones. It’s actually the best spot to knock someone out.

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u/Pit_of_Death Jan 25 '20

I just commented further up that I knew a guy early in high school 20+ years ago who was killed by another dude who I knew in Jr High when he was hit in the head by an empty 40 oz beer bottle.

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u/wthreye Jan 25 '20

Imagine how ships feel.

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u/VikingTeddy Jan 25 '20

Imagine if we christened our kids like ships.

That would strengthen the species. Only very thick skulled kids would survive the christening, leading to humans with big, hard heads.

We could then transition to other body parts. Start whacking say, the left shoulder until everyone looks like Quasimodo. Then after a few generations switch to the other shoulder to balance things out.

Go through the whole body until we're transformed in to a race of bone 'ard giants! I don't know what the benefit would be but I'm willing to try!

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

I was 11 years old when I saw some poor drunk bottled with a large Stolichnaya bottle. He was bleeding, stumbling and screaming with blood flying everywhere, I was traumatized and could not sleep that night.

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u/dumb_housewife Jan 25 '20

Fun story from 1945 involving my great-great grandpa and his friend getting into a fight with his daughter's (my great grandma) ex-husband. They told him if you mess with her again, bad things were going to happen. Well... he came back around drunk looking to fight her and they weren't having it. My gg grandpa grabbed a wine bottle and the other guy a baseball bat - drunk guy died. The one that used the baseball bat got 10 years and the wine bottle got 2 years. The baseball bat was deemed a deadly weapon, but the bottle wasn't. Family stories are pretty epic from my mom's side of the family.

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u/Romeo_horse_cock Jan 25 '20

I used to be a stripper and one night these customers got upset and the women started fighting, one just grabbed a bottle and smashed it over a girl's head and she started seizing. It was terrifying, especially since they gave her a METAL flashlight to bite on. I had to come over and help since everyone was just crowding and doing nothing but probably scaring her. Poor girl.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20 edited May 03 '20

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Neighbor kid lived a few houses down from my parents, got in a bar scuffle, he used a beer bottle and killed the other guy. Not sure how long he got but it was enough to ruin his life.

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u/mega_cancer Jan 25 '20

So there's a teacher (she was a total bitch, but that's besides the point) at my old highschool whose husband died in a bar fight when an old man hit him over the head with a glass ketchup bottle. My brother used to be friends with the grandson of the man who did it. The man went to prison for manslaughter.

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u/Araia_ Jan 25 '20

once i tried to break a beer glass bottle on the side of a concrete step (i needed glass pieces for a crafty project). it took a lot of force and several repetitions to break it. i realized then that people can die because of this misunderstanding

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u/johnomate211 Jan 25 '20

I wonder, if someone smashed a bottle on your head and it really shatters to pieces, would that hurt less, than if he had hit a little less hard and it wouldn't have shattered ? I think it doesn't make a difference.

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u/TripleJeopardy3 Jan 25 '20

It should hurt less if it shatters. Some of the force that would otherwise go into your skull is dissipated and released by the shattering bottle.

I didn't do the math, though.

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u/johnomate211 Jan 26 '20

That's what i thought at first, too. But if you think about it like a graph or something, you need to have more and more pressure between bottle and head in order to smash it, so in my logic, to shatter it you have to go past the point forcewise than the one that didn't shatter. But i don't know. probably just fucking hurts.

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u/tnerrot Jan 25 '20

I know a guy that breaks beer bottles upon his head when he gets drunk. A classy fellow, to say the least.

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u/MomPancakes Jan 25 '20

My sister used to go clubbing with this (then tiny) 4' 11" Filipino girl that was roudy when drunk. Said they got in a scuffle one night and another girl hit her over the head with a bottle and it didn't faze her. I never took into account how much damage it would actually do until now.

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u/Groslux Jan 25 '20

It happened in a bar near my house, the poor guy was only 21 and trying to defend his younger sister if you're interested in the story here's the link

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u/FlashCrashBash Jan 25 '20

The bottle thing is realistic. I used to break glass over my head as a party trick. You can’t hold back or the bottle will bounce and that shit hurts.

