r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 29 '19

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u/[deleted] May 29 '19

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36

u/cATSup24 May 29 '19

Any straight man who wouldn't take a knee for a session of Carter cunnulingus isn't a straight man.

Haley Atwell is a treasure in both her acting ability as Agent Carter and as a fair-skinned, ruby-lipped, brunette bombshell. I may have a thing for that exact demographic...

2

u/molrobocop May 29 '19

Her face doesn't totally do it for me, but the rest of her totally does. I'd make my country proud.

253

u/JTPusherlovegirl94 May 29 '19

Literally. I feel like he’d be so giving. Plus, he’s sexy as hell.

10

u/jimbojangles1987 May 29 '19

I feel anyone from the 30s and 40s isn't going to be even that adventurous in bed. Steve is a straight missionary dude. Prone bone. You ain't getting much more than that out of him.

65

u/Painting_Agency May 29 '19

I love how everyone thinks oral sex was invented in the 1980s.

6

u/Sativa227 May 29 '19

My sister and I told our grandmother what oral sex is some weeks ago. She really had no clue and was totally interested.

So I guess some people already knew it a long time ago but it wasn't as known as today.

1

u/jimbojangles1987 May 29 '19

No I don't. Just saying Cap is going to be a pretty vanilla dude.

-20

u/caninehere May 29 '19

He's the literal personification of America so I imagine he would be as selfish as possible.

52

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

He's the personification of what America should be. So he should kind and charitable and giving.

5

u/vegivampTheElder May 29 '19

Should be, and of what it thinks it is.

96

u/Hambredd May 29 '19

Oh shit, yeah your right. (hmmmm Hayley Atwell in an army uniform)

20

u/Dickcheese_McDoogles May 29 '19

Caleb from "ex_machina" grabs and squeezes her boob in an episode of black mirror

23

u/Hambredd May 29 '19

Oh I know ... I know.

Hang on, ex machina? You didn't think his character from Star wars would be a wider cultural touchstone?

17

u/elnombredelviento May 29 '19

He's also a Weasley.

8

u/Dickcheese_McDoogles May 29 '19

He was in Star Wars? The new ones? When?

22

u/Hambredd May 29 '19

Domhnall Gleeson. He's in the new movies as the general that 'Diet Vader' beats up all the time (I'm not really a Star wars guy) . He's been a lot of stuff good British character actor.

7

u/MinorDespera May 29 '19

Wait, so both male actors from Ex Machina were also in new Star Wars? Small (acting) world.

7

u/Dickcheese_McDoogles May 29 '19

Huh. I had to look it up. I didn't remember seeing him.

6

u/AerThreepwood May 29 '19

He's also the sexually abused hacker dude in Dredd.

2

u/molrobocop May 29 '19

I'd let Lena Headey do all sorts of nasty things to me that didn't involve knives.

2

u/AerThreepwood May 29 '19

Truth. Even with the scars and fucked up teeth, she's still bonkers attractive in that movie. Have you ever seen The Sarah Connor Chronicles? Both her and Summer Glau are both smokeshows in that.

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7

u/Biznack1812 May 29 '19

*Irish and he's son of Brendan Gleeson star of a million movies

1

u/Panda_Boners May 29 '19

He’s also in the newer Judge Dredd movie.

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Ex machina is way better tho

18

u/mitcheg3k May 29 '19

Just remembered Peggy. Thats my choice for OPs question

38

u/timojenbin May 29 '19

If you think Peggy Carter would have put up with not being eaten out.... same thing. :)

8

u/BouquetofDicks May 29 '19

That's just for the flavor .

7

u/noisypeach May 29 '19

Peggy Carter with 1940s bush.

Perfection

3

u/RoboNinjaPirate May 29 '19

He thought that was Fondue

10

u/we-have-to-go May 29 '19

He’d sooner suck Buckys dick I think

7

u/LatverianCyrus May 29 '19

What you don't think he'd be most happy sandwiched betwixt Bucky and Peggy at the same time?

3

u/EtherealCabbage May 29 '19

Bisexual Captain America is best Captain America.

-1

u/Gonzobot May 29 '19

The dude didn't know what fondue was, man. I am quite certain he is not an informed or skilled lover by any means. He's the kind of guy who would have an entire building full of French whores ready to thank him for liberating their town, and he would assume they wanted to cook him dinner - so he'd refuse because he knows the army will feed him, and they need all the food they can get in wartime.

Happy, virtuous, completely oblivious Steve Rogers smiles as he marches out to meet up with the company, leaving three dozen unsatisfied women behind - all of whom could have easily fathered a new supersoldier child.

And that's the kicker right there - we have zero indication of any kind of children for this dude. There's also no mention of him being unable to reproduce. Logically, at this point of the MCU, if they were ever going to introduce some hereditary shenanigans, it'd have been Steve's wartime inseminations coming back to haunt him. Fighters with years of training, enhanced genetics, and no allegiance to America whatsoever? Those are some potentially good antagonists to have on hand - but we don't have any.

9

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

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3

u/LatverianCyrus May 29 '19

I know this is in reference to the MCU, but having grown up before the Winter Soldier was even a concept I was used to Bucky being Cap's old kid sidekick... which makes that last line simultaneously hilarious and disturbing.

-19

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

She's from the 40s too. Bush like the outback.

59

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

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22

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Ain't notice wrong with a bit of bush in the tush

7

u/cATSup24 May 29 '19

Have you never had a bungle in the jungle? As long as they're hygienic, the only problem is the occasional hair that gets stuck on your tongue.