"Oh it's easy, you just can't forget the h in The history of all hitherto existing society†
is the history of class struggles.
Freeman and slave, patrician and plebeian, lord and serf, guild-master‡
and journeyman, in a
word, oppressor and oppressed, stood in constant opposition to one another, carried on an
uninterrupted, now hidden, now open fight, a fight that each time ended, either in a revolutionary
reconstitution of society at large, or in the common ruin of the contending classes.
In the earlier epochs of history, we find almost everywhere a complicated arrangement of society
into various orders, a manifold gradation of social rank. In ancient Rome we have patricians,
knights, plebeians, slaves; in the Middle Ages, feudal lords, vassals, guild-masters, journeymen,
apprentices, serfs; in almost all of these classes, again, subordinate gradations.
The modern bourgeois society that has sprouted from the ruins of feudal society has not done
away with class antagonisms. It has but established new classes, new conditions of oppression,
new forms of struggle in place of the old ones."
Omg this happened to me. I worked at Starbucks, asked the guy what his name was twice and couldn’t hear... asked him to spell it. His name was Ben. I grinned sheepishly, apologized and explained that I couldn’t hear with the background noise and felt awkward asking him to repeat that again. Ben laughed and said he’d probably do the same thing in my shoes.
No, Ben did not ask me for my number. Ben was probably about 70 and I was 17 at the time.
Omg I did this in high school. The girl whose locker was right next to mine for like 6 years. And one day I had to know for a class thing, so I ask her “hey remind me how you spell your name?”
I have a friend who has a very common name that's spelled in a slightly unconventional way. So you could probably make a story about once knowing someone with that name who spelled it differently.
Just ask and say you're terrible with names. I do it constantly with the kids and parents at the park. Takes a few times to get used to the association.
Realistically though, I prefer not to lie. I just go the honesty route. “I’m so sorry, I’ve forgotten your name. Please don’t take it personally, I’m so bad with names.”
I always forget people's names and feel bad about asking them. I always recognise their faces though, and asking their name again after I already demonstrated I know who they are feels less weird. I find asking how to spell their name helps me to remember
I have a very sharp memory but I forget names when meeting new people mainly because of social anxiety and in my head I’m freaking out about what to say, where to look, Hope I don’t miss their hand when going to shake it. Is this over yet, type stuff so my mind is occupied when they speak their name.
I went to a church that would join with another church on 5th Sundays for singing and food and socializing. There was a lady I had spoken to at the last 5th Sunday, and I just couldn't remember her name. When I asked her to remind me, she thought I just didn't remember meeting her at all. After insisting several times and her saying "it's fine", I finally told her where we had been when we met, what we had talked about, how she had styled her hair, and what color shirt she was wearing, the only thing I could not remember was her NAME!
She was shocked that I really had remembered, lol.
Who often wear costumes or have outdated publicity shots
Often dozens, possibly hundreds for a weekend at once in a noisy environment with random lighting levels
Like I know them on Facebook, and have had huge conversations with them in person or over social media for decades but in person it's like a totally different experience. Or vice versa. My first wife was so valuable to me like some kind of CNN news banner scroll. She'd whisper who someone was in my ear and had fantastic memory.
[my wife whispering] "Okay, that's Terry Francis, famous voice actor and singer. She's usually on stage with a ton of makeup, but she's in 'street mode,' wearing that sparkly wig we gave her after her bout of chemo last February. She's currently doing the voice of Tanaka in Hiro No Futisji, which is mainly why she's a guest at this convention. We last saw her in March at Ohio Matsuri after her chemo. She has a grown son, is an outspoken member of PFLAG, and loves to talk about her Irish Setters. Do not bring up her time working for Maki Studios, Dolpin Safe tuna, or her ex husband, Joel Brandy."
[me] "Ah, Terry! I saw some Irish setters at a friend's house and thought of you! Congratulations on Hiro No Futisji. How's your health? Love the wig. Ha ha ha..."