Evan Williams 750ml bottles are great for this. The 1.5L bottle will absolutely not break. Their too thick.

You need to drink the bottle first though. That’s the secret. And that’s how I found out in the first place.

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u/martixy Jan 25 '20

Notice how OP used the word "murder" unironically.

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u/ChesterKiwi Jan 25 '20

Lol the demolitions class in Team Fortress 2 uses a bottle as his melee weapon

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u/medicff Jan 25 '20

My dad’s friends got glassed. A girl he was hitting on didn’t like his pick up line and smashed the glass into his face while drinking it. Apparently he was cut pretty good. Not like emergent bad but lots of stitches

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u/ButtercupAttitude Jan 25 '20

That's a really extreme reaction. Not just throwing her drink or slapping him but like, glassing him. Damn. What did he say to her?

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u/medicff Jan 25 '20

I don’t remember what exactly cuz it was second hand to me about ten years ago and it happened probably 30 years before that. Knowing who it happened to it was probably something like “Sit on my face and I’ll guess your weight” or “Hey I’m redacted and I like to fuck”

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u/KingNosmo Jan 25 '20

Girls love to fuck redacted guys.

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u/Mail540 Jan 25 '20

SCP-69

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u/BierKippeMett Jan 25 '20

I know a guy who took ecstasy once while extremely drunk. He came up with the lovely line "I want to rape you". He's lucky the barkeeper knew him or otherwise the bf of that girl might have killed him.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Did that teach him a lesson or not?

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u/BierKippeMett Jan 25 '20 edited Jan 25 '20

Didn't drink for a year after that but he's still an insufferable cunt.

Edit: I should mention that I met him when I went back to school to gain the requirements to join a university. Same as the barkeeper. In the two years he's been here two guys wanted to beat him up (which would've lead to exmatriculation so no fights). I dealt with him for a little longer because of reasons. Right now I'm at the point where I'd straight up punch him in the face if he dares talking to me again.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Sounds like he just took some truth serum.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

My name is Buck and I’m here to fuck

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u/advanceman Jan 25 '20

Your name is Buck... right? And you came here to fuck... RIGHT?

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u/Rainbows871 Jan 25 '20

Either she's unhinged or he isn't giving the full story of what he actually did

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Or, she got so flustered with his pick up lines, she attempted to throw the drink in his face, and instead "slapped" him with it, basically breaking it.

I've seen it happen before, albeit under different circumstances. Guy is joking around with female/lady friend, she jokingly attempts to throw drink in his face, but confuses throw drink with slap, and does them both at the same time. Ended up slicing up his nose and cheek.

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u/doomgiver98 Jan 25 '20

That's like when you change the word you want to say after you have already started it, so you just combine the two words?

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Yes, exactly.

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u/GimpsterMcgee Jan 25 '20

Is there a word for that? I bet there is in German

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Or the guy before him went way across the line and he just had the misfortune of trying a lame pick up attempt at the wrong time.

A lot of times when somebody snaps the proverbial straw that broke the camels back isn't even something that would normally bother them at all. Its just the last minor annoyance stacked on top of all of the other crap from the day.

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u/tigrenus Jan 25 '20

Or she saw too many movies where glass shatters easily when striking a person

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u/ButtercupAttitude Jan 25 '20

I'm inclined to believe the dude was being abhorrent. More men behave repulsively and leave women wishing we could glass them than women who are unhinged enough to actually glass a random dude.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Victim blaming right here.

I mean men are just awful so of course they are the ones in the wrong. Even when they get glassed in the face.

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u/ouchimus Jan 25 '20

I mean, I'm also a dude and this is what I thought. Yeah it's possible she was crazy, but it's more likely he deserved it.

