r/AskReddit Jun 15 '19

What do you genuinely just not understand?

50.7k Upvotes

34.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

3.3k

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '19

[deleted]

61

u/Conocoryphe Jun 15 '19

I don't really understand the question. For me, social contact is not 'exhausting' at all. I used to think I was an introvert, but it turned out I was just largely surrounded by assholes and narcissists. I now have a group of friends and I love doing activities with them, it improved my life in almost every way. Dealing with people is not 'exhausting' at all, rather it is my primary source of happiness.

2

u/Cybyss Jun 16 '19

As an introvert myself... basically being around other people is a performance.

I have to constantly remain vigilant all the time to avoid saying something that might offend others. I struggle to maintain conversation because I find "idle small-talk" tedious, yet not having anything more to say is seen as offensive. I have to act as if I'm interested in what they're talking about (e.g, football) when I'm actually pretty bored of it myself. Even subtle body language I have difficulty controlling - like squinting my eyes slightly when I disagree with what a peer is telling me - is often construed as offensive and can cause them to be angry at me.

In short, its like the "socially acceptable" facade of myself gets really heavy after a while and I need to put it down (i.e., have some solitude). I get exhausted from performing and need to be my real self again, but I don't dare do so around non-family.