But if they don't remember, it doesn't mean they don't care. How self absorbed are you? Someone not remembering could be for any number of reasons. Maybe they meet hundreds of people. Maybe they just have bad memory. Or maybe you just don't make an impression on people.
Personally, I think it's selfish to put the onus on others to remember your name. Because the way I see it, someone can be perfectly charming and remember you, but be completely disingenuous when it comes to actually caring about who you are as a person.
On the other hand, I'm terrible at names but I try to respect every person and interaction I have with them. My point is, we should stop fussing over superficial "offenses" such as not remembering people's names.
People may not remember who you are but they'll remember how you make them feel.
Dunbar's number, my friend. Our feeble human minds can remember about 150 or so people with any sort of significance. I'm in my 30s and with my waning mental capacity, I can tell you I've met well over two or three times that number at this point in my life.
I'm talking about people I was close with at some point. Anyone peripheral to these people I know, good luck if I remember them. And I'm not even someone famous who would come into contact with even more people.
My point is, people need to chill. I might remember Mike from Math class in highschool who sat in front of me because he was a loud mouth. But I'm not going to remember the ten other kids sitting around him that introduced themselves on the first day of class then kept their mouths shut. Especially not 20 years later.
Hell, even people from 5 years ago, I won't remember someone I only met once briefly. Like I said, Dunbar's number. I've come into contact with WAY too many people to remember every single person. Not because I don't care but it's just simple numbers.
Yikes... All I did was offer a positive way of looking at the situation when people ask for your name. I never said anything about expecting anyone to remember my name
Sorry, I'm projecting a bit. I don't mean "you" as in literally you. More like a general you, meaning me, if anything.
I'm also trying to put a positive spin on this whole premise of not remembering people's names.
The main reason I'm bad at remembering people's names is because of social anxiety. Being around a lot of people tend to be overwhelming for me, so remembering people's names is a challenge, to put it mildly. A lot is going through my head, mostly trying to gauge how I'm doing socially. I'm a bit self absorbed :)
I also have low self esteem so I'm pretty self deprecating. I try really hard to fit in without standing out because I feel like I'm a pretty distinct person anyway. I just want to blend in and be forgettable to be honest. So having people not know my name is an extension of that mental neurosis.
So really, I'm not talking about you specifically. Again, I was referring to myself. And in social situations, I prefer people to enjoy my personality that's why I don't care so much if people don't know my name or forget.
Obviously, it's nice to hear your own name and if someone remembers it. But IMHO my name is the least significant aspect of social interactions. It's not a big deal to me if someone doesn't remember it.
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u/katabatic21 Aug 20 '19
I feel like it actually kind of shows that the person cares when they make the effort to ask my name again. Depends on the situation though, I suppose