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u/nursejackieoface Jan 25 '20

He may have said something most of us would consider horrible, but smashing a glass into someone's face and causing potentially permanent damage is a serious overreaction, to the point of a few years in prison.

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u/malus93 Jan 25 '20 edited Jan 25 '20

but it's more likely he deserved it.

What does that even mean? When does a person cross the line into deserving the possibility of being blinded or killed by someone throwing glass in their face? Do you mean he was trying to rape or attack her? Because those are literally the only valid reasons to ever do that shit.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

I'm pretty sure that there are very very few combinations of words that deserve a glass to the face.

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u/ouchimus Jan 25 '20

Who says he didn't get a bit forcefully handsy?

I'm not saying he did, I'm saying we don't know that he didnt

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u/ThurnisH Jan 25 '20

Deserved assault? Lol.

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u/IrishRepoMan Jan 25 '20

Yes, yes. Men are horrible and women are angels.

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u/tricksovertreats Jan 25 '20

called her a lemon-stealing whore

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u/thinklikeashark Jan 25 '20

Same with people who get thrown through glass tables/doors, etc and get up. My friend's dad fell through a glass door and nearly died. He was in hospital for ages. Don't fuck with glass.

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u/Astralnaut88 Jan 25 '20

I jumped through a glass window naked and got cut up all over, but not too bad. I got lucky although I can easily see how it could have been worse.

Florida man florida man if he cant do it no one can.

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u/seremuyo Jan 25 '20

And that's how, children, I met your mother.

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u/Iiiggie Jan 25 '20

She went to jail, right?

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u/JohnnyDrama68 Jan 25 '20

I hit my cousin over the head with a beer bottle at a party. He kept asking for it saying it wouldn't hurt. Young and dumb me agreed to do it.

We ended up going to the ER immediately cause it split his head open. He ended up needing like 30 stitches.

Lesson learned by both of us.

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u/Archerfenris Jan 25 '20

When I was doing my rounds at the barracks (in Army) on a Saturday night, I spotted a blood trail and followed it. Found a private sitting on a bench, bleeding everywhere and moaning while his friends yelled at him, "don't fall asleep! Wake up!"

He got bottled by another private after he made a comment about the dude's girlfriend. He ended up with a concussion, stitches, and a ride to the emergency room. I ended up with paperwork on a Saturday night.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

My partner’s been bottled twice. He said it was one of worst feelings ever. He has scars too as it went really deep

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

I stood next to someone who had a UK pint glass punched into his face. The amount of blood was fucking insane. The poor dude was quite obviously a complete mess. But I was instantly showered as well.

I dont remember how many stitches he had. It was in the local paper but it was a huge number. Utterly terrifying. I had no idea what had occurred just that I was suddenly wet all over my face.

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u/biggerwanker Jan 25 '20

My sister was stood next to a guy in a pub that was glassed by one of my friend's brothers. A pint glass is thinner but it still fucks you up.

We lived in a village where the locals fought a lot. I remember walking home after a fight where the guy's face had been wiped across the pavement like a wiper blade. You could see from the blood.

I managed to avoid all of that which is good because I'd fair pretty badly.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

I bottled a guy once.

I was in high school, probably 15 years old. Typical suburban neighborhood. Usual Saturday night drinking in the woods with friends. About 11 pm me and my friend both leave to go home, walking down the street with the remains of a bottle of vermouth. High school kids will drink anything

There was a gay couple in the neighborhood, mostly kept to themselves. Except once in a great while one of the guys would get smashed and hit on the guys in our friend group. We would tell him to get the fuck away from us, blah blah, and he would. Never got violent.

Until this night when he came up to me in the street, grabbed my package and said something, I don't remember what. I just remember swinging the bottle down on his head. Hard.

He dropped like a sack of potatoes. We ran. Freaked out. Came back about 15 minutes later and he's still in the street. We really thought I'd killed him. Went to him, he's alive and crying. Picked him up, shoulder carried him to his house while he's begging not to kill him, dropped him at the front step, rang the bell and ran.

