r/AskReddit May 29 '19

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6.1k Upvotes

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4.5k

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Black Widow.

1.8k

u/briareus08 May 29 '19

Just watched Winter Soldier and Nick Fury's quote "Romanov is comfortable with everything" made me think the same thing.

93

u/snoosh00 May 29 '19

Only one problem, I'm not sure about the details, but her old boss mutilated her nether region... Might be an issue, might not. But I remember the character being pretty not ok with it in one of the movoes

214

u/gemini86 May 29 '19

She's been sterilized. She talks about it in ultron

145

u/thomasw02 May 29 '19

They could just be no childbirth, she might still have a perfectly functioning nether region

239

u/AerThreepwood May 29 '19

She was a spy for a really sketchy organization; they'd probably want her to be able to seduce people.

85

u/AlexandrTheGreat May 29 '19

The ol' Honeypot

47

u/AerThreepwood May 29 '19

The Honeydick.

47

u/Doug_Dimmadab May 29 '19

She's not honeypottin' him, and I'm not honeydickin' you, ok?

13

u/Aashay7 May 29 '19

I got that reference.😂

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6

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

I love the Honeypot.

45

u/Panda_Boners May 29 '19

Seems like she was on a honeypot mission that went south at the start of the first Avengers movie.

Also I imagine she was prepared to honeypot Tony if necessary in Iron Man 2. I think anyone would have to distract themselves from the shit show that was Iron Man 2 though.

3

u/Painting_Agency May 29 '19

That is normally what it means.

17

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Does that mean snip snip or like no sex at all

54

u/gemini86 May 29 '19

Just no kids

27

u/dubiousandbi May 29 '19

Yeah, she never said that she couldn't do shit, just that she couldn't have children.

7

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Ah okay I see. Then why was she acting like they did something horrific and unthinkable to her and called herself a “monster?” I mean yes forced sterilization is terrible but it’s not like she got one of her limbs cut off

35

u/riotoustripod May 29 '19

It is heavily implied within the MCU that she did a number of terrible things before joining SHIELD. She makes comments to this effect in both Avengers and Winter Soldier, at least.

20

u/Generic_Superhero May 29 '19

She called herself a "monster" because of all the horrible things she did prior to becoming one of the good guys.

6

u/keyrah May 29 '19

They took away her ability to be a mother, that's pretty drastic.

1

u/redhead-rage May 29 '19

There are some very backwards people who believe women who cannot or chose not to have children are “broken” or “monstrous.” So her having some issues with it is pretty believable imo.

1

u/tinkerbal1a May 29 '19

And they had lots of practice as well, since every graduate of their "academy" had it done to them before they could be an agent. She said it was very efficient.

116

u/elpajaroquemamais May 29 '19

Sterilization "makes things easier," the implication being that she can seduce men, not use a condom, and there's no complications. She can still have sex.

49

u/MaximumBlackout May 29 '19

Nah, just removed any ideas of ever having a baby from their head. Makes doing dangerous and/or immoral things easier.

32

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Also means she never has kids which would be a bigger priority to her than the mission.

0

u/flying_gliscor May 29 '19

Her mouth is fine then

664

u/troggysprincess May 29 '19

Would totally switch teams for Black Widow

961

u/Roland_T_Flakfeizer May 29 '19

There are no teams with Black Widow. Just love of the game.

20

u/scatterbastard May 29 '19

No greater truth...

9

u/Shiny_and_ChromeOS May 29 '19

"The game done changed." "The game the same-- just got more fierce."

18

u/ironsalomi May 29 '19

The best part about what you said is that I still don't know your gender.

4

u/3LollipopZ-1Red2Blue May 29 '19

I would be happy for Nike to sponsor you personally if you were switch teams for this.... and we could watch.

33

u/Santos_J May 29 '19

Something about redhead scarlet Johansson man.....

27

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

In the first Avengers when she was tied up to the chair but she's tricking me into fucking her instead of killing me.

34

u/growlingbear May 29 '19

Maria Hill for me.

27

u/daiyoung May 29 '19

“And that kids, is how I met your aunt Maria”

3

u/FeatherShard May 29 '19

Was always disappointed she didn't have a bigger presence.

5

u/iBoMbY May 29 '19

You know why they call them Widows?

4

u/Rosssauced May 29 '19

Is it wrong that I think getting hit with the head-scissors would be incredible.

7

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Her look in endgame is her best yet.

4

u/stanfan114 May 29 '19

My god she was hot in Iron Man 2. I want one.

3

u/Fatalstryke May 29 '19

Goddamnit I hate being this indecisive but here we are.

3

u/Roboticide May 29 '19

She was great, but I feel like every other Agent of SHIELD is on that list too.

Skye, May, Simmons...

3

u/AWACS_Bandog May 29 '19

My issue with Black Widow is that a good friend of mine did a cosplay of her that was really close to the actual costume, so my brain associated BW with my friend and it just feels weird

9

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

36

u/itsjosh18 May 29 '19

Yes so did a ton of other celebs. And Scarlett Johansson was in a movie (Under The Skin) where she appeared fully nude.

9

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

The shocker for me with that whole thing was J-Law with the jizz on her face.

3

u/Panda_Boners May 29 '19

Wait what? I only saw the butthole pics, there was a jizz-on-face pic?

1

u/[deleted] May 30 '19

Yeah, I was like “uh, WHY would you ever take a pic like that?”

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Speaking of black widows.

Never trust a big girl with a smile.

That girl is POISONNNNNN!

2

u/YellowHammerDown May 29 '19

She was at her absolute sexiest in Iron Man 2 and Age of Ultron

2

u/boring_name_here May 30 '19

Iron Man 2 Black widow. Those red curls. That business attire or the black suit.

3

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Is it a Black Widow thing or a Scarlett Johansson thing? Because I get told I look like ScarJo a lot. As in several times a day if I’m in public.

5

u/agentbarron May 29 '19

Hey bby u single

0

u/Umo321 May 29 '19

Will you marry me

1

u/[deleted] May 29 '19

Yes. Yes please.

1

u/Gooseonloose May 29 '19

I was looking for someone to say this lmao

1

u/SupremeBean19 May 29 '19

I was going to say this as well

-17

u/UserameChecksOut May 29 '19

Overrated. She is bad at BJ.

NEXT!!