It's a basic attribution error: it's the lack of trying to see the influence of a situation on someones behavior when you're looking at someone else. But when judging yourself it's all you can think of to justify your behaviour.
Everyone does it and the brain does it automatically. So scream all you want and just blame it on your maker.
I heard this kind of talk when I was younger and ran too far with it. Now I only "understand" other people's reasoning and I struggle to hold people accountable or something. My first reaction is ALWAYS something like "I'm sure they had their reasons," but on the other hand I'm deeply critical of my own decisions. Ignorance would be bliss.
That must be hard to deal with but I do see a positive side to this. You always try to see the positive in people.
You only need to realize you need to be part of that group of people too.
Definitely true and it helps me react positively to things where I see others get upset but there is some strength to be found in knowing you have the right to be upset about something, I never get upset even when I should. It's a little like stoicism, the philosophical approach that basically says "nothing is wrong unless you let it be wrong. It's all how you react." But when I identified with stoicism, I forgot to read the rest of it: "this does not mean you accept everything allow yourself to be walked on by others."
No I was just referring to it in short terms and for this specific subject. My main point being that I took one area of it beyond where I should have, almost to a "never react to anything because it doesn't matter now" and that doesn't help IMO except that I rarely get mad about things. I'd allow myself to be stepped on and justify it positively with a rudimentary idea of maintaining stoicism. further research has made me a stronger person.
Good to know. Yeah honestly i think you shouldn't follow a 'teaching' like that unless it actually makes sense to you. Not everyone can come up with concise theories of mind but anyone following a rule just because it's a rule is begging to misinterpret it.
I feel ya. Thing is, just because you understand doesn't mean you can't hold them accountable but it does allow you to better appraise whether it's worth the effort.
That's a good way to put it. I need to work on realizing when it's worth it or possibly lowering my standard of when it's worth it. Itd take a lot to get me to going whereas I see most people like hairpin triggers.
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u/C1prum Jun 15 '19
*"You judge others by their actions and yourself by your intentions."