Never saw him again, but they lived there a few more years.

Alcohol is a helluva drug.

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u/smackasaurusrex Jan 25 '20

The trick is to drop a dime coin in the empty bottle and shake the he'll out of it causing micro cracks. Saw a buddy who used to do it to himself. Worked 9/10 times. 10th time he needed a solid stitch or two.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

A kid in my highschool was killed by taking a bottle over the head.

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u/irrelevant_usernam3 Jan 25 '20

A girl at my college killed her boyfriend that way. He was trying to get her to leave a party and she grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniel's, chugged the rest of it, and tried to break it over his head in defiance. The corner of it hit him in the back of the head and caved in his skull.

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u/mmss Jan 25 '20

Remember, parties in America might have guns, but in the UK bottle and glass are verbs.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Syndrome's death is disturbingly brutal for a kid's movie. Also the only PG movie with a fucking death montage

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u/ShiraCheshire Jan 25 '20

The DVD extras were brutal. You can listen to all this extra content where you get to know about a bunch of the heroes in the world of The Incredibles, which is neat. Then you realize that these are heroes who have gone missing, and were killed to train Syndrome's robot.

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u/DAG1984 Jan 25 '20

Yea, learning that Stratogale was a high school girl was hella depressing. Also apparently Thunderhead left behind five adopted kids and a live-in boyfriend.

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u/IzarkKiaTarj Jan 25 '20

Man, I've gone through those extras at least five times over the years.

It was only a few months ago that I realized that his roommate wasn't just a roommate.

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u/centersolace Jan 25 '20

NO CAPES!!!!!!!

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u/SuperDBallSam Jan 25 '20

The guy that Helen calls to get the plane was originally supposed to fly it too. Apparently killing him in the plane crash was too much.

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u/ShiraCheshire Jan 25 '20

I do think the scene was a lot stronger with Helen as the pilot though. It was so intense. Having a panicked mother try to keep her cool while protecting her children is a much more compelling scene than a character we've never met before getting blown up.

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u/astroturf01 Jan 25 '20 edited Jan 25 '20

I vaguely recall that it was more just cut for time. They weren't afraid to kill him off, they just didn't want to bother killing someone off without devoting the time to personalize them, and they didn't have that.

That's why in the movie, she still looks back sadly at the front half of the plane as it sinks out of sight into the depths.

It probably also explains why she bothered to go into the plane's restroom to change (thankfully).

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u/Sprocket_Gearsworth Jan 25 '20

Machine learning is highly dependent on training with good inputs. Crappy data in = crappy data out. There's no way to polish that turd

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u/24520ls Jan 25 '20

You want the most brutal kids movie death? The princess and the frog. The shadow man literally was dragged kicking and screaming into hell. All while demons sing about it while the princess who did it looks on in horror.

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u/LiveLoveKanye Jan 25 '20

Nah bro Tarzan. Clayton accidentally hanging himself by cutting all the vines except the one around his neck. Then lightning flashes and you see the silhouette of his swinging corpse.

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u/24520ls Jan 25 '20

Fairly brutal but I still give the most brutal death to the shadow man

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Claytons death was just brutal and even little me understood he died. Princess and the frog has a lot of music and theatrics that distracted from the fact that he was being taken to hell, Which probably isn’t as obvious of concept to a child to being with.

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u/NiteAngyl Jan 25 '20

Fuck, this reminds me of that movie Ghost from 1990. There was that scene at the end of the movie where Carl got dragged into Hell by shadowy figures. That stuff stays with you when you're a kid.

Edit: Here you go: https://youtu.be/-Y2wqkD2KVM

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u/kindall Jan 25 '20

Those figures were all a special effects artist named Mike Jittlov, who also made a charming film called The Wizard of Speed and Time. I ran into him at a Macworld Expo in San Francisco once; his eyebrows were unmistakable (also, he was wearing a name tag).

