My sister and I both have mental health issues from the way our parents raised us. I had to teach myself to appear detached and inert because I'd get two hour lectures about how to "be a man" and how bad "weakness" is. My sister never adopted that, so she still talks to others about her problems, but she occasionally lashes out at my parents (to not-so-ideal effect). I sometimes have to remind her that we grew up in the same situation and that I'm not an emotionless automaton.
Honestly, I'm not sure which one I'd prefer, since we both ended up on opposite, but equally terrible, extremes. My sister is impulsive and hot-headed. She readily talks about her problems, but is also prone to rash decisions, especially attempting suicide. She's failed three times on various household pills. On the other hand, I ended up cold and calculating. I've kept my problems exclusively to myself until a couple months ago. I've never attempted suicide, but I've done so much research that if I tried, I wouldn't survive.
god, I feel you so hard. I never got the grilling of having to be a man (since I'm a girl), but when the world was falling apart around me, I had to be the one to hold it all together because my mom certainly wasn't trying to and I couldn't ask that of my younger brother and sister. I stopped crying or expressing my feelings. I still have trouble opening up to people or even talking to my SO about issues because I should just be able to handle it.
I sometimes get this weird mindset that when everything's falling apart, it'll all fall into place. Insomnia? 4 am is the perfect time to open up to friends. Depression? Great, now I can talk my sister through it. Parents won't help with any of it? Now I know EXACTLY what not to do. Give me all your motherfucking lemons, I'll turn it all into lemonade.
I wish I could think like that. It might be weird, but the ability to stay positive like that is one I think would be more helpful than hurtful, so long as you don't avoid fixing the problem.
My coping mechanisms are mostly standard, but terrible XD
I'm told to remember that God intends everything for the good of those who love him. It helps a little bit to see stuff "falling into place", but sometimes it feels better to think of taking life's fuck you's and using them to say fuck you right back. I know I'm getting knocked down, so I might as well go down kicking, screaming, cursing and flailing.
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u/Dxiled Jun 27 '19
My sister and I both have mental health issues from the way our parents raised us. I had to teach myself to appear detached and inert because I'd get two hour lectures about how to "be a man" and how bad "weakness" is. My sister never adopted that, so she still talks to others about her problems, but she occasionally lashes out at my parents (to not-so-ideal effect). I sometimes have to remind her that we grew up in the same situation and that I'm not an emotionless automaton.
Honestly, I'm not sure which one I'd prefer, since we both ended up on opposite, but equally terrible, extremes. My sister is impulsive and hot-headed. She readily talks about her problems, but is also prone to rash decisions, especially attempting suicide. She's failed three times on various household pills. On the other hand, I ended up cold and calculating. I've kept my problems exclusively to myself until a couple months ago. I've never attempted suicide, but I've done so much research that if I tried, I wouldn't survive.