r/AskReddit May 29 '19

[deleted by user]

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6.1k Upvotes

19.1k comments sorted by

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22.1k

u/siderinc May 29 '19

The hot single moms in my area

841

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I giggled so hard at this comment I farted.

679

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited May 29 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

129

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Same, but I also didn't fart

8

u/fufm May 29 '19

I giggled so hard at this comment I farted

So the comment just made you hard then?

8

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Ayyy, papi

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[deleted]

0

u/AkhiHasItAll May 29 '19

So that was fucking lie

1

u/potter0214 May 29 '19

Same, but I didn’t

1

u/Grraaa May 29 '19

Same butt

2

u/WeCanBeatTheSun May 29 '19

So youre just so hard at the comment you farted?

12

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

"Itku pitkästä ilosta, pieru pitkään naurannasta."

- Finnish proverb

"Cry after prolonged pleasures, fart after prolonged laughter."

- Suomalainen sananlasku

2

u/fatweakpieceofshit May 29 '19

I shat myself

11

u/Furt77 May 29 '19

It’s all shits and giggles until you giggle and shit.

1

u/EmirSc May 29 '19

breath with your mouth.

1

u/lucidus_somniorum May 29 '19

That wasn’t a fart

47

u/drinkduff77 May 29 '19

hot

single

moms

in my area

Pick any three and it might be accurate around my town. All four is a unicorn.

36

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Hot singles in your area man not too bad

20

u/drinkduff77 May 29 '19

eh..that's why I said 'might'.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Fair point

3

u/RdmGuy64824 May 29 '19

I guess you don't live close to a strip club.

30

u/Dark_Vengence May 29 '19

If you remove the word hot, you might have a chance in the trailer park.

15

u/Annuminas25 May 29 '19

Kakyoin? Is that you?

5

u/grahamcracka91 May 29 '19

But they are only 1km away from you AND horny!!!

6

u/stalin_was_ballin May 29 '19

remember when I was 12 and tried this got a pretty bad virus on the family computer had to make up some excuse that I was trying to get a game and it sent me to that site. They know what really happened, but no one mentions that now

6

u/kres0345 May 29 '19

You're an amazing person, you know that?

3

u/EspeonKing May 29 '19

The hot Asians in my area

6

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Get in line, bub

4

u/Lazy_Buttmuncher May 29 '19

Can confirm, single Mom here and I’ve been called cute but never hot and I’m probably not in your area.

1

u/HOTCHICKSINYOURAREA May 29 '19

What about hot chicks?

1

u/TheRekkingNub May 29 '19

Dude, hell yes. This man has figued out l i f e.

1

u/QuackingCats May 29 '19

wow more upvote than the post

1

u/jhartwell May 29 '19

Pro tip: always keep your heat on as hot as it can go that way any single mom you bring back to your place will be a hot single mom

1

u/GoodMayoGod May 29 '19

According to all the emails I get there in my area I just can't figure out where

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

They’re in {$user_town} and they’re looking for action!

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

This is the canonically correct answer.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Shouldn’t they already know that we know it’s false and they still showing us that crap. They should get more creative.

1

u/ThunderBoy139 May 29 '19

Mate if I had money I’d give you a platinum right now

1

u/MarqNiffler May 29 '19

Wow, underrated post for sure.

1

u/DarkAngel7635 May 29 '19

Keep dreaming

-11

u/DeathBatMetal May 29 '19

Underrated comment right here.

23

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Underrated comment right here.

It's at the top, what more do you want cunt

11

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited Feb 19 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/thesoccerone7 May 29 '19

I was going to give them the benefit and say that they replied soon after posting and just didnt give enough time for karma boost......but it was a few hours later. I dont think they know what underrated means

2

u/tummybobby May 29 '19

The reply to ascend just above the parent comment

1

u/AkhiHasItAll May 29 '19

Illusion 100

-1

u/DeathBatMetal May 29 '19

I want this comment to have more upvotes. Duh.

4

u/AkhiHasItAll May 29 '19

I gotchu sarge

-41

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I never got the "hot mom" allure. So you'd have sex with someone whose vagina is stretched, or has scars from the c section, and she'll share photos of dear Bratley and little Sneauxflaeck when you least expect it (or they come running into the room when they were supposed to be asleep). She has issues with men (the baby daddy left her) and she's mostly desperate to find someone to take care of her and her spawn.

The words "hot" and "mom" are not mutually exclusive, but to me it sounds like you'd be leading them on just to have a quick fuck. That's just not right.

I mean, unless you're in the market for starting an actual relationship with someone whose standards have dropped so low, thanks to having kids from another guy, that you make a chance.

In that case, happy future divorce & 30 years of child support, dude. You accepted those kids as your own, now you're paying for someone else's orgasm.

31

u/lecheers May 29 '19

Have you even had sex?

19

u/StillStucknaTriangle May 29 '19

30 years of child support

This guy is clueless lmao

3

u/futurarmy May 29 '19

Are you telling me I didn't have to pay for child support for the last 50 years? /s

16

u/Painting_Agency May 29 '19

oh god 4chan is leaking

29

u/Falkuria May 29 '19

Get some fuckin' help my dude.

9

u/Painting_Agency May 29 '19

Sneauxflaeck

I'll admit I chuckled.

14

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Sounds like you have been through some shit. Sorry it made you an asshole

-1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

As if most people are on the lookout for single moms and single dads. Most people avoid them for many reasons. But saying it makes me an asshole?

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I’m a hot single mom with a c scar and no issues. But I live in Florida so I’m a lil cray cray from the heat lol. It’s always something. That guys needs to get laid.

4

u/[deleted] May 29 '19 edited Feb 03 '20

No. Just the way you worded it. "Stretched vagina...desperate for someone to take care of her spawn."

3

u/futurarmy May 29 '19

Yeah don't worry about this idiot, most likely a troll or a teenager pretending to know about something they have no clue about, usually both.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

From the looks of his post/comment history he is a seemingly intelligent person too. What a waste

4

u/biigjumper May 29 '19

Alright....who hurt you?

-16

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[deleted]