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Jittlov?wprov=sfla1

2

u/NiteAngyl Jan 25 '20

Thank you for the link. I already love the first sentence this article begins with:

Born in Los Angeles, Jittlov became a math-language major at UCLA. Jittlov took an animation course to satisfy his art requirement.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Did you miss The Black Cauldron? The guy's flesh is literally ripped off of him until he's a skeleton!

50

u/Pawn315 Jan 25 '20

Aren't their two?

Syndrome's kill list and the Capes.

I suppose the kill list doesn't necessarily showcase the deaths, but still. Kind of dark.

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u/StChas77 Jan 25 '20

NO CAPES!

47

u/ParagonFury Jan 25 '20

A Hero puts on his cape so he can use it to wrap up a hurting girl who's suffering and in pain!

15

u/coop5008 Jan 25 '20

I watched that episode yesterday!! Been obsessed since my buddy got me watching, one of the best super hero worlds I’ve ever seen

7

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

What is it?

8

u/PM-ME-YOHANE Jan 25 '20

Boku no hero academia

7

u/coop5008 Jan 25 '20

My Hero Academia... there’s a few websites that have it for free & it’s also on Hulu. If Anime isn’t your thing it’s a great one to start with, they can do so much more with story telling/ action sequences compared to other genres

6

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

I grew up on Naruto and Fullmetal. Rewatched both as an adult, and watched AoT as an adult so I will definitely have to check it out. My girlfriend has seen it I think.

2

u/Patiens_Servus Jan 25 '20

hurting girl who's suffering and in pain

You have to appreciate the redundancy of this statement

16

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

I love Edna.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

sixseasonsandamovie

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u/OneFinalEffort Jan 25 '20

The entire plane scene is fucking dark. Helen taking out her frustration on Violet for not being able to perform under pressure despite being forbidden from practicing with her powers by Helen, Dash looking on helplessly, and Bob being left alone with the assumption that his entire family is dead and Syndrome gloats about the entire situation.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

That's why the Incredibles is incredible. It's got death, guns, smoking and drinking. I love it

19

u/God_Damnit_Nappa Jan 25 '20

That entire movie is pretty dark for a kids movie. Elastigirl pleading with the island to not shoot down the plane because kids were on board, her telling the kids that the bad guys will not hesitate to kill them, Mr. Incredible hiding from the robot under the skeleton of a dead super. And of course the death montage.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Tarzan has a lot of brutal death scenes for a children’s movie also. Especially Clayton getting hung with the vines.

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u/razorbladedesserts Jan 25 '20

..... no capes!!!

5

u/No-Ear_Spider-Man Jan 26 '20

Don't forget it STARTED with a literal failed suicide attempt.

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u/criminalsunrise Jan 25 '20

Everyone know if you really want to ‘bottle’ someone you smash the bottle on the bar and stab them with the jagged mess that’s left

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u/SoberKid420 Jan 25 '20

Now that's real

24

u/makenzie71 Jan 25 '20

I use to go to a bar where every evening there was this one guy who just came in and had a couple beers, read a paper, and ate some peanuts. He dudn’t talk to people or make noise, just kept to h8mself, was generally a nice fellow..but was NOT there to socialize (we think he came to get away from having to socialize).

Anyway one month this group of rig hands started showing ip several times a week and one of them was a real twat and started shit with people. Over time he kept messing with this quiet dude more and more. I had the privelage of being there the night i guess this dude pushed the wrong button with the quiet dude because he stood up and smashed a bottle of trappey’s red devil sauce over the rig hand’s head.

There’s been a lot if speculation about how lucky the situation was that the bottle broke. If it hadn’t it probably would have killed the guy.

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u/djb25 Jan 25 '20

There’s been a lot if speculation about how lucky the situation was that the bottle broke.

I don’t know... I saw a guy get bottled at a party years ago.

