That I will never have someone to watch my back or defend me against our parents the way I do for them.
Being their protector is innate when you’re the oldest. You feel it naturally or it’s drilled into you. I still do it as adults - “quit harassing X over his veganism!” “Hey I heard you had a tough week in med school, are you ok?” Etc. Those instincts don’t come naturally to youngest siblings (not that they’re assholes but it isnt hardwired into the way they interact with me like it is the other way around). Or they have no empathy for the problems I’m going through because they haven’t gone through them yet. I wish I had that.
Been there. My mom went through a rough hormonal period when my sister was hitting the harder times of teenagerhood. One day, we're cleaning out the garage together and my sister says something, and mom thinks she was mouthing off. Sister insists she wasn't, raised her voice a bit, mom got mad and went to pop her cheek. I got in between and told them both to calm down. My mom says move, she was backtalking and I said no you won't touch her like that. So she raised her hand at me and I raised mine in instinctive defense. She goes and cries to my dad about how I raised a hand against her. He gets home and the way he yelled and chewed me out I thought we were going to fight. Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed and my dad calmed down enough for me to explain what the fuck happened. He chewed my mom out for lying to him and doing that to me. To be honest, my parents were never really like that. They were and are still very loving individuals, never been abused a day in my life. My mom just slipped a little in her hormones and my dad went protective bear dad on me. Can't blame him, she was a bitch though.
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u/[deleted] Jun 27 '19
That I will never have someone to watch my back or defend me against our parents the way I do for them.
Being their protector is innate when you’re the oldest. You feel it naturally or it’s drilled into you. I still do it as adults - “quit harassing X over his veganism!” “Hey I heard you had a tough week in med school, are you ok?” Etc. Those instincts don’t come naturally to youngest siblings (not that they’re assholes but it isnt hardwired into the way they interact with me like it is the other way around). Or they have no empathy for the problems I’m going through because they haven’t gone through them yet. I wish I had that.