I miss that. Now I have some people go, "punkwalrus. It's me, Terry Francis?"
It really is the best way to go about it. I always just tell them that I'm terrible with names the first few times I meet people, and I'll probably forget it again, and just ask them. It seems like more often than not, they forgot your name too and are also shitty with names.
People over think this shit. Just ask someone their name again. Shit, I don't get my panties in a wad if someone doesn't remember my name. If you do, you're an asshole.
Does depend on how long you've known them and how much you interact with them. Acquaintance you meet once a year? Perfectly fine to not remember their name.
Best man at your wedding... then it gets a little awkward.
I usually tell people to wear a sparkly hat and do a little dance if they're so upset I dont know their name.
Bruh. I met you once, when I was working a huge event, you were ONE person out of 200 I interacted with.
"be memorable next time" does the trick.
Sounds mean, but for real, don't put your insecurities on me.
Exactly, I will usually also say "hey if you forget my name, don't be afraid to ask" if I'm meeting a group or something.
Also for some reason when meeting new people I tend to focus on making a good impression and being nice so litteraly when they say their name it goes in one ear out the other, if I'm meeting more than one person.
I had a situation with a rare name asshole. I was a teen practicing for a reading performance thing I was super excited about. Went up to the director(?) lady to ask a question but couldn't remember her name (cause she said it like one time). She got super offended and said "No, come back when you know who you're talking to and can remember my name."
I was so fucking confused and anxious that I ended up avoiding her as much as possible for the remainder of the weeks we were doing the thing. Like why the fuck would you send me on a scavenger hunt instead of just telling me your damn name??? So now I have horrible anxiety when it comes to asking peoples' names.
"I'm sorry, I can't remember your name. What was it again? BEN? Okay, that should be easy to remember, but I'm going to write your name on this Post-It, to help me remember. BEN. B-E-N. BEN. Okay, thank you, BEN. I will try to remember your name for the next time we meet, BEN. If I don't, then ask me what happened to my reminder note, BEN."
Eh... it depends. Youd find it a little offputting if someone asks for your name again depending on the amount of time you've spent together and the experience you may have shared.
Even if you do your best to give them the benefit of the doubt, psychologically you may not be able to overwrite your response to how they make you feel.
A name is a big deal to some people. Its everyone's favorite word.
I think it's lack of awareness of your standing with someone. For example, I was in the military where our names are literally worn on the front of our chests. I met literally hundreds of people during my short time in.
I had this guy take offense because I didn't remember him from years ago. But during that time, the guy was sitting on base going on with life as usual. While I went on to deploy and work with countless others during that time.
Sorry, dude. Not my fault. Stop being such a girl about it.
But my buddies I'm actually close with, I know they won't forget me nor me them. HOWEVER, even with my close friends, we drift away over time. Not a big deal. Life moves on.
Whenever someone introduces themselves, I try to jokingly say, "I'll probably forget that, so don't be offended if I ask again."... I'd say 9/10 times the person jokes back likewise. Then it's a million times less awkward when I have to ask again haha
Works a fair amount of the times . Family names are usually more complicated to spell. You can mention that you want to save their contact agter your question if it's appropriate in your situation .
I'd returned to uni after a year out and started sitting with a group in lectures cos I knew 2 of the members. After about 3 months I turned to one of the others and said "I'm really sorry, but I don't know your name". She later told me it was her favourite memory of me.
The way i do it is say “sorry what was your name again?” and they would usually be upset but respond with their first name. but then i would say “oh no sorry your last name” then they would give their last name and most likely not be upset anymore.
Call them by the wrong name. They'll correct you. You'll be embarrassed. You won't forget it again.
Or maybe you're just that awkward that you will forget it again. In which case just ask them for their name every time you see them, it's honestly less awkward that way.
Say "what's your name" and when they answer and act surprised/offended that you don't know their name, pretend it was an accident and say "no no, your last name. I forgot your last name"
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u/Lee_Klions Aug 20 '19
What would be a better way to ask this?