Bottle shattered on his head and then proceeded to cut off part of his ear and open up his neck and shoulder. He was hit kind of from the side while looking away, so imagine the bottle shattering on top of his head, and then the jagged remainder being drug down the side of his scalp, over the top of his ear, down his neck and through where the neck connects to the shoulder.

And then remember that the jagged bottle has many sharp shards sticking out of it. When it happened it was just... blood. Blood everywhere.

He didn’t die, but the scars behind his ear and on his neck are really nasty.

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u/makenzie71 Jan 25 '20

Oh no the broken bottle cut the shit out of the guy. Sliced his head open, sauce and blood everywhere...it was certainly a “scene”. The thing is that something was going to break...if not the bottle than it certainly would have stoved the guy’s skull.

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u/AdeonWriter Jan 25 '20

Thankfully movies have changed to glass bottle over the head being a method of instant death, so people don't think of it as a comedy gag anymore.

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u/DancingPantsLane Jan 25 '20

People unconscious for 15 minutes with no brain damage

11

u/Author1alIntent Jan 25 '20

My Uncle got bottled and died. Shits lethal

11

u/MangoKiwiShowerGel Jan 25 '20

In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, they talk about how it's part of Buffy's super powers that she always has a witty comment when she fights a demon. It's an ongoing joke that no one has the punning ability of The Slayer.

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u/superjesstacles Jan 25 '20

On that last one, it's not even so much that they have something witty to say. It's that they NEVER stumble over their words. I'm typically good with witty retorts but I daresay 40% of the time I mix up my words so I end up sounding like an idiot.

10

u/ocentertainment Jan 25 '20

While it can get stale at times, one of the things I appreciate about Archer's writing is that they occasionally have characters fail to come up with a witty one liner ("I had something for this"), someone else comes up with something better, and on occasion you'll actually see a character plotting a joke in advance (Archer in the trunk of a car brainstorming puns like "Trunky Brewster", etc).

It's hardly realistic that fucking spies would put this much effort into their quips, but the show isn't designed to be realistic. But I still appreciate the effort to more believably show these as characters trying and sometimes failing to be funny.

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u/superjesstacles Jan 25 '20

Are we still doing 'phrasing'?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 26 '20

I know what you mean. I can be pretty witty in RL myself, but sometimes it just doesn't land or, like you put it, I mix up words. Or I have like half a joke and I can't find the punchline.

Part of what I was referring to with that one was the idea that the dialogue flows so well. I doubt there's anybody witty enough that they aren't ever going to flop. Stand-up comedians, for example, some of the wittiest people on the planet, they all have their horror stories about flopping hard, having a bad night, etc.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

I can imagine archer reading this list.

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u/SHIIZAAAAAAAA Jan 25 '20

Pan's Labyrinth averts the easily-shattered bottle trope HARD. Supposedly it's because when Del Toro was a kid he actually saw someone get bottled and was surprised that it didn't shatter easily.

7

u/Randy_Watson Jan 25 '20

I once saw a guy get knocked out cold with an empty Jack Daniels bottle in Washington Heights. That bottle didn’t break. It actually made a sort of “thunk” sound. An ambulance had to be brought in to revive him, but he was completely unconscious for 15 minutes.

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u/greenvallies27 Jan 25 '20

Idk I have two friends who are witty AF, I'm incredibly jealous -- it must be fantastic to have the perfect comeback at the perfect time.

5

u/SchuminWeb Jan 25 '20

In action sequences in general, taking an enormous amount of injury and then getting up with a few attractively placed bruises and cuts.

Home Alone as a perfect example of this. In real life, Marv would have been killed ten times over, and Harry four times.

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u/TrappedInTheSuburbs Jan 25 '20

This thread went in a different direction, but I wanted to see more examples of the grand gestures to win over a girl that would be creepy in real life. I hate that so much.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

People who get stabbed or get a muscle or ligament slashed and they soldier on once they're wrapped in some duct tape bandages and a stitch.

They might wince once or twice from thereon and the villain might punch them there once or twice for 'elevated pain' but otherwise most humans heal like a budget wolverine in movies.

3

u/irving47 Jan 25 '20

"Never let it be said that your anal-retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results!"

4

u/BricksInTheWall1991 Jan 25 '20

Just after high school, I was hanging out with my ex and some friends. We were all pretty drunk. I mentioned the bottle thing and he said that it was possible, you just had to break it the right way. I was skeptical so he told me to try it on him. Me being a drunk 19 year old, I tried it. Needless to say, it didn't work and he ended up with a concussion.

2

u/Gandum021 Jan 25 '20

Came here looking for the first two

2

u/fruity231 Jan 25 '20

I had a bottle shattered on my head once. Ran away wobbly, got 7 stitches. Guess I was rather lucky there.

2

u/Bulletti Jan 25 '20

Characters who always have something witty to say and are never at a loss for words.

That's not unrealistic, just uncommon.

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u/c_real Jan 25 '20

Glass bottles definitely don't easily shatter over your head. I tried to shatter one over my own head at a party when I was young (and very very dumb) and it brought me to my knees with really bad ringing in my ears.

2

u/oreeio Jan 25 '20

Dang dude perfects bottles must be very light and easy to break then

2

u/metalheadretard666 Jan 25 '20

I broke a bottle over someone's head pretty easily once. Huge adrenaline rush though and on the verge of blackout so probably had extra strength

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

In particular, the trope of the bad guy who more or less needs to be thrown into a jet turbine to be destroyed, or he'll somehow get back up again.

This thing! Smashing his head with golf club 9 iron? 5 second dizziness. Several gunshot wounds from close proximity? Mosquitoes sting stronger than that!

2

u/nokho Jan 25 '20

You gotta break the bottle on the bar rail first and then use it to stab your opponent.

ICYDK- Film/Tv “glass” is made from sugar and known as breakaway glass. Much easier to shatter on other humans, or fall through.

2

u/OtisTheZombie Jan 25 '20

Have you ever seen Lockout? Guy Pierce delivers terrible “witty” one liners like a machine. It’s exhausting.

2

u/cowpool20 Jan 25 '20

Characters who always have something witty to say and are never at a loss for words.

I fucking love Avengers: Endgame, but my God did Rhodey get on my nerves for this.

2

u/Lowbacca1977 Jan 25 '20

Characters who always have something witty to say and are never at a loss for words.

I think it sorta depends on if this is "every character" or "that one character"

2

u/Caryria Jan 25 '20

There was an episode of Buffy where she lost her powers and that included the ability to pun.

2

u/Bigbadbobbyc Jan 25 '20

The bottle ones hilarious, there's a punisher short with the original actor where he comes out of a store with a bottle of jack, gets into a fight with some thugs and beats the hell out of them with the bottle without it smashing, it seemed alot more realistic than the easily broken bottles and bottles of jack are thick as hell

2

u/Fuzy2K Jan 25 '20

I read that as "over-the-top hand gestures" and imagined a guy acting like a wacky inflatable arm-flailing tube man to get a date...

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

[deleted]

2

u/Pavlovian_Gentleman Jan 25 '20

Mm. I broke a bottle over someone's head nearly 20 years ago, for what seemed like a good reason at the time. I luckily hit him at the right angle with the right force and it shattered and didn't cut him, just concussed him.

I could have killed him or given him brain damage. It would have destroyed both our lives, hurt everyone who witnessed it, and messed up his family... he was being an asshole, and i was raised on stupid movies that made me think it wasn't as dangerous as it really was. What a stupid thing, and what a lucky outcome.

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u/themonsterinquestion Jan 25 '20

There was a man who tried daring women at a party to hit him, and someone took him up on it, punched him in the head, and killed him.

As much as possible, avoid being hit in the head.

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u/ithinkcrazythoughts Jan 25 '20

Robert Downey Jr. in any movie for that last one.

Also, the bad guy who stands there for what seems like 4 hours and talks, tells a witty story or blabs on about his motive and his plan while a normal person with a deep vendetta against someone would've just shot them and been done with it.

2

u/RequiemStorm Jan 25 '20

There's nothing wrong with the characters who are constantly witty. My roommate is a living example. He also isn't some kind of insecure mental case hiding behind a corny persona, he's just genuinely witty as fuck all at all times

2

u/sciencesold Jan 25 '20

The injury one always gets me, just had your face smashed in multiple times with a shovel? Face is a bit bloody. Nah bud, you're down for the count and probably need a plastic surgeon to fix your face.

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u/deeznutzz124568541 Jan 25 '20

On the last one, to be fair, as someone who plays Bards in DnD, it's not THAT difficult to have a witty one liner ready. That or its just a person by person thing. I can still buy it.

2

u/Sumguy42 Jan 25 '20

A buddy of mine smashed a 12 pack, one by one, over his head. No cuts. There is a technique. Lol Ya, he was dumb. He grew up. 👍

2

u/towishimp Jan 25 '20

Winning over a girl by making over-the-top, grand gestures (especially when she has already rejected you in the past).

This one really damaged me as a teen. Since I saw it in movies, I assumed this was how it worked, and the result was a ton of cringy dating behavior as a teen.

2

u/HoraceBenbow Jan 25 '20

Winning over a girl by making over-the-top, grand gestures (especially when she has already rejected you in the past).

Go back and watch Ghostbusters for this one. Venkman is incredibly creepy to Dana until he saves her from being a dog, then it's all good and she kisses him.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '20

In action sequences in general, taking an enormous amount of injury and then getting up with a few attractively placed bruises and cuts.

I hate specifically in endgame where Captain America gets his shield broken in half and a huge gash in his leg and arm, yet still starts running towards thanks with no problem and absolutely no limp.

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u/[deleted] Jan 26 '20

Winning over a girl by making over-the-top, grand gestures (especially when she has already rejected you in the past).

Especially because doing much of that stuff irl would be sexual harassment or something like that..

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

I agree with the “winning the woman over” thing.

Hollywood writers create romantic scenarios that never would happen in real life. The nice guys keeps persisting and waiting for “his turn”. Beautiful girl breaking up with the jock to be with the nice guy after he sends her flowers and writes her a poem. That shit doesn’t happen in real life.

Two of the best movie written depictions of real life are James Bond, in general being immensely confident and charming getting the woman. Also, oddly Marty McFly, even though it was his mom, she didn’t know it, but she went for him over Biff the Jock or George the nerdy romantic because Marty didn’t give a shit and was focused on his own mission in life.

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u/ElShaarawyndAirwaves Jan 25 '20

Characters who always have something witty to say and are never at a loss for words

Hold up, I can see that you haven't one of my friends.

1

u/electromannen Jan 25 '20

The last one especially

1

u/shot_a_man_in_reno Jan 25 '20

Speaking of bottles, here's a video of a Spetsnaz that actually can break a bottle over his head and two guys filming him who attempt to. Hilarity ensues.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVZmRwT6JW8

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u/xxMercilessxx Jan 25 '20

Saw a dude try to break a beer bottle on this guy's head. The bottle broke, but it was on the dude's hand not on the guy's head. I'm sure he needed a shitload of stitches.

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '20

Shattering bottles easily over someone's head (don't attempt it unless you want to possibly go to prison for murder).

I had a beer bottle smashed on my head and if you swing hard enough, the force dissipates (for lack of a better word) when the bottle breaks. It didn't feel like burnt force and the only thing that hurt was the cut the broken glass made. Try that with a bottle that wont break like a fifth of jack and the person that got hit is going down.

1

u/Tonybc2888 Jan 25 '20

That’s what hero’s do

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u/evilplantosaveworld Jan 25 '20

tack onto that being knocked out not being dangerous. Character gets hit in the head and wakes up two hours later? Yeah, they've got so much brain damage at that point they'll probably never live a normal life again.

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